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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/21/2006 11:45:11 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Yang4yin

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

baddogbenji


Now there's a cry for help!


I think I just pissed off LaTigresse. What, if anything, should I do?


Two things.........it takes ALOT more to piss me off than that......that made me laugh.
The second thing would be the bad advise part......keep trying.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Yang4yin)
Profile   Post #: 1861
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/21/2006 11:55:46 AM   
Yang4yin


Posts: 1677
Joined: 7/26/2006
From: NC (USA)
Status: offline 		I'm getting good at pissing off people because my sense of humor is often misunderstood. What should I do - besides not posting anywhere?

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 1862
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/21/2006 12:50:35 PM   
SohCahToa


Posts: 563
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline 		Send all your future posts to an independent arbiter in order to be tested for acceptability and overall funniness. It’s what I do and hardly anything gets through.

I have acquired a £30 library fine and want to get out of paying if possible, any suggestions?

_____________________________

ڪ০મ໒คमՇՕΔ
- Pax vobiscum -

"Come ride with me through the veins of history. I'll show you a God who falls asleep on the job." - Muse

(in reply to Yang4yin)
Profile   Post #: 1863
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/21/2006 1:36:20 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Yang4yin

I'm getting good at pissing off people because my sense of humor is often misunderstood. What should I do - besides not posting anywhere?


Keep posting everywhere. If they can't take a joke, flog em!!


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Yang4yin)
Profile   Post #: 1864
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/21/2006 3:17:32 PM   
CreoleCook


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SohCahToa

I have acquired a £30 library fine and want to get out of paying if possible, any suggestions?


burn down the library....



---------------------------------------------------------------

I am looking for a set of chaps, anybody got any good ideas for where I should get em?


_____________________________

"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

(in reply to SohCahToa)
Profile   Post #: 1865
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/21/2006 3:42:58 PM   
LeMis


Posts: 9255
Joined: 9/24/2005
From: Florida
Status: offline 		Try posting an ad in an English Newspaper.

-----------------------

I want a cookie, but I really should avoid sweets, what can I do?


_____________________________

Make a mental note . . . oh, I see you're out of paper!
Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. — Lincoln

(in reply to CreoleCook)
Profile   Post #: 1866
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/21/2006 4:00:18 PM   
swtsouthernsub


Posts: 477
Joined: 12/23/2004
Status: offline 		eat a sugar free  cookie avoid the calories
i want to be married or at least have a live in partner besides my mother

< Message edited by swtsouthernsub -- 9/21/2006 4:01:26 PM >

_____________________________

DEBBIE
Messenger Of Truth
Let the words of my mouth and meditations of my heart,
be acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and redeemer
Psalms 19:14

Those with a closed mind live a sheltered life.

(in reply to LeMis)
Profile   Post #: 1867
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/21/2006 8:27:00 PM   
SweetlyTwisted


Posts: 206
Joined: 7/27/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		put a bunch of names in a hat, then pick out the one you are going to marry, make a voodoo doll that looks like him, finally cast a spell to make him marry you!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Lately, I have been enjoying my gf/wife's company more than my Master/husband's. I'm afraid he is getting jealous, what should I do to fix this?????


_____________________________

Sure, I'm twisted, but it's a good kind of twisted.

(in reply to swtsouthernsub)
Profile   Post #: 1868
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/22/2006 1:55:04 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetlyTwisted
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Lately, I have been enjoying my gf/wife's company more than my Master/husband's. I'm afraid he is getting jealous, what should I do to fix this?????



Stick a fork in each of them and in yourself. Now everyone has been forked equally there is no reason for any jealousy.

I am running out of forks; what should I do?
E

(in reply to SweetlyTwisted)
Profile   Post #: 1869
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/22/2006 3:16:07 AM   
pleasetame


Posts: 75
Joined: 12/20/2005
Status: offline 		Go to a wedding and put everyone at the tables forks in your purse.

What should I eat for breakfast?

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 1870
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/22/2006 6:48:57 AM   
SweetlyTwisted


Posts: 206
Joined: 7/27/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		here's the best breakfast in town .....take four eggs, crack and whip them. add a quarter cup of your favorite jam,  3 beggin' bacon strips crumbled from your dog's treat jar, and 8 green olives to the beaten eggs. pop in the microwave for 17 seconds. while that is cooking, toast 2 slices of your favorite bread. when the egg mixture beeps, break up the toast into small pieces and toss into the mixture. pop this into the microwave another 5 minutes. Then gobble it down with 24 oz. of V8 .... Enjoy!!!
~ ~ ~ ~
For some reason, my tummy aches after breakfast, what's the best remedy?


