RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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petdave -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/22/2006 5:25:43 AM)

Get your jaw wired shut.

i really don't want to go to work today. What excuse should i call in with?



CrazyC -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/22/2006 6:49:36 AM)

Have to go see your psychologist and get medication to deal with your family over Thanksgiving.

Is there a way to get coffee without having to get out of bed?



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/22/2006 8:52:25 AM)

quote:

Is there a way to get coffee without having to get out of bed?


Yes, there is. Get a water bed and a water heater for the bed. Fill the bed with water and coffee beans and turn the heater on high. This way all you have to do is poke a hole in the bed and suck the coffee out.

I am trying to figure out if CrazyC lives in the apartment abve me because I do not want coffee dripping from the ceiling. What is the best way to do this?



RubberWitch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/22/2006 9:51:48 AM)

Go upstairs, knock on the door, and ask the person who answers the door if she's a wiccan submissive who likes Ass Play, Blindfolds, Breast Play and Spanking

Even if it's not C, Your luck may be in

Our pet has got way too attatched. and we're not ready for poly. What should we do?



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/22/2006 10:06:58 AM)

quote:

Our pet has got way too attatched. and we're not ready for poly. What should we do?


Tell Poly to be patient.

I have nothing to do for Thanksgiving... no turkey, stuffing, gravy, or pumpkin pie. I need something to do tomorrow... any thoughts?



RubberWitch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/22/2006 10:14:22 AM)

Yes, you can have this over-affectionate parrot, though it does need a good stuffing

Sorry, thats just silly. Anyway..

Gauge wrote..
I have nothing to do for Thanksgiving... no turkey, stuffing, gravy, or pumpkin pie. I need something to do tomorrow... any thoughts?



Fitznicely -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/22/2006 11:43:51 AM)

Start buying for Christmas instead

As a limey, I couldn't give a slap about Thanksgiving, so how do I survive the lack of forum/blogging action as everyone in the US gets stuffed on turkey?



LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/22/2006 2:59:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fitznicely
As a limey, I couldn't give a slap about Thanksgiving, so how do I survive the lack of forum/blogging action as everyone in the US gets stuffed on turkey?



Masturbation should while away those hours of quiet solitude, and allow you to share a little in the US holiday spirit. 24 hours of wanking, and you too will be giving thanks, albeit for having not stuffed up your cock, (rather than a turkey).

My new pics have still not been approved. How can I speed this process up?

E



Fitznicely -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/22/2006 4:37:05 PM)

Offer the moderators oral sex?

I have one of those doorbells that plays random tunes. I need a method of destroying the thing that doesn't raise suspicion. Any suggestions?



LadySeraphina -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/22/2006 5:12:11 PM)

Poke a hole in the wall and chew the wires, then blame it on mice.

I'm in Canada, and we celebrated Thanksgiving weeks ago (although my boy and I had manicotti instead of Thanksgiving this year) and I'm finished Christmas shopping. I already masturbate a lot, so what else can I do do kill time during the holidays?



petdave -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/22/2006 5:39:50 PM)

Start building the Largest Ball of Twine in Canada.

How should i cook dinner tonight? i've got boneless chicken breasts defrosted.



gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/22/2006 5:56:01 PM)

When yer cock's got breasts, it's time to move on.

I need to get my passport, but I don't have time.  What can I do?

Yours,


benji



Fitznicely -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/22/2006 6:29:40 PM)

Get smuggled into the country and claim asylum. The worst they'll do is.......well, you'll probably enjoy it anyway

I've been putting off going back to the gym for weeks. Any self motivation advice?



MadameMarque -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/23/2006 12:56:21 PM)

Just think of the effort, the expense, those aching muscles, all that sweating, and how archly unattractive gym clothes are on most everyone who actually needs to go to a gym.
 
You could easily put it off for months.  You can do it!  One day at a time...

I have goth, Jrock star, Diva tastes, on a polyester-at-the-thriftshop budget.  Where can I obtain the finery I'm seeking?
 
[What costumes shall the poor Domme wear, to all tomorrow's parties?]



jblack -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/23/2006 1:24:43 PM)

Go to a vampire's garage sale.

I'm a turkey fanatic who is going to a vegetarian Thanksgiving. How do I keep from whining about the meatlessness?




LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/23/2006 2:36:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jblack
I'm a turkey fanatic who is going to a vegetarian Thanksgiving. How do I keep from whining about the meatlessness?



Eat the vegetarians.

I broke my nails playing guitar. Whats the most effective way of picking my nose, without using my toenails?

E



Fitznicely -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/23/2006 2:53:18 PM)

Pliers

My little toe is currently jammed up my left nostril because i couldn't find my pliers. It would be embarrassing to call an ambulance. How do I get myself out of this predicament?



twistedwillow -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/23/2006 3:17:17 PM)

duct tape your mouth, stick a mother of a butt plug up your butt, and stick your fingers in your ears, once thats done, let go a ripper of a fart, instead of escaping out your butt, it will travel back up thru your intestines etc to your mouth, and as mouth\ears\nose are all connected, it will blow out your nose, taking your toe with it.  ( of course if your unlucky it has the potential to go off track and end up in a brain fart...  )


I am cross eyed, when i see Sir i see two of him, which one should i serve?

twistedwillow



MadameMarque -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/23/2006 3:40:48 PM)

It is said that one must not serve two masters.  Beg him to give you some half-assed commands, then split the difference.
Or, er, go forth and multiple?

I've noticed a bird feeder in a neighbor's yard, and it draws many birds.  What shall I put in my pretty boy feeder?
 
 



dcnovice -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/23/2006 4:17:09 PM)

quote:

I've noticed a bird feeder in a neighbor's yard, and it draws many birds.  What shall I put in my pretty boy feeder?


A pretty girl

I'm too shy to approach a dominant; what should I do?



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