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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/22/2006 1:12:38 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde
sometimes i imagine that i have something intelligent to say, but reality teaches otherwise; why can't i get my ferret to stop gnawing at the electrical cords?


First you must realise emptiness my Chylde. There is no ferret and no electrical cord. It is not the ferret which is chewing the cord which needs to be prevented, but your own perception which must change.

I think I attained enlightenment. Others think I do too much drugs. How can I tell which is more accurate?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 2241
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/22/2006 1:15:52 AM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		stronger drugs in higher doses are bound to bring clarity

i can't remember my parental control code on my tv, and now i can't watch spongebob squarepants... do you have any tips to aid memorization

***good to see you again Lady Ellen

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2242
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/22/2006 1:27:10 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

i can't remember my parental control code on my tv, and now i can't watch spongebob squarepants... do you have any tips to aid memorization

***good to see you again Lady Ellen - aww! Thanks!


In the old days, boys were driven around the parish boundary being whipped all the way, known as beating the bounds. The idea was that the whipping would aid their memorisation of where the parish started and finished. I suggest doing something similar in this case, with the TV remote, so that it remembers the code for you.

Given the hype about the Da Vinci code, I went searching for descendants of Jesus in my home town, along with coded references to them living here. Get this - we have a street called Sion xxxx, and a Trinity Court housing development, and several churches with patterned tile floors.How do I best make a few million off the back of this ridiculous load of nonsense?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 2243
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/22/2006 1:57:06 AM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Write an insipid, uninspired novel that's bulky enough to appeal to people who like to spend their holidays on the beach, but which is in all reality just a rewrite of your previous novel.

We have two kids who constantly get in the way of our play sessions, can anyone suggest kid-friendly excuses for why I'm requiring their mum to eat out of a bowl with her knickers down and her hands cuffed behind her?


_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2244
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/22/2006 3:56:39 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		tell them she lost a bet about whether Blastoise could beet charizard or not.

I've taken my attitudes as a pokemon trainer into the world of BDSM, is this a good thing?

_____________________________

Lets roleplay - I'll get the D20s
"Freud was...sorry if this is an over-generalisation...A coke addled kiddy-fiddler" Alan Moore
"A Lady must always remember her station in life - and be prepared to change at Acton Town"

(in reply to Fitznicely)
Profile   Post #: 2245
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/22/2006 5:22:18 AM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		ROFL! That answer is perfect for our kids, too!

Yes, I thnk there's room for a Pokemon niche in the BDSM world, for sure! Keeping your slaves in little red & white balls, though...

OK, my living room is really dark and my webcam sessions can best be described as "Atmospheric". Any tips?


_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

(in reply to RubberWitch)
Profile   Post #: 2246
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/22/2006 9:08:45 AM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		Call yourself a Goth vampire and rake in the moolah.

I lost my favorite pair of handcuffs... any ideas?

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to Fitznicely)
Profile   Post #: 2247
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/22/2006 9:28:30 AM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Do something illegal outside a Police Station. When you're released, ask them for the pair they used on you.

I've just discovered a fleet of flying saucers poised to swoop down to earth and enslave all of our womenfolk. What do I do??


_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 2248
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/22/2006 9:32:23 AM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		Well if you can't beat 'em.. join 'em.

My apartment has a "no pets" rule. How do I get around this?

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to Fitznicely)
Profile   Post #: 2249
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/22/2006 9:38:20 AM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Persuade the residents committe she's actually your girlfriend.

I've caught myself leaving the cartoon channels on when the kids leave the room. Is there any hope for me?


_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 2250
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/23/2006 6:38:57 AM   
SohCahToa


Posts: 563
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline 		There is always hope but you need to enrol in a strict course of cartoon aversion therapy. The course would involve such cartoon elements as: jumping off a canyon, shoving sticks of dynamite in various orifices, painting black doorways on the side of mountains and running into them head first and getting run over by them things they use to compact tarmac with. It’s a two week course I’m told.

In order to move on with my life I need to win the lottery how can I shorten the astronomical odds of winning?

_____________________________

ڪ০મ໒คमՇՕΔ
- Pax vobiscum -

"Come ride with me through the veins of history. I'll show you a God who falls asleep on the job." - Muse

(in reply to Fitznicely)
Profile   Post #: 2251
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/23/2006 7:28:16 AM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SohCahToa
In order to move on with my life I need to win the lottery how can I shorten the astronomical odds of winning?


i believe i would recommend you go and reconstruct Ben Franklin's kite and key experiment... after beating the odds of getting hit by lightning a dozen or so times, you're bound to pick the right numbers

this morning i am unsure of direction, what do you think?

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to SohCahToa)
Profile   Post #: 2252
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/23/2006 8:46:05 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		North

I can't decide whether I feel more drawn to the cult of cthulu or thor. any helpful advice?

_____________________________

Lets roleplay - I'll get the D20s
"Freud was...sorry if this is an over-generalisation...A coke addled kiddy-fiddler" Alan Moore
"A Lady must always remember her station in life - and be prepared to change at Acton Town"

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 2253
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/23/2006 10:40:16 AM   
SohCahToa


Posts: 563
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline 		I would read the pamphlets that each offer so that you can make an informed choice. On the one hand you have the hammer on the other some green slimy thing. Now if each tentacle held a hammer you could create a new cult i.e. ‘The cult of cthorulu’.

I seem to have no direction in life apart from backwards what should I do?

_____________________________

ڪ০મ໒คमՇՕΔ
- Pax vobiscum -

"Come ride with me through the veins of history. I'll show you a God who falls asleep on the job." - Muse

(in reply to RubberWitch)
Profile   Post #: 2254
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/23/2006 1:12:29 PM   
LadySeraphina


Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline 		Turn around.

I want to be the Avatar, but I can't seem to do more than break wind, what do I do?

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to SohCahToa)
Profile   Post #: 2255
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/23/2006 1:58:55 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySeraphina
I want to be the Avatar, but I can't seem to do more than break wind, what do I do?


find a crowded elevator and enjoy

if it weren't for the fact i'm submissive, i think i'd make a great Dom... is being dominant really important to being a good Dom?


_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to LadySeraphina)
Profile   Post #: 2256
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/23/2006 3:45:23 PM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		No, being a good Dom is just about how big your whip is.

Is there such a thing as a TV that's too big?

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 2257
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/23/2006 5:05:43 PM   
LadySeraphina


Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fitznicely

Is there such a thing as a TV that's too big?



When you start to see what's causing that jock itch, your TV is too big.

Is it hubris to create your own coat of arms?

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to Fitznicely)
Profile   Post #: 2258
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/23/2006 6:20:07 PM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		No, it's Heraldry.

Does my bum look big in this?

(in reply to LadySeraphina)
Profile   Post #: 2259
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/23/2006 6:41:21 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		well it does manage to hide an entire sun... draw your own conclusions

sooo PBM, do you find it presumptuous when somebody uses a suggestive picture of themselves as an avatar in these boards? *edit - i must be metabolizing gray matter*

errr.. wrong game... i really want to cut my hair, but Ma'am says no, but i really wanna cut it, but Ma'am says no what should i do?

< Message edited by darchChylde -- 10/23/2006 6:53:08 PM >

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to Fitznicely)
Profile   Post #: 2260
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All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice Page: <<   < prev  111 112 [113] 114 115   next >   >>
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