RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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LaTigresse -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/21/2006 11:45:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Yang4yin

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

baddogbenji


Now there's a cry for help!


I think I just pissed off LaTigresse. What, if anything, should I do?


Two things.........it takes ALOT more to piss me off than that......that made me laugh.
The second thing would be the bad advise part......keep trying.



Yang4yin -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/21/2006 11:55:46 AM)

I'm getting good at pissing off people because my sense of humor is often misunderstood. What should I do - besides not posting anywhere?



SohCahToa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/21/2006 12:50:35 PM)

Send all your future posts to an independent arbiter in order to be tested for acceptability and overall funniness. It’s what I do and hardly anything gets through.

I have acquired a £30 library fine and want to get out of paying if possible, any suggestions?



LaTigresse -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/21/2006 1:36:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Yang4yin

I'm getting good at pissing off people because my sense of humor is often misunderstood. What should I do - besides not posting anywhere?


Keep posting everywhere. If they can't take a joke, flog em!![:D]



CreoleCook -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/21/2006 3:17:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SohCahToa

I have acquired a £30 library fine and want to get out of paying if possible, any suggestions?


burn down the library....



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I am looking for a set of chaps, anybody got any good ideas for where I should get em?



LeMis -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/21/2006 3:42:58 PM)

Try posting an ad in an English Newspaper.

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I want a cookie, but I really should avoid sweets, what can I do?



swtsouthernsub -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/21/2006 4:00:18 PM)

eat a sugar free  cookie avoid the calories
i want to be married or at least have a live in partner besides my mother



SweetlyTwisted -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/21/2006 8:27:00 PM)

put a bunch of names in a hat, then pick out the one you are going to marry, make a voodoo doll that looks like him, finally cast a spell to make him marry you!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Lately, I have been enjoying my gf/wife's company more than my Master/husband's. I'm afraid he is getting jealous, what should I do to fix this?????



LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/22/2006 1:55:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetlyTwisted
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Lately, I have been enjoying my gf/wife's company more than my Master/husband's. I'm afraid he is getting jealous, what should I do to fix this?????



Stick a fork in each of them and in yourself. Now everyone has been forked equally there is no reason for any jealousy.

I am running out of forks; what should I do?
E



pleasetame -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/22/2006 3:16:07 AM)

Go to a wedding and put everyone at the tables forks in your purse.

What should I eat for breakfast?



SweetlyTwisted -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/22/2006 6:48:57 AM)

here's the best breakfast in town .....take four eggs, crack and whip them. add a quarter cup of your favorite jam,  3 beggin' bacon strips crumbled from your dog's treat jar, and 8 green olives to the beaten eggs. pop in the microwave for 17 seconds. while that is cooking, toast 2 slices of your favorite bread. when the egg mixture beeps, break up the toast into small pieces and toss into the mixture. pop this into the microwave another 5 minutes. Then gobble it down with 24 oz. of V8 .... Enjoy!!!
~ ~ ~ ~
For some reason, my tummy aches after breakfast, what's the best remedy?



SohCahToa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/22/2006 7:05:35 AM)

Ride on a horse backwards, up and down the meadows, through and around the trees, around and around the mountain etc.

I’m running out of things to ask advice about but I love giving out advice what should I do?



LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/22/2006 7:30:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SohCahToa


I’m running out of things to ask advice about but I love giving out advice what should I do?


Approach Fox and propose a new Jerry Springer style show where you can pontificate to others about their lives, as if you were perfect.

My half brother is is my sister's cousin and my son's grandad. We want to get divorced - what should we do?



pinkee -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/22/2006 1:57:37 PM)

Have a family reunion in -- o -- Michigan during hunting season and shoot all the unnecessary relations, then tell the police "they looked like deer".
 
i am worried about my unmentionable....should i bother her?
 
pinkee



LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/22/2006 2:30:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

i am worried about my unmentionable....should i bother her?
 
pinkee


Firstly, whilst its common to think of your unmentionable as having an identity, its probably better to consult a GP if you are worried about "her", but of course using the anatomical term is better as this will be helpful to your doctor. Dont "bother" "her" yourself, seek medical advice.

My family is all dead. I've had them stuffed and mounted, but where's the best place to put them now?
E



Yang4yin -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/22/2006 9:41:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

My family is all dead. I've had them stuffed and mounted, but where's the best place to put them now?



Build a museum and put them on display. At least you can charge admission and maybe get back some of your investment.


I started a museum of celebrity body parts but only have a small portion of the exhibits filled. What should I do?



LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/23/2006 9:05:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Yang4yin

I started a museum of celebrity body parts but only have a small portion of the exhibits filled. What should I do?


Get yourself an elephant gun and go to Hollywood. Once there, get a 19th century safari costume and hire a film crew to follow you around. Now you can go hunting movie stars for real, and everyone who sees it will just assume its a film shoot. Just stay out of downtown LA.

My neighbourhood is shit - full of people with grazed knuckles from grazing on the ground, druggies, drunks, indolents and ex convicts. What should I do to improve the place?

E



CreoleCook -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/23/2006 10:43:54 AM)

become a prostitute... sounds like you would fit right in, then...

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I think my pants are getting smaller... any suggestions on how to stretch em back out to size, again?



SohCahToa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/23/2006 5:16:32 PM)

Simple; walk around with weights attached to them.

Due to the temperature and the fact I sit on a leather chair I tend to suffer from sweaty arse syndrome how can I cure this affliction?



LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/24/2006 12:48:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SohCahToa

Due to the temperature and the fact I sit on a leather chair I tend to suffer from sweaty arse syndrome how can I cure this affliction?


Get into adult baby play. Hire a mommy to come in and put you in a diaper and change it every few hours, applying cream to your behind at each change. Breast feeding optional, though a pacifier might get you in role better, but dont be surprised if people start saying "dummy?"  when they see you, as they are referring to the pacifier - honest.

My career as a prostitute in my dodgy neighbourhood is not going well. The troglodytes here dont seem to have any money to pay me and wont swap booze or drugs for my services either. What can I do to make a living in my chosen profession in this area?



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