RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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Dragonskiss72 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/15/2007 5:10:44 PM)

ebay.  u can get all kinds of crap there.

my house is filled with crap I've bought from ebay. It's 3.5 weeks til payday and I have no money to pay bills or buy food.  how can I remedy this situation?



goodlittlegirl28 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/15/2007 5:12:38 PM)

good lord, don't get rid of anything, sell your body!

my skin gets so dry in winter. how can i prevent this?



Dragonskiss72 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/15/2007 5:15:39 PM)

sit in the bath all day.  just keep topping up the water.


I'm looking abit like moby prune - how can I get that shrivelled look out of my skin?  Also My arse is stuck to the rubber bath mat as I put it in wrong side up.



RobertCloud -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/15/2007 5:54:19 PM)

Stand in front of an electric heater and it will dry those shriveled prune wrinkles right up..


That bath mat has melted to my ass, and my skin is so dry it is now cracking and sores are forming, what should I do?



QuietlySeeking -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/15/2007 6:24:18 PM)

Get the wire brush from your gas grill and scrape it off.

I just sat on the grill naked....how long until I'm medium-rare?



CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/15/2007 6:34:40 PM)

Until you lose sensation in that area from dead nerves.

Hannibal Lector wants to eat the grilled parts of QuietlySeeking. Can we save him?



Dragonskiss72 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/16/2007 2:24:09 PM)

we don't, we just provide nice wine.

I've run out of nice wine to give to the psycho who wants to eat quietlyseeking.  Do I go to the store or offer vodka?



LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/17/2007 2:40:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dragonskiss72

I've run out of nice wine to give to the psycho who wants to eat quietlyseeking.  Do I go to the store or offer vodka?


Offer the vodka, and make sure you drink plenty yourself; it will give you more flavour for when quietlyseeking is all gone, and Hannibal is still hungry.

Whats the best brand of vodka for the main course to drink, for that special cannibal dinner party?

E



Bearlee -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/17/2007 2:45:48 PM)

What...no Chianti?



RobertCloud -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/21/2007 9:15:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dragonskiss72

I've run out of nice wine to give to the psycho who wants to eat quietlyseeking.  Do I go to the store or offer vodka?


Offer the vodka, and make sure you drink plenty yourself; it will give you more flavour for when quietlyseeking is all gone, and Hannibal is still hungry.

Whats the best brand of vodka for the main course to drink, for that special cannibal dinner party?

E


Absolute... because you want to be absolutely drunk when Hannibal starts eyeing you as the second course.

Help! The Absolute is gone and I am running around the table trying to avoid Hannibal. I don't want to be a second course. What do I do?



CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/21/2007 6:57:47 PM)

Pass out and hope Lector doesn't like his food pre-marinated in alcohol.

These Hannibal Lector questions are making my sandwich sit uncomfortably in my stomach, even though I started it. Can we change the subject?!



goodlittlegirl28 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/22/2007 10:52:29 AM)

you know, the best thing to aid digestion is swimming immediately after eating.

i'm tired. and when i'm tired i hiccup. how do you get rid of those?



RobertCloud -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/22/2007 11:12:47 AM)

Try standing upside down in the bathtub, works for me everytime.

=========

glug.... glug.... glug.... I'm drowning and still hiccupping... what do I do?



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/22/2007 12:39:28 PM)

quote:

glug.... glug.... glug.... I'm drowning and still hiccupping... what do I do?


Well, they say if you drink a glass of water it should cure your hiccups.

They say getting scared out of them works too... so watch George W. Bush give the State of the Union address. If that doesn't scare you, I don't know what will.

It is too dark in my room and I am struggling to see the keyboard. What can I do without getting up from my chair because I am too lazy right now?



Mercnbeth -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/22/2007 12:56:34 PM)

quote:

It is too dark in my room and I am struggling to see the keyboard. What can I do without getting up from my chair because I am too lazy right now?


Light a fire in your trash bin, work by its light until the firemen get there. When they break down your door ask them to turn on the light for you.

Now that they are considering making spanking illegal in CA for anyone over 4, how should I discipline beth if she disobeys without breaking the law?



bearincuffs -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/22/2007 1:54:35 PM)

 Keep spanking, if you get caught just tell then you thought CA was short form for Canada and that 's where you thought you are living.
 
 
What is the best way to eat popcorn?



RobertCloud -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/22/2007 7:40:53 PM)

With your fingers... and lots of salt and butter...
===============================

Help... now bearincuffs has his fingers stuck in his throat and so much butter is covering him that I cannot get a grip on him to pull his hand out of his mouth.. he is turning blue... What should I do?



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/22/2007 9:22:50 PM)

quote:

Help... now bearincuffs has his fingers stuck in his throat and so much butter is covering him that I cannot get a grip on him to pull his hand out of his mouth.. he is turning blue... What should I do?


Sever his hand and make him swallow it. You might want to give him a spoonful of sugar to help make the hand go down.

I am really sick and twisted and I am thinking that maybe... just maybe I should be incarcerated for the remainder of my life so I do not do grievous bodily harm to someone. Is there another way to rid myself of these violent flashes?



subgrace -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/22/2007 9:57:52 PM)

Ummm, start a how to magazine for kids who need to let off a little steam? 



deadbluebird -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/23/2007 12:40:49 AM)

i think you should rid these violent flashes by doing whatever it is that comes to mind. its best to physically do something rather than just mentally picture yourself doing it.

i feel uncomfortable in my own skin.. what should i do?



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