RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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LadyFrancesca -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/17/2006 10:42:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mikal Shave the rest off and get a wig. My vanilla folks found my whip collection and want an explanation... what do I say (and no, I can't say the whips are for animals... I'm not in the country). Tell them that you are into BDSM. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/image/s2.gif[/image] I have a HUGE crush on George Clooney. What should I do?

LadySeraphina -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/17/2006 11:45:14 PM)
My boy says: Transfer the crush to benji - he may be just as unattainable, but at least he'll return your messages. My breasts seem to be miraculously getting larger and firmer. I'm not pregnant, I didn't get implants, and I'm not getting fat. What's happening to me?

Mikal -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/17/2006 11:59:01 PM)
God loves you, and it's showing. [:D] I've decided I want a male sub, but there are so many on this site to choose from.... how do I pick just one????

Fitznicely -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/18/2006 1:42:52 AM)
Invite them all round, close your eyes and use the tried and tested pin-sticking method I've decided to take on a house girl to get rid of the huge pile of dishes and laundry that's built up. Is a cage acceptable, or should I let her have the room under the stairs?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/18/2006 5:23:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Fitznicely I've decided to take on a house girl to get rid of the huge pile of dishes and laundry that's built up. Is a cage acceptable, or should I let her have the room under the stairs? Youre going about this all wrong. Self reliance and independence are the hallmark of the successful dom, so you need to do them yourself before you can expect to govern someone else doing them. I suggest instead you phone 0800 WHIPLASH and order up a spiky heeled domme to provide encouragement to you. No one is calling my domme ordering service (0800 WHIPLASH); how do I promote the business without spending too much? E

Fitznicely -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/18/2006 7:27:13 AM)
Try mentioning your service in conversations on various discussion boards. I keep getting an engaged tone. Help!

RubberWitch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/18/2006 7:55:26 AM)
Try hanging round at more single tone bars My phone keeps dying. any tips for getting an xda working?

tade -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/18/2006 9:53:09 AM)
Change the locks and only let it come in for dinner on Sundays once it has a job. Tough love... All the pens in my house are out of ink and I need to write down "pens" on the grocery list... Help!!!

QuietDom -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/18/2006 10:57:26 AM)
Write in your own blood. Add a little clause about your soul, and you can get the pens for free. A religious group has been holding a protest outside my door for the last two weeks. What (short of mass murder) can I do about them?

darchChylde -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/18/2006 11:04:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: QuietDom A religious group has been holding a protest outside my door for the last two weeks. What (short of mass murder) can I do about them? give them all coffee and cocoa, along with some finger sandwiches (no fingers please)... then stand on a soapbox while they're enjoying the goodies and tell them asll about your god... if you don't have a god, make one up using as many cliches as possible i'm busy protesting in QuietDom's yard and he hasn't started serving snacks yet, and i need my coffee... what am i to do?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/18/2006 11:04:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: QuietDom A religious group has been holding a protest outside my door for the last two weeks. What (short of mass murder) can I do about them? Go and burglarise their homes, whilst theyre outside yours. If they complain, tell them it was their God's will and that their possessions were only obstacles to their relationship with their Lord. I too have the need to maim, torture and kill religious fundamentalists. Whats the most fun and entertaining way to do this? E

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/18/2006 11:06:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darchChylde i'm busy protesting in QuietDomk's yard and he hasn't started serving snacks... what am i to do? Get home quickly. I need help carrying your TV set to my car. E

CrazyC -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/18/2006 11:46:45 AM)
If you really want my broken shit that bad, I'll carry it down for you. I need to start packing but have no time with homework. What can i do?

SohCahToa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/18/2006 1:51:04 PM)
Do a diploma course in packing at the University of Packaging. You know what they say two birds with one stone i.e. BIG stone. I did a diploma at the University of Packaging with a module about Tetra Packs and why they have funny coloured symbols on the bottom. I left the University of Packaging with high hopes but every employer I go to refuses to recognise it. What can I do?

QuietDom -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/19/2006 10:33:56 AM)
Go to the campus bookstore, and buy a 100 linear foot x 20" roll of 80 gauge opaque cling wrap. Mummify potential employers to demonstrate the value of your diploma. Cut them free once you hear the words "You're hired." (probably a good idea to leave the mouth free for this purpose.) I recently bought a 100 linear foot x 20" roll of 80 gauge opaque cling wrap, and I want to mummify someone. Where can I find a good Pharaoh in this day and age?

Aileen68 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/19/2006 10:41:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: QuietDom I recently bought a 100 linear foot x 20" roll of 80 gauge opaque cling wrap, and I want to mummify someone. Where can I find a good Pharaoh in this day and age? Bypass the securtiy at the Metropolitan Museum of Art's ancient Egypt display. They won't mind. I'm out of milk in the house and don't feel like going to the store. What do I do?

TreSwank -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/19/2006 11:09:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 I'm out of milk in the house and don't feel like going to the store. What do I do? Drink a gallon of post-fellatio splooge. It's white, and has protein in it.............close enough.

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/19/2006 11:35:11 AM)
Tre didnt post a question. What's the best way to encourage him to do so?

TreSwank -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/19/2006 11:37:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyEllen Tre didnt post a question. What's the best way to encourage him to do so? "Fellatio is the quickest way to a man's heart" TreSwank

mnottertail -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/19/2006 11:48:58 AM)
Huh? What? Vinny Barbarino

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