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culareD -> New with a question... (8/21/2012 10:23:44 AM)
Hello all, I am a fairly new-to-the-scene sub with a question... When a potential dom asks you to post on your profile "under consideration" what should one do? We have only been talking for a short time over CM...your thoughts are most welcome and appreciated. Grateful to be here, ~ culare'd “It's hard for an educated woman to turn her head off. That's part of the joy of being a submissive. None of the decisions are yours. When you can't refuse anything and can't even move, those voices in your head go silent. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel.” ― Cherise Sinclair, Dark Citadel

GreedyTop -> RE: New with a question... (8/21/2012 10:25:43 AM)
Crossposting is verboten. you might want to edit this post to "NM".

Hillwilliam -> RE: New with a question... (8/21/2012 10:27:48 AM)
If he does it without getting to know you really well, you should assume he is a wanker and treat him as such. A lot of wannabe doms ask subs to put "Under consideration" on their profile kinda like my dog pees on trees. They're 'marking territory' and hoping that one of them might eventually send him pictures of her naked girly bits under threat of "If you don't, you're not a true sub".

LadyHibiscus -> RE: New with a question... (8/21/2012 10:29:08 AM)
ARE you "under consideration"? Dating? Going steady? If none of that is true, he's just trying to put you in the "off limits" area.

SpaceSpank -> RE: New with a question... (8/21/2012 11:29:10 AM)
This. "Under consideration" should mean just that. That you are both serious about each other and are letting people know (the ones who read anyways) that you may shortly be no longer looking. If you feel this is true and you're both committed to exploring things with each other, go for it. Although you need not use those exact words, or you could even just hide your profile if you wish (can still send mails). But if you feel like he's getting way too ahead of himself, and is just trying to curb off potential matches in an attempt to corral you to him... Then I'd say you should probably tell him no, and may in fact be better off if you just let this one "get" awa. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus ARE you "under consideration"? Dating? Going steady? If none of that is true, he's just trying to put you in the "off limits" area.

kiwisub12 -> RE: New with a question... (8/21/2012 11:42:07 AM)
If you do it - so should he!.................... Whats good for the goose is good for the gander............... The dom can be just as much under consideration as a sub. Infact given the really big gap in the numbers of doms to subs, subs can consider a lot more doms than doms can subs.

angelikaJ -> RE: New with a question... (8/21/2012 12:26:55 PM)
I view under consideration to mean that he is under your consideration as well. So, if this is your trial period, it is likewise his. Try to work out for yourself what qualities and characteristics are important to you: Honesty? Integrity? Patience? Make your own list of what values and qualities are most important to you. Make a list of your red flags. Listen to your gut. Be honest with yourself. He may be the first serious contact you have had here; he won't be your last.

littlewonder -> RE: New with a question... (8/21/2012 12:34:58 PM)
If someone saw me as "under consideration", I would tell him to consider me gone. You either want me or you don't. Make up your mind.

JeffBC -> RE: New with a question... (8/21/2012 12:36:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder If someone saw me as "under consideration", I would tell him to consider me gone. You either want me or you don't. Make up your mind. lolololol. How very helpful of you to offer that one last bit of service on your way out the door.

CRYPTICLXVI -> RE: New with a question... (8/21/2012 12:36:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder If someone saw me as "under consideration", I would tell him to consider me gone. You either want me or you don't. Make up your mind. I like you LW... this 'question" has been posted everywhere. Also, I find "under consideration" as mostly online shit, similar to "under protection";... might exist but I have my doubts.

littlewonder -> RE: New with a question... (8/21/2012 12:38:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder If someone saw me as "under consideration", I would tell him to consider me gone. You either want me or you don't. Make up your mind. lolololol. How very helpful of you to offer that one last bit of service on your way out the door. What can I say...I like to be helpful.

yourdarkdesire -> RE: New with a question... (8/21/2012 12:40:05 PM)
I was stupid enough to fall for this when I joined the site. Major major major mistake!

Kana -> RE: New with a question... (8/21/2012 12:42:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: yourdarkdesire I was stupid enough to fall for this when I joined the site. Major major major mistake! Obviously you need protection and mentoring. Please, let me offer my services...[8D]

kalikshama -> RE: New with a question... (8/21/2012 1:31:08 PM)
quote: I was stupid enough to fall for this when I joined the site. Don't feel bad. I did too.

