Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice Page: <<   < prev  65 66 [67] 68 69   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2006 7:47:10 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Show up wearing your casual weekend clothes and have a
rambling conversation about the meaning of life.
 
I need to drive a long distance in the fog today. Any advice?

quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone
I have my yearly performance appraisal tomorrow, any ideas of how I can highlight my many underachievements this past year in a positive way?


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 1321
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2006 9:03:35 AM   
ArtimisBlack


Posts: 154
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		Don't drive with your headlights on or go slower then 45 miles per hour. This will cause the fog to magically part before you granting clear vision for the entire trip.
 
My boyfriend changes his mind about everything. How can I get him to stop?
 

_____________________________

I wanted to put in my 2 cents but I only have a dollar. Do you have change?

The pain is free. Do not pick the scab.

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 1322
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2006 11:03:12 AM   
WayWardSoul


Posts: 869
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		Take him in for an lobotomy.


My neighbors want me to mow my yard more but i hate to mow, what should I do to stop there complaining?

(in reply to ArtimisBlack)
Profile   Post #: 1323
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2006 1:08:56 PM   
SohCahToa


Posts: 563
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline 		Tell your neighbours to get on their knees and eat your grass themselves like the cows they are.

I’m addicted to going into the confession box thingy and saying stuff I haven’t actually done for fun and I’m not even catholic. How can I stop this gross wasting of time?

_____________________________

ڪ০મ໒คमՇՕΔ
- Pax vobiscum -

"Come ride with me through the veins of history. I'll show you a God who falls asleep on the job." - Muse

(in reply to WayWardSoul)
Profile   Post #: 1324
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2006 5:09:29 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Become Catholic, but a really bad one, who never goes to confession.

I have to prepare to move in the next month and a half, but I hate sorting through stuff and packing.  What should I do?

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to SohCahToa)
Profile   Post #: 1325
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2006 8:17:17 PM   
jojoluvr


Posts: 441
Joined: 4/10/2006
Status: offline 		set your house on fire and buy new stuff with the insurance money

my apartments don't offer paper recycling and i have tons of catalogs that i can't bear to put in the landfills.  what should i do with them?

_____________________________

jojo




(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 1326
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2006 8:30:55 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

my apartments don't offer paper recycling and i have tons of catalogs that i can't bear to put in the landfills.  what should i do with them?


Shred them and use 'em to make molded papier mache replicas of miscellaneous body parts.  Paint them and sell 'em on eBay.
 
I have to take my cat to the vet, and he's really starting to hate this vet.  How can I calm him down before he goes in?

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to jojoluvr)
Profile   Post #: 1327
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2006 8:33:34 PM   
missgiveNTake


Posts: 673
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		Get him drunk first. He will love the vet then.

I hate my long toes. What can I do about them?

< Message edited by missgiveNTake -- 7/5/2006 8:35:04 PM >

_____________________________

I am a very good girl, very good at all I do.

Highly intelligent with a generous pinch of the absurd! (Thank you Crouchingtigress)

(in reply to jojoluvr)
Profile   Post #: 1328
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2006 9:06:04 PM   
WayWardSoul


Posts: 869
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		Go outside my house and fire up my lawn mower and when your done mowing my lawn stick your feet under it and cut them off.

I haven't ate today and there isn't any thing here i want to eat what should i do about it?

(in reply to missgiveNTake)
Profile   Post #: 1329
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2006 9:11:12 PM   
missgiveNTake


Posts: 673
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		I'm sure you can find something in the trash that is edible, just stick it in the microwave for 10 min to kill any germs on it and it'll be great.

My landlord takes forever to fix things, how can I hurry him up?

_____________________________

I am a very good girl, very good at all I do.

Highly intelligent with a generous pinch of the absurd! (Thank you Crouchingtigress)

(in reply to WayWardSoul)
Profile   Post #: 1330
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2006 10:38:46 PM   
WayWardSoul


Posts: 869
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		Get a cattle prod and use it on him when you feel he isn't doing things fast enough.

Birds are flying over my truck while it sits in my driveway and crapping on it and this is really bad for the paint much less pisses me off  how should i stop them?

