RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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Morpheus07 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/2/2006 4:10:18 PM)
Uhhmm, hip waders & a football helmet. My eyes are bleeding, should I go to the doctor?

gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/2/2006 4:18:45 PM)
Nah, wait a few hours and see if it gets worse. If you can't see, it didn't get worse. People are scared of me, and not in the good way. What should I do? Yours, benji

Morpheus07 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/2/2006 4:22:13 PM)
Take yourself to the vet and get yourself fixed. That will teach poochie to stop humping everyones legs and sniffing crotches. Where has all the childlike wonderment gone?

Evanesce -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/2/2006 7:53:10 PM)
quote: Where has all the childlike wonderment gone? Sorry, I can't advise you on that one. I'm off looking at the world (and the forums) in childlike wonderment. I've been taking piano lessons for a little over a year now, and I still suck. My instructor, however, seems to think I've got this huge talent that I just can't see. How can I get more out of my practice sessions so I can hear whatever it is that she's hearing?

cacodylic -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/2/2006 8:05:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Morpheus07 Where has all the childlike wonderment gone? It was beaten out of me...

WayWardSoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/2/2006 8:12:49 PM)
quote: I've been taking piano lessons for a little over a year now, and I still suck. My instructor, however, seems to think I've got this huge talent that I just can't see. How can I get more out of my practice sessions so I can hear whatever it is that she's hearing? You can't, the instructor knows this is the way to keep you paying for lessons. Go out a Misic store in the nearest mall and start playing. then ask everyone that passes by what they think. Then you will know where you stand as a piano player. I started this, I hate everyone cult, membership is growing fast. What is the best way to brain wash my new members into turning all there assets over to me?

Sasy -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/2/2006 8:17:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Evanesce I've been taking piano lessons for a little over a year now, and I still suck. My instructor, however, seems to think I've got this huge talent that I just can't see. How can I get more out of my practice sessions so I can hear whatever it is that she's hearing? I took piano when I was young ... Catholic nun with a ruler taught me ... It was NEVER fun ... Maybe it will take just learning to enjoy playing whether bad or good. I know wth somethings I excell at it more because I enjoy what I am doing * just a thought*

Evanesce -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/2/2006 8:32:57 PM)
quote: I started this, I hate everyone cult, membership is growing fast. What is the best way to brain wash my new members into turning all there assets over to me? Buy 500 extra large capacity washing machines. Put two members in each one, along with 84 cups of Tide with bleach. Set on "heavy" cycle. This should clean their brains well enough that they'll gratefully hand over everything they own - and a few things they don't. I don't know what a "Misic" store is. Can someone define it for me?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/2/2006 9:19:28 PM)
quote: I don't know what a "Misic" store is. Can someone define it for me? Misic: What they play at the concert when you aren't there. I am not sure, but I think I have discovered gold where I live. The bad part is that I live in an apartment. How can I mine the gold without arousing anyone's suspicions?

SweetlyTwisted -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/2/2006 9:20:44 PM)
"Misic" store is an old age Barbaric term which is translated in the 21 century as "Makes you sick". You can still order assorted highly toxic vomits from this unique historical era. Buy one now at www.getsickquick.com What's the best way to remove puppy poopoo from your shoe?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/2/2006 9:38:51 PM)
quote: What's the best way to remove puppy poopoo from your shoe? Find the owner of the puppy that did the deed and rub your shoes in their hair until they are clean. I am not sure, but I think I have discovered gold where I live. The bad part is that I live in an apartment. How can I mine the gold without arousing anyone's suspicions?

LaMalinche -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/2/2006 11:30:22 PM)
Make all of the other tenents in the apartment complex do the mining. Make sure that you have them sign seven year contracts, and offer them, not only a new pick-axe every year as well as their choice of value meal from McDonald's (super-sized of course) and in the middle year, give them the bonus of two trips to McDonald's. This will ensure that no one notices what you are doing. People enter into these kinds of contracts all the time. I want to go out and play in the rain, but it is dark and I am afraid that I will slip and fall and become unconscious and then I will not be found until morning. How can I solve this dilema?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/3/2006 7:43:27 AM)
quote: I want to go out and play in the rain, but it is dark and I am afraid that I will slip and fall and become unconscious and then I will not be found until morning. How can I solve this dilema? Super glue yourself to me and I will make sure that if you do slip and fall and are subsequently knocked out that I will drag you home and call someone so they find you. I need to clean my refrigerator... the bad thing is that when I open the door I see eyes peering back out at me. Is it safe to reach my hands in there or should I just put this off until they go away?

Evanesce -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/3/2006 7:48:46 AM)
quote: I need to clean my refrigerator... the bad thing is that when I open the door I see eyes peering back out at me. Is it safe to reach my hands in there or should I just put this off until they go away? Oh, it's perfectly safe. However, if they make you nervous, just blindfold 'em. Forget about the 180-lb hairy thing with venomous 5" claws they're attached to. It's harmless. I need to get busy around here today, but I seem to be lacking motivation. What should I do to get myself energized enough to get the housework done?

WayWardSoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/3/2006 8:59:05 AM)
quote: I need to get busy around here today, but I seem to be lacking motivation. What should I do to get myself energized enough to get the housework done? What you should do is unscrew a lightblub and stick your finger in the socket while it is on. Then every time you start running low on energy You can repeat this until all your tasks are complete. I spelled the word music wrong when I was giving really bad advice and spelled it misic. It made people laugh and make fun of me. I don't mind that, I think everyone needs to laugh, but all the people laughing and making comments on it made me laugh. Now that I laughed at myself for spelling the word music wrong. It has cuased me to have low self- esteem. What can I do to raise my self-esteem?

chantrea -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/3/2006 9:28:10 AM)
Follow your own advice, stick a finger in a light socket or electrical outlet. This will not only prove to be a shockingly good time, but will raise your energy level. This point will be proven when you notice you are laying twenty feet away and not sure how you got there. i've felt bad for two days due to the normal hormonal reasons. What is the best course of action to prevent this from occurring next month?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/3/2006 11:41:37 AM)
quote: i've felt bad for two days due to the normal hormonal reasons. What is the best course of action to prevent this from occurring next month? Spontaneously change sex to a male. If that doesn't work... death is an option. WayWardSoul is spelin chellangeded. Eye whanna help butt eye doughnut no how two help him. Aknee sugjestiuns?

chantrea -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/3/2006 12:09:08 PM)
Hooked on Phonics werked fur me! i'm really annoyed with all this trouble with yim.... suggestions?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/3/2006 10:04:46 PM)
quote: i'm really annoyed with all this trouble with yim.... suggestions? Yes... I have several... but sadly most of them have to do with a large tarp, some knitting needles and yarn, a small yet ferocious gopher, a gallon of vegetable oil, two pounds of chipped smoked turkey from a New York deli and a small tin of anchovies. I think my brain is out to lunch. How can I prove this without cracking open my skull and feeling around?

Evanesce -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (8/3/2006 10:50:01 PM)
quote: I think my brain is out to lunch. How can I prove this without cracking open my skull and feeling around? Take two mirrors and hold one in each hand at arm's length from your ears. If you glance to one side or the other and see, in the mirror, a hand holding a mirror, then your brain is out to lunch. I just did this and saw the hand holding the mirror in the mirror. What should I do?

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