RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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Mikal -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/12/2006 11:57:37 PM)

Pull a Sleeping Beauty...
 
My housemates are bumping away like rabbits... how can I discretely get to the bathroom without embarrasing them or myself?



RubberWitch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/13/2006 2:49:40 AM)

I suggest just walkint to the bathroom completely naked, and acting as they don't exist. If they're having a good time, they won't notice you, if they do, feel pleased that you've improved their experience

One of my best net friends has dissapeared from CM, and I believe she's been eaten by her rabbits. How do I check she's OK?
(oh, and to previous posts, Gou Rou Mien is dog meat and noodles)



LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/13/2006 3:47:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RubberWitch
One of my best net friends has dissapeared from CM, and I believe she's been eaten by her rabbits. How do I check she's OK?



Use the force. Or mail her - its up to you.

I'm trying to pack for a business trip and yet at the same time perform a day's work (15 hours) in 5 hours. How can I prevent insanity and/or the death of the next idiot who calls me?

E



BanginPapa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/13/2006 12:10:26 PM)

I just pulled of the freeway and coasted into a service station, because the temperature gauge on my instrument panel says it's nearly 300 degrees. What should I do?


Move somewhere where it's not quite so hot...



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/14/2006 9:48:35 AM)

quote:

I'm trying to pack for a business trip and yet at the same time perform a day's work (15 hours) in 5 hours. How can I prevent insanity and/or the death of the next idiot who calls me?


Well, to fit 15 hours into 5 hours all you have to do is keep turning the clock back silly. As far as prevention of sanity goes and the future existence of the next person that disturbs you? I believe you are already quite disturbed and therefore you have nothing to worry about from anyone else.

Someone didn't read the rules of the thread. How can I stop myself from going ballistic?



SohCahToa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/14/2006 1:33:25 PM)

Give loads of money to a charity that improves literacy amongst people that look like ex NYPD cops and invite the person responsible for this abominable act to go seek there help. At the same time enlist yourself into a course of intensive/relaxing meditation involving breathing exercises and sitting on hard floors that end up giving you a larger pain in the arse.

I’m watching a programme on TV and I have no idea what it’s about. How can I stop the process of wanting to know what something is about but not watching it when I am never going to have a clue what it’s about? It would be nice if TV programmes had intellect guidance. This programme on UFO’s is actually about microbes and if I had known I needed a background in microbiology to watch it I probably would have ended up watching ‘Dating the enemy’ which sounds good but it’s half way through now. How can I know what is best for me to watch in life?



Fitznicely -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/14/2006 4:28:23 PM)

Only watch stuff you can download. Only the best stuff finds its way onto the internet...

I'm tired, my fingers hurt and I don't want to play anymore. What have I been doing?



darchChylde -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/14/2006 4:37:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fitznicely

I'm tired, my fingers hurt and I don't want to play anymore. What have I been doing?



stay off the piano and get to masturbating, the natural lube you produce will make things all better... if you sell video's, you can get someone to play the piano for you and save your fingers for more recreational pursuits

what's the best way to let Ma'am know i'm interested in a collar?



Fitznicely -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/14/2006 4:41:39 PM)

Keep resetting your browser homepage to houseofcollars.com

So, my girl hates waiting for her punishments. Am I being a good Master by keeping her on tenter hooks for a week?



LadySeraphina -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/14/2006 8:32:45 PM)

No, eventually the hooks will wear through her skin and she'll drop to the floor.

I have three hides waiting to be turned into nifty cuffs'n'stuff, but I'm too lazy and I hate the smell of the glue. How do I get the pretty new stuffs made without putting in any effort?



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/14/2006 9:29:14 PM)

quote:

I have three hides waiting to be turned into nifty cuffs'n'stuff, but I'm too lazy and I hate the smell of the glue. How do I get the pretty new stuffs made without putting in any effort?


OK... this might take a little time but if you follow the directions, you will end up with new stuff in no time with little effort. Get yourself an industrial sized laundry drier. Get 300 pounds of stainless steel ball bearings. Get a gallon of the glue you hate. Buy 16,324 double edged razor blades.

1. Put the hides into the drier with the ball bearings. Put the drier on the higest heat possible and set the timer for about ten days. This should curl the hides into the right shape.

2. Remove the ball bearings and put the razor blades in the drier and turn the drier on air dry and leave it on for about four days. This should cut the hides into nice pieces.

3. Pour in the glue and the ball bearings and set the drier to run for about a month. This will curl the pieces even more and glue them together at the same time.

4. Remove the hides and PRESTO! New toys!

Enjoy!

I am sick, twisted, demented and generally dancing a fine line between sanity and reality. I like this. Should I do something to prove all of these things? If so... got any suggestions?



Mikal -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/14/2006 10:04:10 PM)

You're here aren't you? I think that proves enough. The other people living in my head agree with me. You're fine.
 
I'm thinking of getting a slave, but I don't have time to invest in complete training. What should I do?



LadySeraphina -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/14/2006 10:13:15 PM)

Invest in incomplete training, then punish them for their failures when they don't live up to your unspoken expectations.

I take a perverse joy in setting people up for failure, but am too nice to actually do it - what should I do?



Mikal -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/14/2006 10:19:00 PM)

Get cardboard people, so you can set them up as you please, and you won't have to worry about their feelings.
 
I need someone to come and clean my place, but I have no money and I'm not interested in offering sex... what can I do?



darchChylde -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/14/2006 10:19:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySeraphina

Invest in incomplete training, then punish them for their failures when they don't live up to your unspoken expectations.

I take a perverse joy in setting people up for failure, but am too nice to actually do it - what should I do?


just stand back... most people will fail on their own, then you can stand back knowing that you could have helped but didn't

when Ma'am and i are intimate with each other; i can't step out of the sub mindset enough to act with some assertiveness... i know that she wants me to do this so she can be better satisfied, i will accept any advice

(side note, this is also a serious issue for me... i would appreciate that anyone with real ideas or advice either private message me or leave me some mail - oren)



LadySeraphina -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/14/2006 10:29:10 PM)

Just throw her down and show her how much you adore her by f*cking her brains out. She'll spank you for it later.;)

My boy has a sparkle on his forehead, and I haven't worn sparkles in months. How do I stop him from cheating on me with the Sparkle Fairy? (That hussy.)



Mikal -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/14/2006 10:43:21 PM)

Bribe the tooth fairy to chew on his nether regions.
 
My previous post was ignored, even though it was properly posted in a timely fashion... what do I do to get it answered?



wandersalone -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/14/2006 10:52:56 PM)

quote:


My previous post was ignored, even though it was properly posted in a timely fashion... what do I do to get it answered?


grins... you can thank me! (Your other option would have been to start new threads in every forum with the same question)

I need someone to come and clean my place, but I have no money and I'm not interested in offering sex... what can I do?



RubberWitch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/15/2006 6:03:58 PM)

get two fetishmaids, one up, one down, and when it comes to the sex, just leave'em to it

I can't afford a wii? but refuse to whore my arse for electrical equipment. Anyone want to buy me one for my birthday?



gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/15/2006 6:10:39 PM)

No.

Mikal wants a slave and a maid, I have offered myself about 40 times from separate accounts because she keeps blocking me, and she still won't sleep with me.  What's wrong with her?

Yours,


benji



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