< Message edited by WayWardSoul -- 7/5/2006 10:40:10 PM >

(in reply to missgiveNTake)
Profile   Post #: 1331
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/5/2006 11:01:21 PM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		SillyWayWardSoul. . . you cannot stop birds from doing that.  What you need to realize is that you have a less than optimal parking site for your truck.  You love your truck and your truck loves you.  In this case, you need to create a "truckie door" much like a "doggie-door" and bring your truck into your house with you.  What kind of a mean SOB are you that you leave your loving truckie out in the street all by its lonesome.  Take your truck down to Home Depot and get a saw and the other tools you will need.  Trust me, you will start a new trend in "truckie-doors" adn probably make a million. 

I have to give a urine sample at work tomarrow, and I am wondering if it would be okay to eat copious amounts of red food coloring before hand to discourage this type of nonsense. 



_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to WayWardSoul)
Profile   Post #: 1332
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/6/2006 12:02:39 AM   
WayWardSoul


Posts: 869
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		No don't do it with red a better option would be use blue so it matchs the water in the toilet, then when you bring it out and they think you used toilet water tell them to give you a new cup, then squat right there and fill it up for them. I wish i would of thought about this monday when I had to take mine.

I've cut this truckir-door in my house and drove my truck in but it fell through the floor how should I get it back out?


(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 1333
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/7/2006 7:52:28 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Hit reverse gear.  Failing that, use a forklift.
 
How do I switch the boy from caffeinated to de-caffeinated
coffee without his finding out?



quote:

ORIGINAL: WayWardSoul
I've cut this truckir-door in my house and drove my truck in but it fell through the floor how should I get it back out?


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to WayWardSoul)
Profile   Post #: 1334
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/8/2006 2:11:53 AM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		How do I switch the boy from caffeinated to de-caffeinated
coffee without his finding out?


Add valium to his coffee, that way even if he finds out he will not care.  Also, he will be much calmer the next time that you pull out the nails and butterfly board when you want to 'play'.


My co-worker thinks that I am a snooze button and keeps smacking me on the top of my head when I wake her up when she falls asleep at her desk.  How do I stop this?



_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 1335
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/8/2006 4:28:10 AM   
SohCahToa


Posts: 563
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline 		We all know the purpose of office chairs with wheels it is so you can move people who are sleeping into the elevator and send them to the ground floor or to the boss’s office. It may be advisable to wear a hardhat whilst transporting her though.

My problem is this: I get on a train at the position that suits the exit to the station at the end of my journey. There is also another exit in the station further down the track but sometimes it is not open. It would be nice if I could walk through this exit as it would suit the place where I park my car better. How can I know when to get on the train at the position that suits the exit in the station that suits where I park my car?

_____________________________

ڪ০મ໒คमՇՕΔ
- Pax vobiscum -

"Come ride with me through the veins of history. I'll show you a God who falls asleep on the job." - Muse

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 1336
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/8/2006 8:01:22 PM   
SavageFaerie


Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Check you parking meter before you enter the station, the arrow should indicate which direction to go.

My birthday is tomorrow and I have no one to give me birthday spankings. What should I do?

(in reply to SohCahToa)
Profile   Post #: 1337
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/8/2006 8:14:30 PM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		Just go up to random people on the street and tell them that it is your birthday, and will they be willing to service  . . . urm. . . I mean. . . spank you for your birthday.  The other option is to throw yourself a birthday party and then jump in different peoples' laps and announce, "I've been a baaaaaaaaaaaaad girl." 

Well. . . I wheeled my co-worker out of the office, but we do not have an elevator.  Should I just leave her in the parking lot?



_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to SavageFaerie)
Profile   Post #: 1338
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/8/2006 8:29:20 PM   
SavageFaerie


Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline 		I would say leave her by the street with a sign that says " Will Word for Food"


I live on a dead in road in the middle of no where and I'm home alone. Now what should I do?

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 1339
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/8/2006 10:01:25 PM   
WayWardSoul


Posts: 869
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		Go to where the road ends and dig a hole 6' deep X 3' wide X 6' long (I don't think your taller then this) get in the hole and cover your self with the dirt. In no time you will have a bunch of worms for friends to keep you company.


Starting next week I got to start getting up in the morning to be someplace, but I'n not used to getting up in the mornings. How should I get myself used to getting up in the morning?

(in reply to SavageFaerie)
Profile   Post #: 1340
Page:   <<   < prev  65 66 [67] 68 69   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice Page: <<   < prev  65 66 [67] 68 69   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.156