RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/11/2006 10:41:47 PM)
quote: My toes are cold. What do I do? Set your feet on fire... duh. There is a strange noise outside and I am not sure if I want to go find out what it is. Should I go find out or remain blissfully ignorant?

nefertari -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/11/2006 10:47:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge There is a strange noise outside and I am not sure if I want to go find out what it is. Should I go find out or remain blissfully ignorant? You should go find out. It might be your missing chipmunk. But take the gasoline sprayer in case it's not. I set my feet on fire and now my house smells funny. How do I get rid of the smell?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/11/2006 10:51:02 PM)
quote: I set my feet on fire and now my house smells funny. How do I get rid of the smell? Set your couch on fire, that should take care of the burnt feet smell. OK... I went outside and there were two skunks humping. I got a little stimulated by this. Now I am considering watching Animal Planet to see if they have any more animal mating shows. My question is... why are the skunks getting sex and I am not?

nefertari -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/11/2006 10:58:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge OK... I went outside and there were two skunks humping. I got a little stimulated by this. Now I am considering watching Animal Planet to see if they have any more animal mating shows. My question is... why are the skunks getting sex and I am not? Maybe they smell better? (just a guess....) I would also recommend National Geographic over Animal Planet for animal mating shows. I set my couch on fire and the neighbors called the fire department. They think I'm nuts. How do I explain this to them? (And by the way..now my house just smells like burnt feet and burnt wood.)

jojoluvr -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/11/2006 11:09:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nefertari quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge OK... I went outside and there were two skunks humping. I got a little stimulated by this. Now I am considering watching Animal Planet to see if they have any more animal mating shows. My question is... why are the skunks getting sex and I am not? Maybe they smell better? (just a guess....) I would also recommend National Geographic over Animal Planet for animal mating shows. I set my couch on fire and the neighbors called the fire department. They think I'm nuts. How do I explain this to them? (And by the way..now my house just smells like burnt feet and burnt wood.) well, obviously, you set their house/houses on fire -- that'll teach 'em! i need to work but the place where i work is having some remodeling and smells toxic. what should i do?

nefertari -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/11/2006 11:27:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jojoluvr i need to work but the place where i work is having some remodeling and smells toxic. what should i do? Insist that your employer provide you with a hazmat suit and wear it at all times inside the workplace. My dog is a very picky eater. How do I make her eat?

SavageFaerie -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/11/2006 11:34:25 PM)
Get another dog....will protect and wolf down food fast. I wanted to see the falling star shower tonight but the moon has headlights how can I make it go all dark like?

WayWardSoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/12/2006 5:52:10 PM)
quote: I wanted to see the falling star shower tonight but the moon has headlights how can I make it go all dark like? Have someone place a hood on your head, then have them hit you in the head with a cast iron skillet a few times. I might have just got Faerie a concussion, should I send an ambulance to take her to the hospital?

SweetlyTwisted -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/13/2006 1:15:52 PM)
Seeing you are a professional driver, you should drive her but make sure you stop to get fuel, then go by McD's to get a #3 (nothing for her 'cuz she will barf on you). You wouldn't want to pass out from hunger on your way there. If she starts whining, whack her again before you get there. I've just ran out of Diet Coke, my favorite drink, what should I do?

CatNmouse2002 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/13/2006 2:12:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetlyTwisted I've just ran out of Diet Coke, my favorite drink, what should I do? You have a couple of options actually . You can drink out of the toilet which is basicly just like diet coke except better for you . Or you can drink water and dump a bunch of aspartame in it , so you won't feel bad for leaving out the artificial sweetner that may one day the cause of a lovely cancerous growth . Am I being ignored or is it just My imagination ? What can I do to help either situation ( thinking I am ignored or being ignored ) .

WayWardSoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/13/2006 2:18:48 PM)
quote: I've just ran out of Diet Coke, my favorite drink, what should I do? Your best bet is to quit liking that nasty stuff, then it wont matter if you have run out or not. My lawn needs mowed once again, but I enjoy how it bugs my neighbor when I don't mow it. Should I just let it go another week?

