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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2006 8:59:36 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fitznicely

There is nothing. How much are you asking for the car, by the way?

I really need to be asleep right now. Short of reading through misstresssavanna's thread again, what can I do?



$2800. '60 New Yorker, seized engine

When you absolutely, positively need to be unconscious, there is no substitute for autoerotic asphyxiation

How on earth does one organize 140GB of bondage and fetish movies?



(in reply to Fitznicely)
Profile   Post #: 2681
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2006 9:02:26 PM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		slowly.

How on earth does one go about sending 50 DVD's intercontinental in order to beg a copy of someone's 140GB of bondage and fetish movies?


_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

(in reply to petdave)
Profile   Post #: 2682
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2006 9:38:38 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		COD

How can I keep myself from waating so much time on collarme?

(in reply to Fitznicely)
Profile   Post #: 2683
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2006 9:43:27 PM   
sleazy


Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		DVDs are not the best way to do this, due to the fragility of the plastic cases on dvds it best to rely on good old 1.44meg floppy disks that have their own rigid case, each one wrapped in at least 2lb of dodo feathers and shipped individually. Due to the potential of the postal service losing one or two it is best to send at least 5 full sets of disks

or

No need to mail them :) beg to owner to set up their own server and use the net. 


How can I avoid being jealous of persons with much better collections than I?

_____________________________

Opinion is packaged by weight not volume, contents may settle during transit. Consult you medical practitioner. Do not attempt to stop moving parts by hand. Ensure all safety shields in place. Open this way up. Do not expose to temperatures exceeding 50C

(in reply to Fitznicely)
Profile   Post #: 2684
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2006 11:07:20 PM   
DiamondOrchid


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		Steal their collections.
 
How can I get rid of the newbie cone quickly without posting useless and boring posts?

_____________________________

Relationships are like full time jobs and should be treated as such. If your boy/girlfriend wants to leave, they should give you two weeks' notice and severance pay. Also they should have to find you a temp.

(in reply to sleazy)
Profile   Post #: 2685
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/28/2006 12:03:01 AM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Don't fight it. That's how WE all got rid of it, after all (well, me anyway)


Does anyone know where to find about a million 1.44Mb floppies? Dodo feathers I got, but those floppies...


_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

(in reply to DiamondOrchid)
Profile   Post #: 2686
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/28/2006 12:08:21 AM   
jblack


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Put a strip of masking tape across your monitor so that it covers all the icons, including the vanilla cone.

How can I juggle four Doms and a career and still have time to do the laundry, dishes, and vacuuming?

(in reply to DiamondOrchid)
Profile   Post #: 2687
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/28/2006 12:10:50 AM   
jblack


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Aw, shoot, Fitznicely, you beat me to the punch.

To answer your question, raid the attics of nerds everywhere; they are bound to have those floppies.

My questions remains: How can I juggle four Doms and burgeoning career while still making time to do the laundry, dishes, and vacuuming?


(in reply to jblack)
Profile   Post #: 2688
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/28/2006 12:24:21 AM   
sleazy


Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		Persuade 3 of aforesaid doms that before you submit to them they must prove themselves by trying the other side. Then use them for laundry dishes & vacuming leaving you to deal with only career and one dom. You could if desired set up a rota that involves all 4 in differing roles on a say weekly basis.

How do I best cope with working a ridiculous shift pattern that means the only chance I get to talk online most intelligent people in my time zone are either working or sleeping (in the case of some staff here sleeping at work!)


_____________________________

Opinion is packaged by weight not volume, contents may settle during transit. Consult you medical practitioner. Do not attempt to stop moving parts by hand. Ensure all safety shields in place. Open this way up. Do not expose to temperatures exceeding 50C

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Profile   Post #: 2689
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/28/2006 1:57:25 AM   
LadyFrancesca


Posts: 411
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline 		Get fired. Then you will be able to chat any time you choose.

My dogs have major flatulence problems. What should I do?

(in reply to sleazy)
Profile   Post #: 2690
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/28/2006 2:05:19 AM   
sleazy


Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		Store the offending gas and use it to run the furnace and heat the house during the colder months.


whats the best way to store canine flatulence?

_____________________________

Opinion is packaged by weight not volume, contents may settle during transit. Consult you medical practitioner. Do not attempt to stop moving parts by hand. Ensure all safety shields in place. Open this way up. Do not expose to temperatures exceeding 50C

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Profile   Post #: 2691
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/28/2006 2:36:31 AM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazy
whats the best way to store canine flatulence?


