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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/17/2006 11:29:44 PM   
VandalHeart


Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline 		Tell him to push his car wherever it is that he needs to go so badly

I'm almost out of cigarettes and completely out of money...what to do?!?

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 1381
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/18/2006 8:41:27 PM   
HouseofBear


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline 		Go hand outside the local gas station and panhandle, cashiers and owners of stores just love this.


I would really love to retire now with enough money to remodel my home te way I wish and to travel the world.  Any suggestions on how to do this?

(in reply to VandalHeart)
Profile   Post #: 1382
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/19/2006 9:07:56 PM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		Sell nude photos of yourself on E-Bay.

I am bored, how do I cure this?

_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to HouseofBear)
Profile   Post #: 1383
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/19/2006 9:52:29 PM   
HouseofBear


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline 		Sell nude photos of yourself on Ebay in a submissive pose, include your email addy on the back, chuckles.  Dealing with the responses should keep you busy for a while.

Benji sprayed all over my new wood deck.  How do we get the urine smell out?

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 1384
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/19/2006 10:48:28 PM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		Make some homemade napalm, and cover your deck with it, then light a map.  This will get rid of the urine smell.  "I love the smell of Napalm in the morning."


The same idiot keeps emailing me with the same one-line question.  If I get his address from him what should I do to him?



_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to HouseofBear)
Profile   Post #: 1385
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/20/2006 4:02:34 AM   
WayWardSoul


Posts: 869
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

The same idiot keeps emailing me with the same one-line question.  If I get his address from him what should I do to him?


Come see me in a submissive pose to be flogged for not just blocking him.

I got to go out and be in the heat again today what should I do to stat cool.

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 1386
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/20/2006 9:29:20 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I got to go out and be in the heat again today what should I do to stat cool.


Since I have already addressed this question in a previous post, I will try to give a different answer. You know how a hot beverage warms you on a cold day and a cold beverage cools you on a hot day? Well... before you go out into the heat, eat about 12 gallons of ice cream. You must do this very quickly so the ice cream will remain frozen inside of you. Then walk outside and face the heat with a big smile!


I need something entertaining to do to keep my mind off of a problem. Any suggestions?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to WayWardSoul)
Profile   Post #: 1387
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/20/2006 9:38:33 AM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I need something entertaining to do to keep my mind off of a problem. Any suggestions?


Go buy a very large parrot.  Teach said parrot to lift and swing a cane.  They can do this.  Then invite all the submissives you know to come over and be caned by the bird.  Build a website, take pics and set up a live web cam.  Call it Tweet Kink.  Someone, somewhere will have a fetish for this, and you'll make lots of money.
 
The plumber just shut off all the water to my house and I want to wash my hands.  What do I do?

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1388
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/20/2006 1:28:50 PM   
WayWardSoul


Posts: 869
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		Go in your bathroom and lift the lid off the back of the toilet, you will find plenty of water in there to wash your hands.

I need to wash and wax my truck but don't have a slave to give the task to what should I do?

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 1389
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/20/2006 3:06:00 PM   
sleazybutterfly


Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		oops.. wrong thread...me bad...

< Message edited by sleazybutterfly -- 7/20/2006 3:36:33 PM >

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to WayWardSoul)
Profile   Post #: 1390
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/20/2006 7:39:13 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I need to wash and wax my truck but don't have a slave to give the task to what should I do?


One reason that you do not have a slave is that your car isn't all shiny and pretty. Women like shiny and pretty things. Look at Ben Afleck. The quick answer is to make the chore of waxing your car simple and entertaining and fun. Gather up all the cats you can put into a large box. Then take one cat and roll him around in car wax and place him on the top of your car. He will try to get off, but will slip and slide all over thus distributing the wax over the car. Do this until the car is coated with wax. Then, take the final cat and tie it's paws together and attach him to an electric drill. Then you can buff the car with the last cat. Be sure the last cat hasn't eaten in a while so he doesn't puke all over the car.


I just gave advice that may bring harm to several kitties. I don't want anyone to get upset at me. I love kitties... I really do. I am just trying to help a fellow BDSMer out. I fear others might not see it that way... what shall I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to WayWardSoul)
Profile   Post #: 1391
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/20/2006 7:49:02 PM   
sleazybutterfly


Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		Actually, I get the feeling you are quite fond of pussies and would never, ever hurt them.  I am keeping PETA on speed-dial just in case though.

 
I have to go out tomorrow..and it's really, really hot....how can I avoid having to shave my legs??? (for shorts)

< Message edited by sleazybutterfly -- 7/20/2006 7:52:54 PM >

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1392
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/21/2006 8:35:17 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Make an appointment at a salon for a full body waxing.  That way
you will be bare all over and able to wear as little as possible.
 
I want to apply some sun-less tanning lotion but cannot reach My
own back.  What should I do?

quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly
I have to go out tomorrow..and it's really, really hot....how can I avoid having to shave my legs??? (for shorts)


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 1393
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/21/2006 9:01:11 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I want to apply some sun-less tanning lotion but cannot reach My
own back.  What should I do?


Master knows just how to do this.  Put on a halter top and go to an amusement park.  Take your sunless tanning lotion with you.  Find a looping rollercoaster and get on.  As the ride starts, open the bottle.  When the train gets to the top of the loop, squeeze the lotion from the bottle.  It'll land on your back when you hit the bottom of the loop.  If you miss and hit someone else's back, do it again until your own back is covered.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 1394
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/22/2006 10:03:27 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		OK, it won't let me edit, and I forgot to put in my question.  What's the best way to get my post edited?



_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 1395
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/22/2006 10:13:34 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline 		Evanesce... You have now joined the ranks with mnottertail... you didn't post a question. For shame.


I need a digital camera but I cannot afford the price of a new one. How can I get a digital camera without paying a fortune?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 1396
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/22/2006 10:14:43 PM   
WayWardSoul


Posts: 869
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		Do it before the edit timer runs out.

When a sub keeps nagging whats the best way to get them to stop?

_____________________________

WWS

You look like two miles of bad road ~Foghorn Leghorn~

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 1397
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/23/2006 9:02:14 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

When a sub keeps nagging whats the best way to get them to stop?


This has a simple solution. Glue their lips shut.

I need a digital camera but I cannot afford the price of a new one. How can I get a digital camera without paying a fortune?


_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to WayWardSoul)
Profile   Post #: 1398
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/23/2006 9:03:55 AM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Evanesce... You have now joined the ranks with mnottertail... you didn't post a question. For shame.


I posted a question!  See #1395.  (and it still won't let me edit!)
 
Now that I've been accused of failing to post a question, how can I get back into Gauge's good graces?

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to WayWardSoul)
Profile   Post #: 1399
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/23/2006 9:07:31 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
I need a digital camera but I cannot afford the price of a new one. How can I get a digital camera without paying a fortune?


Turn pro-Dom and demand one as tribute!

Far too many of the young lovelys that seem suitable for my second collar are in other countrys and/or already collared....

Edit:

quote:

Evanesce... You have now joined the ranks with mnottertail... you didn't post a question. For shame.

Now that I've been accused of failing to post a question, how can I get back into Gauge's good graces?

Buy him a digital camera!


< Message edited by RavenMuse -- 7/23/2006 9:09:00 AM >

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1400
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