_____________________________

Sure, I'm twisted, but it's a good kind of twisted.

(in reply to pleasetame)
Profile   Post #: 1871
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/22/2006 7:05:35 AM   
SohCahToa


Posts: 563
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline 		Ride on a horse backwards, up and down the meadows, through and around the trees, around and around the mountain etc.

I’m running out of things to ask advice about but I love giving out advice what should I do?

_____________________________

ڪ০મ໒คमՇՕΔ
- Pax vobiscum -

"Come ride with me through the veins of history. I'll show you a God who falls asleep on the job." - Muse

(in reply to SweetlyTwisted)
Profile   Post #: 1872
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/22/2006 7:30:20 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SohCahToa


I’m running out of things to ask advice about but I love giving out advice what should I do?


Approach Fox and propose a new Jerry Springer style show where you can pontificate to others about their lives, as if you were perfect.

My half brother is is my sister's cousin and my son's grandad. We want to get divorced - what should we do?

(in reply to SohCahToa)
Profile   Post #: 1873
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/22/2006 1:57:37 PM   
pinkee


Posts: 487
Status: offline 		Have a family reunion in -- o -- Michigan during hunting season and shoot all the unnecessary relations, then tell the police "they looked like deer".
 
i am worried about my unmentionable....should i bother her?
 
pinkee

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 1874
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/22/2006 2:30:53 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

i am worried about my unmentionable....should i bother her?
 
pinkee


Firstly, whilst its common to think of your unmentionable as having an identity, its probably better to consult a GP if you are worried about "her", but of course using the anatomical term is better as this will be helpful to your doctor. Dont "bother" "her" yourself, seek medical advice.

My family is all dead. I've had them stuffed and mounted, but where's the best place to put them now?
E

(in reply to pinkee)
Profile   Post #: 1875
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/22/2006 9:41:10 PM   
Yang4yin


Posts: 1677
Joined: 7/26/2006
From: NC (USA)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

My family is all dead. I've had them stuffed and mounted, but where's the best place to put them now?



Build a museum and put them on display. At least you can charge admission and maybe get back some of your investment.


I started a museum of celebrity body parts but only have a small portion of the exhibits filled. What should I do?

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 1876
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/23/2006 9:05:04 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Yang4yin

I started a museum of celebrity body parts but only have a small portion of the exhibits filled. What should I do?


Get yourself an elephant gun and go to Hollywood. Once there, get a 19th century safari costume and hire a film crew to follow you around. Now you can go hunting movie stars for real, and everyone who sees it will just assume its a film shoot. Just stay out of downtown LA.

My neighbourhood is shit - full of people with grazed knuckles from grazing on the ground, druggies, drunks, indolents and ex convicts. What should I do to improve the place?

E

(in reply to Yang4yin)
Profile   Post #: 1877
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/23/2006 10:43:54 AM   
CreoleCook


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		become a prostitute... sounds like you would fit right in, then...

------------------------------------------------------------

I think my pants are getting smaller... any suggestions on how to stretch em back out to size, again?


_____________________________

"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 1878
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/23/2006 5:16:32 PM   
SohCahToa


Posts: 563
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline 		Simple; walk around with weights attached to them.

Due to the temperature and the fact I sit on a leather chair I tend to suffer from sweaty arse syndrome how can I cure this affliction?

_____________________________

ڪ০મ໒คमՇՕΔ
- Pax vobiscum -

"Come ride with me through the veins of history. I'll show you a God who falls asleep on the job." - Muse

(in reply to CreoleCook)
Profile   Post #: 1879
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/24/2006 12:48:39 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SohCahToa

Due to the temperature and the fact I sit on a leather chair I tend to suffer from sweaty arse syndrome how can I cure this affliction?


Get into adult baby play. Hire a mommy to come in and put you in a diaper and change it every few hours, applying cream to your behind at each change. Breast feeding optional, though a pacifier might get you in role better, but dont be surprised if people start saying "dummy?"  when they see you, as they are referring to the pacifier - honest.

My career as a prostitute in my dodgy neighbourhood is not going well. The troglodytes here dont seem to have any money to pay me and wont swap booze or drugs for my services either. What can I do to make a living in my chosen profession in this area?

(in reply to SohCahToa)
Profile   Post #: 1880
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