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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/28/2006 4:39:37 PM   
Argentopal


Posts: 379
Joined: 12/12/2005
From: Central Texas / Hill Country
Status: offline 		no, but I have hot oil!


I have a sledgehammer and nails, but no Bushnells.  What should I do?

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 1961
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/28/2006 4:40:58 PM   
forcemarch


Posts: 184
Joined: 5/6/2004
Status: offline



 
Toasted Newt Melts
 
4 slices white bread, toasted

1/4 cup PHILADELPHIA Cream Cheese Spread


1/4 cup MIRACLE WHIP Dressing

4-8 newts drained, 

1/2 cup chopped celery

1/2 cup sliced green onions

1 cup KRAFT Shredded Cheddar Cheese










PREHEAT oven to 400°F. Place toast slices in single layer on baking sheet; set aside. Mix cream cheese spread and dressing in medium bowl until well blended. Stir in newts, celery and onions.


SPOON evenly onto toast slices; sprinkle with Cheddar cheese.
 
If you have any bushnells left over drink the rest of it.


BAKE 15 min. or until newts stop squirming. Season to taste.  


There is a woman in my work with very large breasts. I would like to touch them. (and I'm not even a "T" man)
I don't want to lose my job...what do you recommend?

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 1962
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/28/2006 4:43:11 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Kidnap her, have your way, then, when you get bored (6-8 years later) go back to work as if nothing had happened.

She'll never tell on you because you replaced newts with her in the above recipe.

I just made myself an accessory to murder.  Any suggestions?

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to forcemarch)
Profile   Post #: 1963
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/28/2006 5:10:55 PM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Murder the murderer.  Then you have bigger problems.

I seem to be thinking about dying people lately.  What should I do?


_____________________________

Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 1964
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/29/2006 1:25:23 AM   
KinkDomCum


Posts: 159
Joined: 8/23/2005
Status: offline 		get a bottle of rit dye in a bright color, fill water baloons with it and toss them at random passers by, Dyeing people will take you mind off dying people...

My kitten has worms, what should I do?

(in reply to willow06)
Profile   Post #: 1965
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/29/2006 1:36:46 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KinkDomCum
My kitten has worms, what should I do?



Its normal for a kitten to have one worm - this is known as a tom cat, a male of the species. However for it to have more than one worm is unusual and should be worthy of study. Put the kitten in a box and mail it to The Dr Mengele Trust, PO Box 429, Buenos Aires, Argentina

I love cats, but where I live on a busy junction, the danger to the poor beasty from traffic is far too much. What should I do?

E



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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to KinkDomCum)
Profile   Post #: 1966
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/29/2006 1:42:59 AM   
KinkDomCum


Posts: 159
Joined: 8/23/2005
Status: offline 		Take a road flare and strap it to its tail to increase visibity, note that this should only be lit outdoors, as it may pose a slight fire hazard

I want to train my sub to be a pony girl, but the local stable says they only accept horses, what should i do?

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 1967
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/29/2006 2:07:20 AM   
justanotheclaire


Posts: 113
Joined: 8/15/2006
From: cambs, uk
Status: offline 		Slowly switch all the horses in the stables for pony girls eventually they wont be able to tell the difference and take your sub on
btw lettign her grow her body hair may help

im a stark raving nympho and am having some hunky young men deliver a huge bed to my home today how do i restrain myself?

_____________________________

Bound by desire
Free through submission


(in reply to KinkDomCum)
Profile   Post #: 1968
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/29/2006 4:07:16 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: justanotheclaire

im a stark raving nympho and am having some hunky young men deliver a huge bed to my home today how do i restrain myself?


I cant help thinking you're approaching this situation from the wrong end. Really, you should ask, how will you restrain them so that you can indulge yourself to full advantage. I suggest using a two stage plan, the first of which involves a large bottle of Bushnells and a hammer if that doesnt work.

I'm under investigation for false imprisonment of two hunky guys in my bedroom. What should I do?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to justanotheclaire)
Profile   Post #: 1969
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/30/2006 9:54:07 AM   
forcemarch


Posts: 184
Joined: 5/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen


I'm under investigation for false imprisonment of two hunky guys in my bedroom. What should I do?

E


Invite the investigating Detective over for a friendly visit. Wear something sexy. Seduce him. Use your dominant powers to make him submit to you. Strip him down and put his own cuffs on. Put him in a pair of your sexy underwear. And smear bright red lipstick on his lips and face. Invite the rest of the Police department over. They will arrest you but now you will only have one count of false inprisonment not two.    

