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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/26/2006 12:13:51 AM   
RibbonsAndCurls


Posts: 51
Joined: 11/10/2006
Status: offline 		Duct tape works well to help that. Just be sure to do it on your bare skin...


My Daddy's ex wife is trying to part us and get back together with him.. what should I do?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/26/2006 12:21:18 AM   
LadyFrancesca


Posts: 411
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline 		Lock her in the trunk of a car in a junk yard. Just be sure you gag her first.

I have 2 very large guard dogs that sleep on the floor of my bedroom and BOTH of them snore loudly enough to rattle the windows.  What can I do?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/26/2006 6:01:17 AM   
MmakeMme


Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline 		Remove the windows.


I'm out of coffee. Now what??

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/26/2006 7:35:00 AM   
SohCahToa


Posts: 563
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline
To ensure the future coffee supply and avert world chaos you must write to your local government official and insist your nation invades South America. If you are in South America at present you must start a coup d’état.

I’m starting to worry for my mental heath how can I tell if I’m going mad?


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(in reply to MmakeMme)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/26/2006 12:19:32 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SohCahToa

I’m starting to worry for my mental heath how can I tell if I’m going mad?



Ask yourself at weekly intervals, whether the world makes more sense to you? The more sense it makes, the crazier you undoubtedly are.

The world makes a lot of depressing sense to me; how can I restore my sanity?

E

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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/26/2006 4:33:07 PM   
sleazy


Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		Sanity is not necessary, it clouds the judgement, revel in your inherent madness :)


I have 400 tv channels almost as many dvds and cant decide what to watch when the night shift goes quiet, what can I do to try keep awake without creating interesting records in the net access logs?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/26/2006 5:15:49 PM   
LadySeraphina


Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline 		Capture someone interesting, and keep them in a cage behind your desk. When bored, poke with stick.

My ferrets are on a suppliment that makes their feces smell like popcorn. I find this disturbing, help!

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Profile   Post #: 2667
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/26/2006 5:26:47 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		Why? Popcorn smell is ok... just don't try to eat your ferriets fecal matter.
 
I can't think of anything... what should I do?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/26/2006 6:17:30 PM   
LaMspeach


Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline 		Make something up really outragous and then tell it in terms that people will beleive.

I dont know what to wear to tomorrow to work, Anyone have any ideas ?

< Message edited by LaMspeach -- 11/26/2006 6:20:20 PM >

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/26/2006 8:27:41 PM   
sleazy


Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		nothing but a sandich-board proclaiming something obscene :)

How can I persuade the young lady on reception to dress in such a manner?

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Opinion is packaged by weight not volume, contents may settle during transit. Consult you medical practitioner. Do not attempt to stop moving parts by hand. Ensure all safety shields in place. Open this way up. Do not expose to temperatures exceeding 50C

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2006 1:15:04 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		Steal executive memo pads, fake your bosses' signature, and outline exactly what "dress down friday" entails

My lover has gone to work, our pet is in east london, so who's going to get me my coffee?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2006 2:28:26 AM   
sleazy


Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		Small world, Im in the east end myself, now as for coffee.....
a) get a spare pet dedicated solely to coffee duty
b) make a very large flask of coffee to cut down on kettle trips
c) place coffee machine on desk next to computer
d) all of the above

How can I train a coffee retrieval slave to crawl without spilling it all?

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Opinion is packaged by weight not volume, contents may settle during transit. Consult you medical practitioner. Do not attempt to stop moving parts by hand. Ensure all safety shields in place. Open this way up. Do not expose to temperatures exceeding 50C

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Profile   Post #: 2672
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2006 9:00:19 AM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazy

How can I train a coffee retrieval slave to crawl without spilling it all?


have them place the cup of coffee on their back... they will have to find a way not to burn thewir backs

am i wrong to want to switch just so i could have a service sub? is it even possible for me to pull it off?

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if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2006 9:21:37 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

am i wrong to want to switch just so i could have a service sub? is it even possible for me to pull it off?


Since it is entirely possible for you to pull it off, it would seem that you do not need a service sub and therefore do not need to switch. Just clean it up afterwards yourself.

What the best way for a guy to clean it up afterwards, when he has pulled it off?

E

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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

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Profile   Post #: 2674
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2006 12:14:04 PM   
QuietDom


Posts: 255
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline 		That's what the service sub is for!

I could use a service sub.  Why is it that no-one performs all my menial tasks for no good reason?

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Profile   Post #: 2675
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2006 5:38:30 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietDom
I could use a service sub.  Why is it that no-one performs all my menial tasks for no good reason?

Your genitalia isn't big enough.
How can I get all of my Christmas shopping done this week?

(in reply to QuietDom)
Profile   Post #: 2676
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2006 5:44:45 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Buy everyone a benji.

Who could hate you for that?  Other than cats, children, grandparents, shoes, couches, beds, et al.

I'm tired, hungry, and bored.  What can I do?

Yours,


benji

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2006 5:48:03 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

I'm tired, hungry, and bored.  What can I do?

Yours,


benji

Relax on the couch, kick off your shoes.  Grab a shotgun and shoot the cats, children and grandparents.  Then eat them.

I've been in a bad mood lately.  How do I get happy again?

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Profile   Post #: 2678
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2006 6:35:59 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68
I've been in a bad mood lately.  How do I get happy again?


Buy a pair of jogging shoes and a Richard Nixon mask. Go to the local shopping center, and look for people burdened with lots of packages. Pull down their pants and laugh. Then run.

What product can i manufacture out of shed cat hair that will make me fabulously wealthy so that i don't have to sell my car?

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 2679
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2006 7:09:07 PM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		There is nothing. How much are you asking for the car, by the way?

I really need to be asleep right now. Short of reading through misstresssavanna's thread again, what can I do?


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Profile   Post #: 2680
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