RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/17/2006 1:02:03 PM)
Become a romance scammer yourself. There are always enough idiots in the world to make a living from. We now have surplus steam-powered computers. How can we get rid of them?

jblack -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/17/2006 2:23:31 PM)
Reuse the technology to create steam-powered vibrators. You'll never go hungry if you can build a good vibratror. I was flamed and ripped to shreds on a message board at another BDSM site. What should I do?

CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/17/2006 5:02:09 PM)
Make a new profile and attempt to restore your credibility. I've watched far too many episodes of the same anime over the past 24 hours and now I'm hearing Japanese whenever I don't have background music on. How can I remedy this?

CH3CH2OH -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/17/2006 5:13:41 PM)
Listen to Kevin Federline's AWESOME music. It makes everything better, and you'll be too busy trying to figure out what the hell POPOZAO means to think about anything else. My beer is empty and the fridge is really far away. OH GOD HELP ME WHAT SHOULD I DO?

jblack -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/17/2006 5:21:57 PM)
Develop a remote control and put your fridge on casters; that way, you can summon your fridge (thus beer) to you rather than having to actually move. Calliope, I'd say that creating a new profile and restoring my credibility might be considered good advice, considering how many people do it. My latest idea was to create teams consisting of the mean flamers on the site that shall remain nameless and the cool people here; then, we could duke it out in superbowl style InternetBowl. Imagine the potential for BSDM cheerleading routines. I feel like a surly, misunderstood teenager and want to sulk. However, I've had enough experience with that to know it gets me nowhere. How should I handle my irritable and irritating teenager within?

CH3CH2OH -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/17/2006 5:34:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jblack Develop a remote control and put your fridge on casters; that way, you can summon your fridge (thus beer) to you rather than having to actually move. This is an amazing idea. Hooray for the power of science! quote: ORIGINAL:jblack I feel like a surly, misunderstood teenager and want to sulk. However, I've had enough experience with that to know it gets me nowhere. How should I handle my irritable and irritating teenager within? Two words. LiveJournal and Myspace. I see a little silhouette of a man. There are thunderbolts and lightning, and it's very VERY frightening. What should I do?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/17/2006 10:49:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CH3CH2OH I see a little silhouette of a man. There are thunderbolts and lightning, and it's very VERY frightening. What should I do? I have no idea. I'm just a small boy from a small family. (there are so many things wrong with that, but hell) I have to drive 400 miles today, delivering xmas presents to customers. Yet I'm still sitting here at nearly 7am. How can I accomplish 8 deliveries before 5pm? E

Petruchio -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/17/2006 11:57:38 PM)
quote: I have to drive 400 miles today, delivering xmas presents to customers. Yet I'm still sitting here at nearly 7am. How can I accomplish 8 deliveries before 5pm? So THAT's how Christmas gifts really get to children! Ellen, stop eating all the cookies and milk, and you'll soon feel like moving again. Santa missed my house last year. What should I do to encourage him to stop this time?

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/17/2006 11:59:48 PM)
Put the cookies and milk on the roof... along with a lazer beacon. He wont be able to miss it I have to train my replacement at work before I leave, and I really dont think he can do the job. How do I break it to management?

CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/18/2006 12:39:09 AM)
Warn them in an email, then move and watch him do poorly so you can play the "I told you so" card. My grandpa's dog likes licking my face. Can this bad habit be stopped?

jblack -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/18/2006 1:24:29 AM)
If you don't mind cruelty to animals, then you could rip out his tongue. If, however, that thought makes you ill, you could always wear a thick layer of makeup on your entire face; the dog will end up licking off the cosmetics, and, when he recognizes that they don't blend with the natural shade of his tongue, he will abruptly stop in a fit of mortification, afraid that his obviously painted tongue makes him look like a streetwalking bitch. While I consider myself to be an iconoclast, I recently realized that I still worry too much about what other people think. I already live in a Fortress of Solitude (Superman wants me to housesit; he's such a nice boy), but what else can I do to make sure that others don't get to me?

PALittleGirl -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/18/2006 6:56:16 AM)
Get a bunch of dogs and let them "go" all over the yard in a wide perimeter. The smell alone should take care of that. Make sure you have a gas mask for yourself. I keep forgetting to drink enough water and end up getting sick and dehyrated. How can I remind myself to drink at least 64 ounces a day?

DOM68005 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/18/2006 7:03:04 AM)
Sleep in the bathtub. It's full of water. We are going on a cross country trip... much of it daylight. Why should I allow you to pack anything besides a tooth brush and your cuffs?

PALittleGirl -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/18/2006 7:15:04 AM)
Why should you? Again... I see no issue with this. How do I prevent sunburn if all I'm allowed to bring is toothbrush and cuffs?

Fitznicely -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/18/2006 12:49:25 PM)
Beg to go somewhere cold and overcast. OK, I need to learn to drive really quick so I can take PAlittlegirl on a roadtrip here in the UK. How do I persuade my instructor I'm ready after just two lessons?

jblack -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/18/2006 1:29:42 PM)
Invite the instructor to join you on your road trip; after he gets a sense of what will be in PAlittlegirl's "suitcase," I doubt he'll have much objections to giving you a license right away. I still want to know how to keep other people from getting to me as I hide in Superman's fortress of solitude.

PALittleGirl -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/18/2006 3:19:48 PM)
Four words: Rodents of Unusual Size. How can get to the UK so Fitz can take a road trip with me without buying a plane ticket that I can't afford? Also, how do I deal with the fact that I think Fitz is married?

darchChylde -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/18/2006 3:45:36 PM)
go to the shore, think pure thoughts and walk across the big water; when you get to the UK, tell Fitz that you're there to fuck his wife, and he can join in... if he has a wife, he'll be honest; if not, formally present yourself to him then and there i have trouble talking to Ma'am about my feelings, and it's a real hard time of year for me; please help

Petruchio -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/18/2006 7:06:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darchChylde i have trouble talking to Ma'am about my feelings, and it's a real hard time of year for me; please help That's a bitch of a problem because (a) it's well known that doms have no feelings and (b) doms don't want to hear about other people's feelings. However, if you stab yourself in the eye, they might (or might not) notice. Help! Chylde stabbed his eye with a chocolate Santa. What should he do next?

CH3CH2OH -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/18/2006 7:16:41 PM)
Stab the other one with a peanut butter snowman. Chocolate and peanut butter go GREAT together! Help- I'm stuck in chair and forced to look at the Internet for hours on end. I'm afraid my brain will rot. What should I do?!

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