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In reference to control. - 7/25/2010 1:09:25 PM   
KurtAllen


Posts: 40
Joined: 7/9/2010
Status: offline 		We hear and see dominants use the word control often and I suggest some if not most confuse contro with controlling.

In the short time I have been on this site I have seen numerous dominant reactionary outbursts and stagering out of control angers surface and it seems to be the same small group all the time so I have to question what is this group of dominants understanding of the words self-control self- discipline and self respect?

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RE: In reference to control. - 7/25/2010 1:21:08 PM   
KariCloud


Posts: 74
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline 		Well, I'm not a dominant, but I would like to point out a fact that seems to often be overlooked online: dominants are people too. While I expect my dominants to have good self-control and self-discipline, I don't expect them to never get upset. I do expect them to be mature enough to accept their imperfections, though.

Online, I don't really care who claims to be dominant and who doesn't. Politeness, respect, and calmness go a long way towards making people interesting. The type of dominants I like don't show dominance until we've agreed to be so involved with each other, they just act like regular human beings before then.

(in reply to KurtAllen)
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RE: In reference to control. - 7/25/2010 2:35:03 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Oh for fuck's sake - how dare you come on here and question the mighty ones with your shocking spelling and grammar. You've left me in such a rage I want to go out and hurt something small and furry. Grrr.

<Joking of course, well - except for the spelling and grammar ;-) >

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to KurtAllen)
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RE: In reference to control. - 7/25/2010 3:37:27 PM   
adx


Posts: 102
Joined: 1/6/2010
Status: offline 		Self control the ability to make my self act  in a way that is conducive to achieving my goals and fulfilling my desires. Self discipline is near identical in definition. Self respect? that Is how feel about my ends and means.   

(in reply to crazyml)
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RE: In reference to control. - 7/25/2010 3:41:24 PM   
interlocutor


Posts: 68
Joined: 3/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KurtAllen
In the short time I have been on this site I have seen numerous dominant reactionary outbursts and stagering out of control angers surface and it seems to be the same small group all the time so I have to question what is this group of dominants understanding of the words self-control self- discipline and self respect?


Hmm maybe I'm not looking in the same place you are, I haven't noticed what you have. Maybe however, since terminology is pretty much moot what ever you think dominant mean is not what they think it means. If you don't like the way they do things you are free to refrain from interacting with them. For better or for worse in this place people get to define themselves however they want. You don't have to agree with their definition, but it doesn't do any good to dispute it either.

So this means some one can stamp their foot, throw a tantrum and demand their way, and call that dominance. You don't have to agree, but questioning their "dominance" is a pointless waste of time.

(in reply to KurtAllen)
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RE: In reference to control. - 7/25/2010 3:45:32 PM   
Firebirdseeking


Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		Its not your imagination. I have met my share of them on line here. Once I conversed with a so called Dom and he was drinking himself into a drunken state as he was talking with me, and then he shouted " You're topping from the bottom, and I DONT LIKE THAT! You WILL call me MasterD.."



Yeah, right.

(in reply to KurtAllen)
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RE: In reference to control. - 7/25/2010 4:00:55 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KurtAllen

We hear and see dominants use the word control often and I suggest some if not most confuse contro with controlling.

In the short time I have been on this site I have seen numerous dominant reactionary outbursts and stagering out of control angers surface and it seems to be the same small group all the time so I have to question what is this group of dominants understanding of the words self-control self- discipline and self respect?



How well do you think you can tell if a person is angry or not from your position behind a screen?

Why then if they were in fact getting upset about something would that make it a bad situation? Are we suppose to be robots? Stoic and emotionless?

When it comes to being stoic...I hate complaining but to never show any emotion..Well that isn't me. I'm a living breathing and feeling human being. I get upset as well as a full range of other emotions..

I get pissed at times..Doesn't mean I'm breaking things or gonna beat someone silly for the infraction. Everyone looses their cool from time to time..Anyone who can stay perfectly non-reactionary their whole life has some detachment issues in my book.

Either that or they're trying to fool someone or themselves into thinking they are the coolest cat in the universe.

I say tell it to someone else cause I think it's a lie.



< Message edited by Icarys -- 7/25/2010 4:03:13 PM >

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

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(in reply to KurtAllen)
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RE: In reference to control. - 7/25/2010 4:14:10 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

I get pissed at times..Doesn't mean I'm breaking things or gonna beat someone silly for the infraction. Everyone looses their cool from time to time..Anyone who can stay perfectly non-reactionary their whole life has some detachment issues in my book.

