RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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goodlittlegirl28 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/13/2007 11:27:10 AM)

insert vibe, put on panties, and get stock in duracel. eventually you'll fall asleep at the first sign of arousal.

no matter how often i do laundry, there it is, piling up again. any ideas?




LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/13/2007 11:30:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: goodlittlegirl28
no matter how often i do laundry, there it is, piling up again. any ideas?




Burn all your clothes, apart from what youre wearing. No laundry to pile up.

I only have the clothes I'm wearing and they need washing, but its far too cold to take them off. Any ideas?

E



deeddlit -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/13/2007 11:33:30 AM)

Set the pile on fire, roast marshmallows and go on a shopping spree.  Repeat as needed.

My video card sucks...I don't have the money for a new one and I am addicted to online role playing games...what can I do??



CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/13/2007 2:06:16 PM)

Steal a library computer. They're gaming-quality.

I hate cramping every month and the reproductive organs can't come out anytime soon *sighs*. How can I get rid of the pain?



goodlittlegirl28 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/13/2007 7:35:37 PM)

drop a brick on your foot and you'll never notice the cramping.

i can't seem to get that red wine stain out of my favorite shirt. suggestion?



CH3CH2OH -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/13/2007 7:44:42 PM)

Drink more red wine, spill it, stain more.

(No seriously, try pet stain cleaner. It works on carpet. I guess try diluting it if it will damage the fabric too much. Yay science!)

I'm hooked on a certain television show only because one of my friends is a terrible influence. What should I do?



goodlittlegirl28 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/13/2007 7:48:15 PM)

break off all contact with said friend. a true friend wouldn't feed your addictions. in fact, break your tv, too.

i always get hungry late at night, but don't want to eat so close to sleeping. ideas?



HouseofBear -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/13/2007 8:20:51 PM)

Eat your fill and sleep in the daytime assuming you are less hungry then. 

I need to put wood sealer on my deck quickly, anyone have a good idea?



CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/14/2007 12:02:58 AM)

Hire a teenager in desperate need of money. It'll be done quickly, if not entirely properly.

I played so much of a game yesterday it appeared in my dreams. How can I keep this from happening again?



FullCircle -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/14/2007 4:20:28 AM)

Dismantle your PS2 after each session on it so that each time you want to play it you have to put it together again first. In this way your dreams will be more constructive in future.

I’m trying to change my approach to life by taking people more seriously. How can I stop the funny things that appear in my mind when someone asks my advice from coming out of my mouth? I’ve tried the saying nothing to look clever method but people think I don’t care when I do this.



goodlittlegirl28 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/14/2007 7:11:06 AM)

shock therapy.

i end up staying on here for hours and get nothing accomplished. how do i stop the insanity???



LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/14/2007 8:14:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: goodlittlegirl28
i end up staying on here for hours and get nothing accomplished. how do i stop the insanity???


Dont worry. This concern will soon pass, and then you can spend your whole waking life on here, like the rest of us. I havent logged off in six months, and I'm fine after all.

I havent been to work in six months, missed all my repayments on cards and mortgage, and the repo man is at the door. What should I do?

E



FullCircle -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/14/2007 9:50:38 AM)

Bake a cake with razor blades in and offer him some.

My humour these days seems to be merely pandering to the psychopathic types how can I raise the standard with minimal effort?



goodlittlegirl28 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/14/2007 9:52:27 AM)

read 1001 knock knock jokes.

i get a ton of catalogs to stores i've never heard of in my mail all the time. how do i stop this unwanted pile of advertising?



LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/14/2007 1:35:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: goodlittlegirl28
i get a ton of catalogs to stores i've never heard of in my mail all the time. how do i stop this unwanted pile of advertising?


Find out the locations of these stores and take piles of old newspapers down to them. Scatter all over the floor. Set light to them. The store may or may not get the message, but you wont receive any more unwanted advertising. They dont deliver to the state pen, after all.

I like to set fire to things. A leprechaun told me to in the first place, but now I like it and the leprechaun just watches. Is this a problem, and if so, what should I do about it?

E



CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/15/2007 12:52:26 AM)

Tell the leprechaun his pot of gold is in trouble. He'll leave you alone that way.

I'm all out of energy drinks and broke. How do I get my caffeine fix tomorrow morning?



deeddlit -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/15/2007 3:43:13 AM)

Pop about 6 of those Tylenol for migraine...you should be good to go in no time!

For some reason I seem to sleep better in the day time, but my career will not allow for night time hours, what can I do to get some good sleep??



CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/15/2007 2:13:02 PM)

Change careers.

I've been crying most of the day for no real reason and want it to stop. Help?



LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/15/2007 5:00:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple

I've been crying most of the day for no real reason and want it to stop. Help?



Short term; take a razor to the eye area, and remove tear ducts.
Long term; use lots of androgen therapy - when you get to the stage that being upset means ripping someone's head off, rather than crying, you've succeeded. It seems to work in reverse, anyhow!

I just heard a novel word "fuck puppet", which I assume refers to a doll of some sort. Where can I get one for the best price?

E



goodlittlegirl28 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (1/15/2007 5:05:42 PM)

you should immediately call all of your relatives. 30 people looking for cheap fuck puppets is better than one.

how do you get rude people to acknowledge your sneeze?



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