RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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forcemarch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/5/2006 6:37:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyEllen My freezer is full of human body parts. I'm really not sure how long I can keep them in there without them going off - how can I find out? E Here's is my suggestion Unplug your frig. Every hour on the hour open up the freezer and take a good wif. Document this data. Make notes on the odor and the condition of the parts, observe decay, fluid loss and appearence of maggots. After 30 days throw out the contents of your freezer, clean and restock. That's one way.... I have to travel next week for work. I don't fear flying but I just hate feeling like a sheep on a cattle car. Suggestions?

willow06 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/5/2006 6:47:47 PM)
Dress up in a wolf costume. Embrace the identity. Eat some fellow passengers. I want to invest money now, but I have no money to invest. What should I do?

CreoleCook -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/5/2006 7:57:35 PM)
invest other people's money... thats what most people do anyway. I need sleep... any suggestions on how to stay awake?

willow06 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/5/2006 8:39:24 PM)
Take a bottle's worth of No-Doze. There's a guy I think is cute in one of my classes. What should I do?

darchChylde -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/5/2006 10:05:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: willow06 There's a guy I think is cute in one of my classes. What should I do? kick him in the shins whenever he looks at you, tell your big brother to beat him up, and tell him how much you like him at the 20 year reunion whenever i go to my favorite play club, i get a larger red/black/blue rash on my butt, how can i avoid this?

willow06 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/5/2006 10:42:38 PM)
Paint your butt yellow. You'll get a whole new color combination! whines I don't want to wait 20 years for the cute guy, but I don't think he likes me that way. What should I do? (don't say 'get my friend to ask him')

Bluebird -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/5/2006 10:51:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: willow06 whines I don't want to wait 20 years for the cute guy, but I don't think he likes me that way. What should I do? (don't say 'get my friend to ask him') You've got the kitty ears & tail - apply your feline nature and POUNCE him! I need to lose weight but really have a sweet tooth (teeth). Any suggestions?

RazorJAK -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/5/2006 10:57:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bluebird I need to lose weight but really have a sweet tooth (teeth). Any suggestions? Go to a dentist and have the sweet tooth removed. Then have him replace it with an asparagus tooth. A (much) younger lesbian associate of mine has overtly "hinted" at wanting me to mentor her. Advice?

Tobes -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/5/2006 11:05:00 PM)
Agree to it. Tell her that she's going about it the wrong way but, in time and with your tutelage, she'll learn that hinting should be subtle. I'm trying to write a musical but I'm afraid my upstairs neighbor will complain about the noise. What should I do?

PrincessAmanda -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/5/2006 11:08:52 PM)
throw rocks at the next door dog to get him barking loudly so they don't hear your noise .. "My male dog keeps humping My Mothers male dog... what should I do?"

Bluebird -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/5/2006 11:12:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PrincessAmanda "My male dog keeps humping My Mothers male dog... what should I do?" Get them some nice doggy lube. My cat likes to hack up hairballs in front of company. How can I gracefully clean up the mess?

willow06 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/5/2006 11:30:24 PM)
Turn it into a musical production where dancers come in from other rooms and a celebrity sings about the angst of cat hairballs. One of my bunnies seems to have emotional issues because she digs compulsively at people when upset. What should I do?

Tobes -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/5/2006 11:32:34 PM)
Fire. Just set something ablaze (wallpaper's a favorite of mine) and while your guests scramble to extinguish it, you stealthily remove the offending mess. I threw rocks at the dog but now it's gently mauling me. Any follow-up advice?

darchChylde -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/5/2006 11:38:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tobes I threw rocks at the dog but now it's gently mauling me. Any follow-up advice? get some peanut butter and rub it strategically on your clothes/body... enjoy the neighbor children in my apartment complex like to play on the steps just outside my door... what can i do to stop them?

willow06 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/6/2006 12:31:59 AM)
Build a trapdoor on the steps so that the kids will fall into a pit of robo-sharks. I think my brain is being taken over by online comics. What should I do?

koimizu -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/6/2006 2:02:18 AM)
gather them together and revel in the might of you useless knowledge of online comic trivia then try to follow the wise teachings of each one. Don't worry about reality, it is just a nuisance to most people anyway. How do i keep my cable from going out during power outages?

RubberWitch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/6/2006 2:38:11 AM)
buy a generator, and record a long play cassette with random bits of shows. then, when the power goes out, hook up the generator, and whack in the video.. voila, instant "I can't believe it's all re-runs!" I can never get my hair to stand up like anime characters when I do costumes.. any advice?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/6/2006 3:01:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RubberWitch I can never get my hair to stand up like anime characters when I do costumes.. any advice? Buy a generator and get it working. Wet your fingers, and start playing with the output socket. If you survive, you will find your hair stands up quite naturally. I'm bored of muesli for breakfast. What else could I try? E

CreoleCook -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/6/2006 3:06:34 AM)
4 words... Vavoom extra long hold. I've been awake for 96 hours, thanks to an overdose of No-doze.... and am now ready to sleep.... any suggestions on where to sleep?

RubberWitch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/6/2006 3:14:43 AM)
right on the very very edge of your mattress. you'll soon drop off I seem to be punning uncontrollably. help

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