True, but if someone continually flies off the handle during minor disagreements, I'm likely to think that they have anger management issues, regardless of their orientation. For the most part, all we have to go on here is the words that people type (unless we know them in meatlife), and we do judge by those words. Were someone I was interested in to think poorly of me due to my posts here, well that's fair enough. We probably wouldn't be a good match anyway.



_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
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(in reply to Icarys)
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RE: In reference to control. - 7/25/2010 4:31:21 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

Were someone I was interested in to think poorly of me due to my posts here, well that's fair enough. We probably wouldn't be a good match anyway.


This brings up an interesting point. I've said something similar more than a few times..I find the people who do "disagree with me" aren't the type I would be attracted to in the first place..or people that just don't fit the bill for any number of reasons as good friends..

No wonder they don't "like how like how I do things"

Now if someone I cared for had something to say..I would probably want to listen because I'd know it came from a place of love and not some sort of bad place.


Edited to add:

In fact it's usually a good indication that "life is good" if they do disagree with me


< Message edited by Icarys -- 7/25/2010 4:34:02 PM >

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to WyldHrt)
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RE: In reference to control. - 7/25/2010 5:39:04 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Damn, I must have missed all the drama. I haven't seen numerous outbursts by a group of repeat offenders. I have seen people being people. I've seen controlled snarkiness. And there are people I disagree with, but that doesn't make them out of control.

Beyond that, do you really believe op that anybody is about to post to this saying "I am an out of control dominate"? Or is this another one of those posts designed to point out the op's superiority? Hey, it says cynic and it means it.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Icarys)
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RE: In reference to control. - 7/25/2010 6:05:59 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KurtAllen

We hear and see dominants use the word control often and I suggest some if not most confuse contro with controlling.

In the short time I have been on this site I have seen numerous dominant reactionary outbursts and stagering out of control angers surface and it seems to be the same small group all the time so I have to question what is this group of dominants understanding of the words self-control self- discipline and self respect?


I used to wonder the same until I saw their counterpart. And then it all made sense. That's really what it boils down to. One person's out of control is humor to someone else. My standard is less forgiving and decorum is a must. I don't draw a distinction between behavior on the Internet or outside of it. If he cannot provide an image worth emulating I have no use for him. Opinions differ on what that entails.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to KurtAllen)
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RE: In reference to control. - 7/25/2010 6:44:17 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline 		Hello. My name is Icarys..I'm an out of control Dominant..


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: In reference to control. - 7/25/2010 7:03:01 PM   
Zevar


Posts: 801
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KurtAllen

We hear and see dominants use the word control often and I suggest some if not most confuse contro with controlling.

In the short time I have been on this site I have seen numerous dominant reactionary outbursts and stagering out of control angers surface and it seems to be the same small group all the time so I have to question what is this group of dominants understanding of the words self-control self- discipline and self respect?


How one man chooses to conduct himself will not likely be the same as the next man. Self-control meaning asserting personal control over interior thoughts and emotions to reduce conduct that contradicts the definition of self-control is not always congruent in the actions of some men.

Self-respect does not come by way of an easy path for some men. There are some who conform their ideology of self-respect to a pseudo sense of self-control, whereby avoiding the required self-examination that can lead to personal insight. When the choice is made to avoid self-examination the result naturally lends itself toward the exclusion of the possibility of genuine self-respect.

The reasons why some men behave in a manner that are contrary to what they claim to believe is a question that only the individual man can answer when he is ready to face his interior issues that produce incongruency thus a lack of integrity. No man or anyone for that fact faces their internal issues until they are ready.

Some paths take curves and turns that are unexpected. Eventually though a man must face himself else he remains outside of his true identity of manhood. The outcome being an ongoing lack of self-respect and self-control. You cannot control what you deny within yourself, nor can you respect what you avoid due to unresolved and unfounded fears.

Take care!

(in reply to KurtAllen)
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RE: In reference to control. - 7/25/2010 7:16:06 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

In the short time I have been on this site I have seen numerous dominant reactionary outbursts and stagering out of control angers surface and it seems to be the same small group all the time so I have to question what is this group of dominants understanding of the words self-control self- discipline and self respect?


Control starts within....

