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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/8/2006 10:31:54 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Stay up all night and all day for at least 24, preferably 36 hours.
That way you will be able to sleep anywhere at anytime.
 
We are having Pride in the Plaza here tomorrow and there is
a drag queen contest.  Since I am female, can I be a contestant?


quote:

ORIGINAL: WayWardSoul

Starting next week I got to start getting up in the morning to be someplace, but I'n not used to getting up in the mornings. How should I get myself used to getting up in the morning?


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to WayWardSoul)
Profile   Post #: 1341
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/8/2006 10:32:56 PM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		Go to your doctor and get a prescription for Ritialan, while you are at the pharmacy waiting for the script to be filled, buy one of those pill crushers.  When you get home, crush the Ritalan and then snort it whenever you are feeling tired.  This will help you stay awake and be able to concentrate.  And hey, if you have insurance, it is even cheaper than cocaine.

My Cuban boss gave me a cigar tonight (he smokes them all the time).  I am wondering if it would be more polite to smoke it at work which would annoy my co-worker, or should I wait until I get home and irritate my non-smoking roommate? 



*ooops, did not get this submitted quite fast enough*


< Message edited by LaMalinche -- 7/8/2006 10:33:53 PM >

_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to WayWardSoul)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/8/2006 10:36:08 PM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		We are having Pride in the Plaza here tomorrow and there is
a drag queen contest.  Since I am female, can I be a contestant?


Sure, why not. . . you will probably win also, especially if you use a well placed pair of socks.  One pair mind you, and only one pair. 


What is the best way to attract a sugar daddy so I no longer have to work on Saturday nights?



_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 1343
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/8/2006 10:47:20 PM   
litleone8620


Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline 		Dye your hair an unnatural shade of blonde, tease it up really high, put on a Wonder Bra, some skin tight outfit, and Fuck-me heels/boots, then go to the country clubs (that's where the rich ones are); the best sugra daddies are married, so look for rings on their fingers. The rest is up to you.

how do i get grass stains out of clothes?

(in reply to LaMalinche)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/8/2006 10:58:25 PM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		how do i get grass stains out of clothes?

Why bother even trying?  Just get some green Rit dye and dye all of your clothes the color of grass, then you will never have to worry about it again.  This will also cut down on your time in the morning getting dressed as you will not have to worry about matching shades of clothing.  Another plus is that wearing all the same shade of color makes you look taller.  So, you can now be a giant cactus that does not take long to get ready in the morning.  Problems solved!


What is the best way to make the phones at work stop ringing?



_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to litleone8620)
Profile   Post #: 1345
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/9/2006 6:30:17 AM   
SohCahToa


Posts: 563
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline 		Answer the phones in a husky voice claiming to be Gerry Springer and offer them phone sex.

When ever a light bulb goes in my house the circuit breaker is triggered sending the house into total darkness how can I fix this without having to pay loads of money to electricians?

_____________________________

ڪ০મ໒คमՇՕΔ
- Pax vobiscum -

"Come ride with me through the veins of history. I'll show you a God who falls asleep on the job." - Muse

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 1346
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/9/2006 7:48:44 AM   
DarkSideOfThMoon


Posts: 117
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline 		Use candles - if you pile wood in the corners of your rooms and light that, it will give off more light. Any water near by may put you into total darkness again, so don't have any.

My big toe hurts, how do I find out what's wrong with it?

(in reply to SohCahToa)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/9/2006 12:23:50 PM   
HouseofBear


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline 		Have it amputated and sent in to the lab pathologist.  They should be able to tell you what is wrong with it.  It should also take care of the problem with pain in your toe.


We are trying to come up with an inexpensive yet attractive means of putting in new flooring in  the bathroom.  Any suggestions?

(in reply to DarkSideOfThMoon)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/9/2006 11:36:17 PM   
WayWardSoul


Posts: 869
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		Find out when your neighbors are going on vacation ( one that has a floor you like). Then tell them you'll be happy to watch over their house while there gone. Once they leave go over and take up their bathroom floor and replace it with yours, then take theres and use it for yours.
 
A lightbulb burned out in my bathroom, so I replaced the bulb. but it still didn't light up on that side of the fixture. How can I make that side work without replacing the whole thing?

(in reply to HouseofBear)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/9/2006 11:40:21 PM   
litleone8620


Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline 		Simple: rip out the entire thing, and build a new one, doing your own electrical work. Oh, and don't forget to touch as many open wires as you can.

How do i get my dog to stop snoring?

(in reply to WayWardSoul)
Profile   Post #: 1350
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/10/2006 1:17:41 AM   
SavageFaerie


Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Gives another answer since WWS went to the complaint thread that litleones answer was just not good enough.

Thats easy, break the other side then take your christmas lights and string them around your bathroom and set the blinking speed to high.

omits next question since litle still doesnt have her answer

edited just cuz

< Message edited by SavageFaerie -- 7/10/2006 1:18:51 AM >

(in reply to WayWardSoul)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/10/2006 6:23:49 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

How do i get my dog to stop snoring?



cover the dog's head with lots of that nice bubble wrap stuff and tape it up real good.  I reckon this will act as a muffler for his snoring but it may also turn your dog blue maybe.... maybe use this if you don't like the dog too much...smiles

ok so now my problem is that I was at work coughing and sneezing over all of my clients and I am worrying they may sue me or something for giving them the flu (my clients are mean like that) should I wear something to prevent them getting my germs?

