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RE: Sexual Inhibition - 11/12/2006 6:08:56 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

(Of course some smart ass  probably nabbed it in time.)


LOL.. as my Lord says, being a smart ass is preferable to being a dumb ass  *eg*

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Sexual Inhibition - 11/12/2006 6:11:23 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

Ha!!!

I knew you were there!


He has a couple extra pair of eyes watching the boards for him so he doesn't miss a thing  *w*

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Sexual Inhibition - 11/12/2006 7:25:09 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

Ha!!!

I knew you were there!


He has a couple extra pair of eyes watching the boards for him so he doesn't miss a thing  *w*


I feel so naked and exposed! 

<Hey,  this posting stuff isn't so bad afterall.>

:)

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Sexual Inhibition - 11/13/2006 8:10:33 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aleshaDreams

amayos, I always enjoy your responses :)


Thank you, Alesha. I appreciate the compliment.

(in reply to aleshaDreams)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Sexual Inhibition - 11/13/2006 10:37:14 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		If a strange woman came up to you in a bar and demanded you tell her your most shameful fantasy, would you think this is appropriate? I know damn well that if it were some dom who was demanding this, everyone would be calling him a HNG and quite correctly.

Yes it is good to not be ashamed of your naked body, no it is not good to show it off at the mall.

Basically your subconscious didn't feel safe talking to her. Listen to your gut. Just because someone self identifies on the toppy side of the slash is no reason for you to go beyond your comfort level in a first time meet.

After all if you said you were trying to get over your fear and agree to walk into her house blindfolded before meeting with nobody knowing where you were, people would not be saying that was your right and we shouldn't try to talk you out of it. It may be your right but it still would be incredibly ill advised.

(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Sexual Inhibition - 11/13/2006 11:40:36 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline
quote:

Tonight i made a painful discovery.  While conversing with a new Mistress who has shown interest in training me, i found that i could barely talk about my sexual fantasies and masturbate.  i was so embarrassed that i started to cry.
 
Isn't it interesting how the mind works.... on one hand you have these fantasies, probably masturbate furiously to them in private and would like nothing more than to be acting them out with a trusted someone...but to express them freely is frought with guilt and insecurity... what will they think of me...
 
quote:

The Mistress was totally understanding and was not angered or annoyed.  i know that if She decides to take me as Her sub, She will address this matter.
 
Kewl ... and I'm sure she will if she was to take you on.  The beauty of bondage (mental/physical) is in how it allows us to explore further the things we are want to, alleviating our guilt, and giving us a safe haven to explore ... the freedom to express our deepest, darkest wants.
 
quote:

Now i understand it is very commonplace in the D/s lifestyle to be request to do this on demand. 
Unlike others who have said it isn't common place, I am going to state differently that it is ...controlling, exploring, and delving into someone's sensuality is very much a part of what we do ... working with a submissive to vocalise his/her fantastiscal needs and not too feel shamed by them is quite the trip...and thus, yes there is often the request for a sub to do this on demand by their dominant.
 
quote:

i would like to show initiative and begin the search for help in this matter. .... Any advice, books, essays, or tips? 

 
Try the Ethical Slut
 
Good luck on your journey ...







_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to niatiika)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Sexual Inhibition - 11/13/2006 12:01:10 PM   
vield


Posts: 354
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		This is an interesting topic, for we wonderful humans can find so very many ways to disrupt our finding the needs we seek.

This particular situation sounds like one of two situations to me.
One is you are so incredibly overwhelmed by the attraction of this dominant's charisma that you are kind of frozen.... so gvery afraid to say or do anything for fear of blowing this one.

The second is actually a bit more likely, in my opinion. Sometimes the right combination of thoughts, stimulation or sensations may bring up something like a flashback, something people often call a landmine in the scene. Some combination of her energy, maybe her scent, her tone, her accent, whatever will paralyze you as it reminds you of something heavy from your past.

You  may have LOVED doing the same stuff with many others before, but this time with her it is a limit right now.

In my case a domme friend asked me to submit to soft silky domination, including lingerie. That was her thing. It was not mine, but I thought I was OK with it, and had been at other times with others. With her though it felt like I was having a bad panic attack to even think about it.

Going over this with kinky friends I came to realize that the block came from some heavy sexual abuse I went through as a very young child. Once I realized this and talked it over, the block or intuition disappeared.

As always your mileage may vary.

Vield

(in reply to Jasmyn)
Profile   Post #: 47
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