On the reverse side of that, if I am out of control over myself as a submissive sort of person, I can't give control to someone else because I do not possess it to give away

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KurtAllen)
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RE: In reference to control. - 7/26/2010 4:34:39 AM   
Mishna


Posts: 70
Joined: 11/1/2008
Status: offline 		To the OP, I know the type you are talking about. I watched my father, who is into BDSM (don't ask how I know), be that controlling dominant (read controlling abuser) throughout my life. It actually taught me a lot about what to watch out for in men who are in this lifestyle.

However, I don't think I've encountered too many of them around here, at least not with whom I've interacted enough for them to show their true colors. As others have said, if it bothers you, you are not forced to interact with them.

(in reply to KurtAllen)
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RE: In reference to control. - 7/26/2010 5:19:30 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Oh for fuck's sake - how dare you come on here and question the mighty ones with your shocking spelling and grammar. You've left me in such a rage I want to go out and hurt something small and furry. Grrr.

<Joking of course, well - except for the spelling and grammar ;-) >


he's not kidding either, look what he did to this poor hamster!




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to crazyml)
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RE: In reference to control. - 7/26/2010 8:09:55 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KurtAllen

We hear and see dominants use the word control often and I suggest some if not most confuse contro with controlling.

In the short time I have been on this site I have seen numerous dominant reactionary outbursts and stagering out of control angers surface and it seems to be the same small group all the time so I have to question what is this group of dominants understanding of the words self-control self- discipline and self respect?


Here we go again...someone who has been on this site a short time who has allegedly seen all these outbursts of "staggering out of control angers surface".  Really?  you must be referring to the dust-ups by several recently departed dominants over issues that got to them.  It happens to all of us...

Someone noted that true self-respect comes from analysis and knowledge of one's inner self and the ability to control that inner self, thus attaining self-control through knowledge of one's self.  I'd say that in addition, self-respect comes from not only analysis and knowledge of one's self but the willingness to try to change what should be changed.

That said...I have a fairly complete overview of myself from within.  I do believe in introspection and analysis, not just for submissives...some would vigorously nod their heads here...but for myself.  I want to know why I do the things I do...are my reasons genuinely geared towards whatever relationship I am dealing with, are they self=centered, or are they both?  etc., etc., etc.  BUT, knowledge and control of one's self is not...in my book, anyway...a barrier to being who and what I am.  It's a fine line between becoming self-controlling to the point of emotionless detachment and controlling your emotions and actions while still letting others see the "you" behind the dominance.  I get angry, I get said, I get happy, I get lonely, I get aroused, I get all the things that every other human does.  How I control each thing that I feel, what I do with each thing that I feel is what is important...

An expression of anger is but one example and let's be honest...words written on a screen have the "protection" of the screen between the writer and his audience.  The same person that will write a page-long rant because of the protection of the screen may not allow himself to rant like that in another person's presence because the artificiality no longer exists...now it is real.  And as someone noted in another manner, what some see as one thing, others see as something else.  One dominant's seeming 'out of control, onscreen rant' to you may be one dominant's 'controlled but righteous anger spilling forth' to another.  And it takes more than the reading of a few posts to know the difference. 

I am Creative Dominant and I, while not an out of control dominant like Icarys..., am a HUMAN dominant.




(in reply to KurtAllen)
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RE: In reference to control. - 7/26/2010 9:06:21 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KurtAllen

We hear and see dominants use the word control often and I suggest some if not most confuse contro with controlling.

In the short time I have been on this site I have seen numerous dominant reactionary outbursts and stagering out of control angers surface and it seems to be the same small group all the time so I have to question what is this group of dominants understanding of the words self-control self- discipline and self respect?


And a lot of the big bad Internet dominants are also s.i.n.g.l.e.

There's a reason for it.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to KurtAllen)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: In reference to control. - 7/26/2010 9:32:48 AM   
KurtAllen


Posts: 40
Joined: 7/9/2010
Status: offline 		Thank you all for your comments. It was an interesting read.
Kurt.

(in reply to porcelaine)
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RE: In reference to control. - 7/26/2010 10:21:28 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KurtAllen

We hear and see dominants use the word control often and I suggest some if not most confuse contro with controlling.

In the short time I have been on this site I have seen numerous dominant reactionary outbursts and stagering out of control angers surface and it seems to be the same small group all the time so I have to question what is this group of dominants understanding of the words self-control self- discipline and self respect?




We hear and see these things, but we do not hear and see them simultaneously, nor by the same people.



_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to KurtAllen)
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