JeffBC -> RE: New with a question... (8/21/2012 2:15:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama Don't feel bad. I did too. Well hey.. since Kana's busy... need some protection? Just recently I lined up Ishtarr and poise as my official protectors (I got too busy to woo athena as I remember). If you're feeling the need for some protection I'm sure I could loan one or both of them out to you :)

LaTigresse -> RE: New with a question... (8/21/2012 2:25:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: culareD Hello all, I am a fairly new-to-the-scene sub with a question... When a potential dom asks you to post on your profile "under consideration" what should one do? We have only been talking for a short time over CM...your thoughts are most welcome and appreciated. Grateful to be here, ~ culare'd “It's hard for an educated woman to turn her head off. That's part of the joy of being a submissive. None of the decisions are yours. When you can't refuse anything and can't even move, those voices in your head go silent. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel.” ― Cherise Sinclair, Dark Citadel If you haven't actually met the fella, I would hope you laughed and when you finally caught your breath from the laughter........told him to take a long walk on a short pier. I actually had one young lady that I exchanged a few email with on the other side ASK ME if she could put on her profile that she was under consideration by me. She said she was hoping to cut down on the email she was getting. I gave it some thought and came to the conclusion that, yeah, we were both considering one another so technically it wouldn't be utter bullshit if she felt it was important to her. So I wrote her back and told her that, if she thought it would help with her email issues, and that technically we were at the very beginning of the considering process........why not! Apparently that was not the answer she was hoping for as I don't think I ever got another email from her.

GreedyTop -> RE: New with a question... (8/21/2012 2:38:28 PM)
Her loss, LaT!! and your win :)

onceshattered -> RE: New with a question... (8/21/2012 2:48:06 PM)
FR alright.. here's a little bit of a different perspective (and I'm kind of expecting the firing squad but I'm feeling particularly brave today). I'm also new. New to the lifestyle and new-ish to the site. If one looks at my profile here or on fetlife, it does state "under the protection of..." Having come from another online medium, I was well aware of what it means/implies within the context of online interactions. I decided to accept the offer and place it on my profile because of three reasons. 1) I, personally, like to concentrate on one person at a time. So if I'm talking to a prospective Dom and I think that the conversations are taking a more serious turn, I do want to give that Dom my full attention. I feel like if I'm talking to more than one, then I'm not really being fair to Him or to myself and I want to be able to give whatever it might be a fair chance to develop. I don't like the term consideration even though it is basically the process that is happening on both of our sides. Plus it's just super embarrassing to confuse facts between multiple people. 2) While it doesn't dissuade ALL Dom-types, I've found that it does stop some people from contacting me. Sort of a - "I'm currently considering someone and temporarily off the market." Some have suggested just hiding my profile, but I don't really like that option because I do like to participate on this side, and sometimes, I've found that people from this side check out my profile. It's just nice to know who you're having a discussion with. 3) He asked me to. To me... it's a small act of submission done in good faith. All in all, as many have said here, it's up to you whether you accept or not. I have my reasons for doing it, and I am comfortable with those reasons. While some people think it ridiculous, I use it to my advantage. Just realize that yes, some will see it listed on your profile and consider you "off-limits." If you're okay with that, then I say... why the hell not? Sure it's more commonly used in online mediums but really, that's where we are - online. If you would rather continue talking to multiple perspective Doms, then politely refuse and explain why. All a matter of your comfort level.

GreedyTop -> RE: New with a question... (8/21/2012 2:57:38 PM)
shattered, here is the difference I seein what you have said in comparison to most who toss up the "under protection of" thing... You are NOT seeing this as a HAPPY EVER AFTER thing. You are going into ALL of this with wide open, and QUESTIONING eyes. You are self aware, and actively looking to become even moreso. You are NOT taking things as GOSPEL until you have questioned, questioned and questioned again. The Force is strong within you, Young Jedi!! :)

onceshattered -> RE: New with a question... (8/21/2012 3:02:27 PM)
:) Thank you muchly GreedyTop! I can learn much from the experiences of others and if I can help someone look at a situation from a different perspective then that's even better.

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