SweetlyTwisted -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/13/2006 3:10:26 PM)
You should let it grow so mice will come visit your lovely home then when you mow, your visitors will go on vacation at your neighbors. Ok, I've run out of Diet Coke now and didn't care much for the past answers (lol), so can anyone tell me how to make IceTea?

Evanesce -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/13/2006 4:23:17 PM)
quote: Ok, I've run out of Diet Coke now and didn't care much for the past answers (lol), so can anyone tell me how to make IceTea? Go outside and pick a bunch of leaves. Any leaves, it doesn't matter. Make sure you get some good weeds in there, too. Come back inside and put them in the oven for about 35 hours. That should get 'em good and dry. Then crush the leaves. Cut up a pair of silk nylons to make teabags, and fill with the tea leaves. Tie the ends with rope and hang 'em in a pitcher of water for about an hour. Add about 3 cups of Sweet 'n Low. That should do it. I need to get creative with my meals. What's the best thing I can make with two vegetables, some fruit and a slice of bread?

SweetlyTwisted -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/13/2006 6:15:07 PM)
Soup Surprise Toast the bread, throw on your sandals and crush it into crumbs. Then toss crumbs and a pad of butter in a spare flower pot. While the crumbs are soaring in the butter, place the vegetables and fruit in a ziplock bag, beat them with a hammer. This is good anger management. Toss in pot with crumbs and butter. Add enough hot water to fill the pot. Stir and enjoy. I'm tired of washing dishes by hand and He won't buy me a dishwasher. I'm desperate for some really bad advice, help anyone?

JustaDom -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/13/2006 6:22:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetlyTwisted I'm tired of washing dishes by hand and He won't buy me a dishwasher. I'm desperate for some really bad advice, help anyone? I've had good success with a belt or orbital sander. Power tools are always your friend. Tomorrow I am getting my hair cut by a Mexican-American name Sully. Any advice on what type of haircut I should be going for? Joe

Daddysredhead -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/13/2006 6:25:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatNmouse2002 quote: ORIGINAL: SweetlyTwisted I've just ran out of Diet Coke, my favorite drink, what should I do? You have a couple of options actually . You can drink out of the toilet which is basicly just like diet coke except better for you . Or you can drink water and dump a bunch of aspartame in it , so you won't feel bad for leaving out the artificial sweetner that may one day the cause of a lovely cancerous growth . Am I being ignored or is it just My imagination ? What can I do to help either situation ( thinking I am ignored or being ignored ) . Dear Cat... it appears that you are being ignored. Light your feet and couch on fire and hope that the humping skunks at Gauge's place come over to visit you. Some post-coital skunks and the fire dept. are better than nothing. quote: ORIGINAL: SweetlyTwisted I'm tired of washing dishes by hand and He won't buy me a dishwasher. I'm desperate for some really bad advice, help anyone? Dear Twisted... use your feet. He might get inspired to make that purchase for you. [;)] I am getting tired of packing and throwing things out in preparation for my upcoming move. What should I do?

Daddysredhead -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/13/2006 6:27:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JustaDom Tomorrow I am getting my hair cut by a Mexican-American name Sully. Any advice on what type of haircut I should be going for? Go for a mullet. Someone named Sully probably is an expert with mullets. I am getting tired of packing and throwing things out in preparation for my upcoming move. What should I do?

nefertari -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/13/2006 6:36:23 PM)
Torch it all and buy all new. You can use the gasoline sprayer to get started. I'm hungry, but don't know what I want to eat. Any suggestions?

Evanesce -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/13/2006 8:37:39 PM)
Go to the grocery store and walk every aisle. Open random packages and sample the contents, then put the package back on the shelf. By the time you get through the store, you'll no longer be hungry. My cat keeps wanting to sleep on my mousepad, instead of the "kitty cubby" I have designated for felines on my desk, even when I put catnip in there. How can I make him go to his spot and stay off my mousepad and mouse?

nefertari -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/13/2006 9:57:15 PM)
Buy a large, growling dog and put it on the mouse pad. Cat will stay away. I brought work home this weekend, but didn't work on any of it. What do I tell my boss tomorrow?

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