(in reply to litleone8620)
Profile   Post #: 1352
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/10/2006 9:58:34 PM   
WayWardSoul


Posts: 869
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		Yes you should wear a face shield http://www.grainger.com/production/info/granger-industrial-supply.htm and here is a link where you can get one. They have a clear faceshield so you will be able to see and it folds up and out of your face when you don't need it there. You never know you might even start a new fashion trend for the sick.

My hair has got pretty long ( the front hangs past my chin) and I would like to get it cut. But I never like it after it has been cut and feel I wasted my money. What can I do to get a haircut I like?

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 1353
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/11/2006 11:08:41 PM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WayWardSoul

My hair has got pretty long ( the front hangs past my chin) and I would like to get it cut. But I never like it after it has been cut and feel I wasted my money. What can I do to get a haircut I like?


The trick to having a really good haircut that you will like is to make sure that it matches your face.
step 1. get really drunk with a friend and get them to cut your hair, get them to use a soup bowl to make sure they cut it evenly... voila, free haircut!
step 2. see a plastic surgeon and have your face remodelled to match your hairstyle ... I am sure you agree with me that plastic surgery can never be a waste of money!

I am about to head to the gym for my six monthly workout to make me feel kind of healthy, how do I attract the attention of the cute guys there given that I am usually too out of breath to charm them with my wit and am soaked in sweat?

(in reply to WayWardSoul)
Profile   Post #: 1354
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/11/2006 11:13:16 PM   
Sasy


Posts: 1387
Joined: 7/5/2004
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

How do i get my dog to stop snoring?




Heck with  the snoring it is the the dog farting I can't take ...  tho I  do  blame it on him  being male

(in reply to litleone8620)
Profile   Post #: 1355
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/12/2006 12:00:42 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Wear a skin-tight work-out leotard and tights.  Be sure to act
dumb, ditzy and rather clumsy.  Ask stupid questions and
pretend to be a helpless little female.  Score extra points if
you have your hair up in a sideways ponytail and chew
bubble gum at the same time.
 
How do I keep the construction workers from waking Me from
peaceful slumber at 6am with all the rackett from them breaking
up the concrete with sledgehammers?


quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone
I am about to head to the gym for my six monthly workout to make me feel kind of healthy, how do I attract the attention of the cute guys there given that I am usually too out of breath to charm them with my wit and am soaked in sweat?


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 1356
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/12/2006 12:04:28 AM   
WayWardSoul


Posts: 869
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I am about to head to the gym for my six monthly workout to make me feel kind of healthy, how do I attract the attention of the cute guys there given that I am usually too out of breath to charm them with my wit and am soaked in sweat? 


What you need to do is get some kite string, cut a piece about 2 inches (5cm) long and sew it to one side of the crotch of your work out suit. So it hangs down between your legs. You will have more attention then you know what to do with in no time at all.

edited because I was to slow but will leave my answer because I thought it was good. 

< Message edited by WayWardSoul -- 7/12/2006 12:07:02 AM >

(in reply to Sasy)
Profile   Post #: 1357
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/12/2006 7:40:38 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval


How do I keep the construction workers from waking Me from
peaceful slumber at 6am with all the rackett from them breaking
up the concrete with sledgehammers?


Wake up at 5am, sneak out of your house with your arms stuffed with pillows, and tie the pillows to each jackhammer you see and also glue them on top of the concrete.  The jackhammers should resemble weird looking marshmallow men when done. Do the same to the construction workers, well in fact one well placed pillow and voila...night night mr construction man ..... evil wicked laugh here.
 
ps. thanks also to Vendaval and WWS, I will use both of your great ideas tomorrow and I can't wait to see all the attention I get...woooohooooo.
 
Now my dilemma, I have already worn my two favourite jumpers to work this week so now I don't know what to wear tomorrow or friday?

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 1358
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/12/2006 1:47:28 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Now my dilemma, I have already worn my two favourite jumpers to work this week so now I don't know what to wear tomorrow or friday?


Nothing says 'the weekend is coming' like a Roman toga.


My stress levels are way out of control. I have been trying to cope with so much lately but I am not sure I can take much more. How can I cope with stress in a productive and healthy way?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 1359
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/12/2006 4:26:20 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My stress levels are way out of control. I have been trying to cope with so much lately but I am not sure I can take much more. How can I cope with stress in a productive and healthy way?


Have someone mummify you, except for your naughty bits, and then spend 17 hours and 41 minutes teasing, tormenting and spanking you.  When they finally let you out, you'll be too tired to be stressed, and they'll have gotten a good workout, so it's both productive AND healthy!
 
I'm on vacation alone for the next two days until Master gets home for His vacation.  What should I do?

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1360
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