I find, as time goes by, I am being submissive to more and more women in real vanilla life. I don't know what I should do about this.  

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 1970
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/30/2006 1:01:56 PM   
tade


Posts: 663
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Tampa Bay, Florida
Status: offline 		Everytime you find yourself doing this you should flick yourself in the left nut while apologizing to the female in question. 1 of 2 things will happen, 1 you will find yourself a Mistress or 2 you will never see her again, and the cardio from running for your life is just a bonus.

I have Mushrooms, Vodka and black eyed peas in my kitchen and no idea what to make. Thoughts?

_____________________________

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson

It's a magical world Hobbes 'ole buddy. Let's go explorin'~ Calvin

(in reply to forcemarch)
Profile   Post #: 1971
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/30/2006 1:07:26 PM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Break into your neighbors' houses to gather ingredients to make something that resembles food.

One of my bunnies attacks people in their sleep.  What should I do?


_____________________________

Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to tade)
Profile   Post #: 1972
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/30/2006 2:18:16 PM   
CreoleCook


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		nothing... eventually  someone will notice the wabbit twacks....


I want it all.  How can I get it?


_____________________________

"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

(in reply to willow06)
Profile   Post #: 1973
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/30/2006 2:31:26 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreoleCook

I want it all.  How can I get it?



Look, worries like this are common, but it really is what you do with it, not what you have, which is important. But, if you really do want it tall, then get one of those vacuum pumps and take some viagra. You will then have a better chance of getting it too.

I would like to purchase some illegal narcotics, but the dealer doesnt trust me as I look too respectable and too much like a cop. What should I do?

E



_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to CreoleCook)
Profile   Post #: 1974
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/30/2006 2:38:46 PM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Get a Vice cop.  They're the real inside line.

I'm going to a bar to listen to a band, but I'm going early to avoid paying at the door.  How will I entertain myself until the band shows up?


_____________________________

Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 1975
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/30/2006 4:54:47 PM   
CreoleCook


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		pick out a guy you wouldn't mind training... the younger the better.  then start buying him shots...I gaurantee by the time the concert starts, he'll be all over you, and you can start his training at your leisure...

----------------------------------------------------------

My webcam keeps screwing up... how can I fix this?


_____________________________

"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

(in reply to willow06)
Profile   Post #: 1976
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/30/2006 7:29:07 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreoleCook

My webcam keeps screwing up... how can I fix this?



Possibly it is screwing up, because it needs screwing down. However the first place to check in all such instance is the nut in front of the keyboard. If this nut is too tight, (also known in PC jargon as well-oiled), then the rest of your set up is likely to be malfunctioning too. To fix this, remove the whis-key from the workstation. The problem should then fix itself within 24 hours or so.

Its 0330hrs here and I cant sleep. I've taken all the illegal narcotics I got from that cop, but its not working. What can I do?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to CreoleCook)
Profile   Post #: 1977
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/30/2006 9:31:34 PM   
Bluebird


Posts: 384
Joined: 2/17/2006
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Its 0330hrs here and I cant sleep. I've taken all the illegal narcotics I got from that cop, but its not working. What can I do?

E


Possibly you are a vampire and by attempting to sleep during the dark hours,  you are circumventing your true nature.  Simply wait until the sun rises; if you feel a tingling in your skin, then you know you are a vampire and can adjust your schedule accordingly.
 
I want to be done my Christmas shopping by Thanksgiving; what steps should I take?

_____________________________

Love is patient, love is kind. I am neither. Get over it.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 1978
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/30/2006 10:04:33 PM   
CreoleCook


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		buy everybody gift cards to wal-mart, since they aren't doing the layaway thing anyway.... saves time and hassle.  hell even buy one for the dog, or cat in your life....


I am worried about surgery on tuesday... what should I do to relieve the stress thats building up?


_____________________________

"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

(in reply to Bluebird)
Profile   Post #: 1979
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/1/2006 12:08:42 AM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Do some extreme sports like sky-diving or bungee-jumping.  I hear that they are quite relaxing, and if anything bad should happen... well, the previous surgery won't be foremost on your mind.

My friend is very drunk in the other room, and I'm very worried for my apartment.  What should I do?


_____________________________

Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to CreoleCook)
Profile   Post #: 1980
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