Steal oxygen bottles from the elderly. If times get tough, you can always sell them back once they've been refilled.

What's a good way to stay awake at work after an evening of insomnia?

(in reply to sleazy)
Profile   Post #: 2692
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/28/2006 3:28:08 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		a row of thumb tacks, point up in front of your keyboard

I don't have time to pack, wrap presents, and post-yank on cm... how do I pack and wrap quicker?

_____________________________

Lets roleplay - I'll get the D20s
"Freud was...sorry if this is an over-generalisation...A coke addled kiddy-fiddler" Alan Moore
"A Lady must always remember her station in life - and be prepared to change at Acton Town"

(in reply to petdave)
Profile   Post #: 2693
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/28/2006 3:52:23 AM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Amalgamate the two jobs: either pack all your clothes in christmas wrapping paper or deliver your presents in suitcases.

All my hoseplants keep dying. Any greenfingered wizards out there?


_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

(in reply to RubberWitch)
Profile   Post #: 2694
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/28/2006 7:27:09 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fitznicely
All my hoseplants keep dying. Any greenfingered wizards out there?



The only way I know of to become greenfingered is to pick your nose vigorously. How this affects plants I dont know - maybe smear it on them?

This morning, I have been described elsewhere on this site as being offensive. I have arrogant down to a fine art now, but whats the best way for me to cultivate this new found quality?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to Fitznicely)
Profile   Post #: 2695
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/28/2006 7:30:20 AM   
DiamondOrchid


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		Stop bathing completely and go someplace hot. You will ripen quickly.
 
How do I avoid falling into CM addictive behaviour?

_____________________________

Relationships are like full time jobs and should be treated as such. If your boy/girlfriend wants to leave, they should give you two weeks' notice and severance pay. Also they should have to find you a temp.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2696
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/28/2006 8:00:36 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiamondOrchid
How do I avoid falling into CM addictive behaviour?


If any of us knew the answer to that one, we'd all have jobs, be dressed and washed in the morning and not be here. There's not much hope Diamond I'm afraid; CM has you now.

My name is Ellen and I have a problem. What 12 step programme is recommended to wean the likes of me off CM?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to DiamondOrchid)
Profile   Post #: 2697
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/28/2006 12:20:04 PM   
SohCahToa


Posts: 563
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline 		Step One: Acceptance
Step Two: Seeking help
Step Three: Contacting one of my clinics for help
Step Four: Payment
Step Five: More payment
Step Six: Participate at a ‘You are half way there seminar’ at one of my outreach centres
Step Seven: Join the ‘Society of Ex-Collarmes’. For a small fee each month but you get annual newsletters detailing how other Ex-Collarmes have moved on with their life and now have a better existence than your own.
Step Eight: Yet more payment
Step Nine: Helping others in a sanctimonious way stating examples of how bad your own Collarme habit used to be.
Step Ten: Realisation that it’s all a con.
Step Eleven: Sue me for all I’m worth i.e. 50p.
Step Twelve: Moving on with your life/death.

How can I make my posts sound less bitter?


_____________________________

ڪ০મ໒คमՇՕΔ
- Pax vobiscum -

"Come ride with me through the veins of history. I'll show you a God who falls asleep on the job." - Muse

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2698
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/28/2006 2:01:28 PM   
sleazy


Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		Sprinkle sugar all over your PC, to ensure all components are thoroughly sweetened try dissolving the sugar in warm water first and then bake for 30 mins in a hot oven to get a nice solid caramelised post.

What is the best way to keep theiving little sods from eyeing up my motor?

< Message edited by sleazy -- 11/28/2006 2:02:33 PM >

_____________________________

Opinion is packaged by weight not volume, contents may settle during transit. Consult you medical practitioner. Do not attempt to stop moving parts by hand. Ensure all safety shields in place. Open this way up. Do not expose to temperatures exceeding 50C

(in reply to SohCahToa)
Profile   Post #: 2699
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/28/2006 2:06:24 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazy

What is the best way to keep theiving little sods from eyeing up my motor?


Park it on deserted land and set fire to it. Once burned out it will no longer be a temptation to others.

I burnt my car out on deserted land miles from town. How can I get home without a long walk?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to sleazy)
Profile   Post #: 2700
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