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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/24/2006 1:32:05 PM   
SohCahToa


Posts: 563
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline 		Grow a beard and chest hair maybe the chimp like men you refer to will find you more attractive then.

There is this woman I see on the way to work she always begs me for money. The fastest way to work always passes this middle class waster of a homeless person that can’t be bothered to get a real job. How can I avoid paying this toll?

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- Pax vobiscum -

"Come ride with me through the veins of history. I'll show you a God who falls asleep on the job." - Muse

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 1881
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/24/2006 2:04:57 PM   
CreoleCook


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		offer her a job.

I am tired of having an upset stomach... any suggestions on how to permanently get rid of this condition?


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"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

(in reply to SohCahToa)
Profile   Post #: 1882
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/24/2006 2:07:40 PM   
subinside


Posts: 233
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Toronto, ON
Status: offline 		you could try an iv of pepto bismol...

i just got a really bad haircut.. what should i do?

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~si

You want me to call You what?... i'll take it under advisement.

000-150-313

(in reply to CreoleCook)
Profile   Post #: 1883
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/24/2006 2:11:34 PM   
CreoleCook


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		shave your head, change your name to Sinead O Conner, and start singing in a falsetto voice...

----------------------------------------

I am looking for my car keys... any suggestions on where to find them?


_____________________________

"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

(in reply to subinside)
Profile   Post #: 1884
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/25/2006 8:21:37 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreoleCook
I am looking for my car keys... any suggestions on where to find them?



Check the wardrobe - if I had khakis, that'd be where I'd put 'em.

This thread almost dropped to page three; how can we ensure that more than the few of us still posting to it, get involved and keep it on page one?

E

(in reply to CreoleCook)
Profile   Post #: 1885
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/25/2006 9:14:27 AM   
ownedandcollared


Posts: 217
Joined: 1/21/2006
Status: offline 		Create a virus, ensuring that this is the only surviving thread.

i keep getting instant messeges from creepy guys. how do i deal with that?

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 1886
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/25/2006 10:06:55 AM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Act like a creepy guy yourself.

How do I pass Calculus II?


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Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to ownedandcollared)
Profile   Post #: 1887
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/25/2006 10:09:50 AM   
thegirlincharge


Posts: 68
Joined: 4/1/2006
Status: offline 		Blow the instructor...oh wait that's GOOD advice

(in reply to willow06)
Profile   Post #: 1888
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/25/2006 10:26:20 AM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Ewww... 

_____________________________

Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to thegirlincharge)
Profile   Post #: 1889
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/25/2006 11:23:29 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: willow06
How do I pass Calculus II?



First, you have to eat the textbook. I suggest using a paper shredder, then boiling the strips in some sort of soup. When soft, eat with pepper to taste. Around 24 hours later, you should pass it no problem. Not many people realise that this was the origin of The Reader's Digest - but people started reading it instead and well, the rest is history.

I'm constipated from eating the Encyclopedia Britannica. What should I do?

E 

(in reply to willow06)
Profile   Post #: 1890
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/25/2006 11:26:00 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		a hot sauce enema might work

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 1891
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/25/2006 11:29:48 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I'm constipated from eating the Encyclopedia Britannica. What should I do?



Go for some fibrous paperbacks, such as Anne Rice.

I want to transfer some fish from one tank to another, but seem to have misplaced my net.  How can I do it?

Yours,


benji

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Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 1892
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/25/2006 11:38:00 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji


I want to transfer some fish from one tank to another, but seem to have misplaced my net.  How can I do it?

Yours,


benji


This sounds like a lateral thinking exercise, so in that spirit, go to the aquarium supplies store and by more fish, exactly like the ones in tank A. Put these fish in tank B, then take tank A to the aquarium supplies store and sell the fish to the owner for resale to you the next time you need to change over.

I think I may be going as crazy as Benji; what should I do?

E

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 1893
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/25/2006 11:38:37 AM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Invite friends over and play "Bobbing for Fish".

I've got too much to do and not enough time to do it.  What should I do?


_____________________________

Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 1894
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/25/2006 11:41:19 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I think I may be going as crazy as Benji; what should I do?

E


ENJOY!

quote:



I've got too much to do and not enough time to do it.  What should I do? 



Never put off till tomorrow what you can forget about entirely.

The people at the fish store looked at me funny when I seemingly returned the same fish I had just bought, but insisted they were different.  So I got arrested and am now wearing a straight jacket.  How am I typing?

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 1895
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/25/2006 11:41:32 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: willow06

I've got too much to do and not enough time to do it.  What should I do?



Move to metric time. Then you will have 100 hours in every day.

I still think I'm getting as crazy as Benji - what should I do?
E

(in reply to willow06)
Profile   Post #: 1896
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/25/2006 11:42:47 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Benji - is that you next door? I'd tap on the walls, but theyre made of cushiony-stuff

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 1897
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/25/2006 9:22:02 PM   
Yang4yin


Posts: 1677
Joined: 7/26/2006
From: NC (USA)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I still think I'm getting as crazy as Benji - what should I do?


Send a long, detailed letter to Dr. Phil and beg to be on his TV show. I'm sure he'll have an answer for you.
 
 
I don't seem to have any trouble talking about sex, but carrying on a conversation about other things is often difficult. What should I do?

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 1898
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/25/2006 10:58:06 PM   
cherrypepsi


Posts: 53
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline 		Find someway to relate everything you say to sex. Fill any awkward pauses with inappropriate giggling.
 
I have a highly annoying pop song stuck in my head. What should I do?

(in reply to Yang4yin)
Profile   Post #: 1899
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/25/2006 11:06:00 PM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Pass it on to everyone you know.

My bunnies chew the carpet (which is BAD).  What should I do?


_____________________________

Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to cherrypepsi)
Profile   Post #: 1900
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