RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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willow06 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/6/2006 7:47:51 AM)

Intervention!  Here's the number for the nearest chapter of PA (Punners Anonymous).  There's a simple 12-step program.  You will return to normality... or ELSE!

I have strange dreams and wish I was a lucid dreamer so that I could change them.  What should I do?



darchChylde -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/6/2006 8:07:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: willow06

I have strange dreams and wish I was a lucid dreamer so that I could change them.  What should I do?



get yourself a pack of Pop Rocks and a roll of Wintergreen Lifesavers, dump the whole pack of Pop Rocks in your mouth and chew on 3 Lifesavers at the same time... i don't know if it helps with your dreaming, but it's alot of fun

for some reason i can't masturbate after eating a basket of habenero hot wings, please help



xhoneyx -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/6/2006 10:33:06 PM)

masturbate WHILE you eat them..and you can slowly work your way up to masturbating after you eat them..*^_^*

i have to leave home for a couple days because of termites..where should i go??



willow06 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/6/2006 11:14:00 PM)

Go live in a termite mound.  Turnabout's fair.

I left the balcony door open, and now my bedroom is freezing.  What should I do?



FurysEmbers -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/7/2006 7:04:32 PM)

turn on the heater as high as it will go and aim it at the pesky wind coming through the window.

i keep losing socks in the dryer....should i just stop washing them?



darchChylde -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/7/2006 7:08:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FurysEmbers

i keep losing socks in the dryer....should i just stop washing them?


not at all, you should always put an odd sock in every laundry load to confuse the sock muncher

i burn my hair whenever i light a cigarette in the fireplace, any advice?



FurysEmbers -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/7/2006 7:19:41 PM)

rub alcochol all over your face so it burns that instead.

how do i keep the water in my bathtub



PrimitiveLogic -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/7/2006 7:23:16 PM)

Stuff an extra hamster in the drain...

My car's brakes need adjusting...should I be concerned?



darchChylde -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/7/2006 7:26:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrimitiveLogic

My car's brakes need adjusting...should I be concerned?



not at all... i've yet to meet anyone or anything that was truly well-adjusted... i think you should accept the world as it comes to you and take those turns really fast and see if things work out on their own

people throw things at me when i sing, what should i do?



FurysEmbers -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/7/2006 7:31:08 PM)

carry a garbage bag with you and thank them by singing another song

i soak my panties while i am at work....how many times should i masturbate to solve this?



darchChylde -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/7/2006 8:09:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FurysEmbers

i soak my panties while i am at work....how many times should i masturbate to solve this?


baaah... stop wearing panties at work, i did a long time ago; also keep an egg in and on

i have a somewhat slim build, and this makes my belly appear larger than it is... what can i do about my fat tummy?



willow06 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/7/2006 9:44:55 PM)

Buy a fun house mirror that makes your middle look small and your head and feet big.

I have no life and am bored.  What should I do?



Yang4yin -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/7/2006 10:58:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: willow06

I have no life and am bored.  What should I do?



Decide you're really a masochistic submissive and drop by my house soon.


I ought to get a haircut, but I don't feel like it. What should I do?



willow06 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/7/2006 11:56:00 PM)

Get a goat and let it graze on your head.  Then you have a lovely pet and a haircut.

I'm considering being a masochistic submissive and going to Yang's place, but I don't know where it is.  What should I do?



Yang4yin -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/7/2006 11:59:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: willow06

I'm considering being a masochistic submissive and going to Yang's place, but I don't know where it is.  What should I do?



Head north to North Carolina and then go online and send him an email asking for further directions.


I'm sudenly feeling aroused. What should I do?



willow06 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/8/2006 12:06:00 AM)

Dude.  Any 12-year old boy could tell you that.

I'm suddenly worried about being associated with pedophiles.  What should I do?



Yang4yin -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/8/2006 12:08:33 AM)

You could always hide out at my house and get a totally different reputation.



I'm getting sleepy, but I'm enjoying this new line of advice I'm giving. What should I do?



willow06 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/8/2006 12:16:49 AM)

Get back online for more advice!

I've just lost my silly threads partner (is that silly describing the threads or the partner??).  What should I do?



LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/8/2006 11:52:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: willow06
I've just lost my silly threads partner (is that silly describing the threads or the partner??).  What should I do?



Start dressing normally instead. Clothes maketh the man, and all that, so silly threads were never doing you any favours anyway.

My colleague just went to Latvia, her home land, and there the cigarettes are less than a dollar a packet. When will there be a British winner at Wimbledon?

E



willow06 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/8/2006 12:02:19 PM)

Spoon.

I'm worried that the internet is my only true friend.  What should I do?



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