RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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SohCahToa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/24/2006 1:32:05 PM)

Grow a beard and chest hair maybe the chimp like men you refer to will find you more attractive then.

There is this woman I see on the way to work she always begs me for money. The fastest way to work always passes this middle class waster of a homeless person that can’t be bothered to get a real job. How can I avoid paying this toll?



CreoleCook -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/24/2006 2:04:57 PM)

offer her a job.

I am tired of having an upset stomach... any suggestions on how to permanently get rid of this condition?



subinside -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/24/2006 2:07:40 PM)

you could try an iv of pepto bismol...

i just got a really bad haircut.. what should i do?



CreoleCook -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/24/2006 2:11:34 PM)

shave your head, change your name to Sinead O Conner, and start singing in a falsetto voice...

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I am looking for my car keys... any suggestions on where to find them?



LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/25/2006 8:21:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreoleCook
I am looking for my car keys... any suggestions on where to find them?



Check the wardrobe - if I had khakis, that'd be where I'd put 'em.

This thread almost dropped to page three; how can we ensure that more than the few of us still posting to it, get involved and keep it on page one?

E



ownedandcollared -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/25/2006 9:14:27 AM)

Create a virus, ensuring that this is the only surviving thread.

i keep getting instant messeges from creepy guys. how do i deal with that?



willow06 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/25/2006 10:06:55 AM)

Act like a creepy guy yourself.

How do I pass Calculus II?



thegirlincharge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/25/2006 10:09:50 AM)

Blow the instructor...oh wait that's GOOD advice



willow06 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/25/2006 10:26:20 AM)

Ewww... 



LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/25/2006 11:23:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: willow06
How do I pass Calculus II?



First, you have to eat the textbook. I suggest using a paper shredder, then boiling the strips in some sort of soup. When soft, eat with pepper to taste. Around 24 hours later, you should pass it no problem. Not many people realise that this was the origin of The Reader's Digest - but people started reading it instead and well, the rest is history.

I'm constipated from eating the Encyclopedia Britannica. What should I do?

E 



JerseyKrissi72 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/25/2006 11:26:00 AM)

a hot sauce enema might work[8|]



gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/25/2006 11:29:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I'm constipated from eating the Encyclopedia Britannica. What should I do?



Go for some fibrous paperbacks, such as Anne Rice.

I want to transfer some fish from one tank to another, but seem to have misplaced my net.  How can I do it?

Yours,


benji



LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/25/2006 11:38:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji


I want to transfer some fish from one tank to another, but seem to have misplaced my net.  How can I do it?

Yours,


benji


This sounds like a lateral thinking exercise, so in that spirit, go to the aquarium supplies store and by more fish, exactly like the ones in tank A. Put these fish in tank B, then take tank A to the aquarium supplies store and sell the fish to the owner for resale to you the next time you need to change over.

I think I may be going as crazy as Benji; what should I do?

E



willow06 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/25/2006 11:38:37 AM)

Invite friends over and play "Bobbing for Fish".

I've got too much to do and not enough time to do it.  What should I do?



gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/25/2006 11:41:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I think I may be going as crazy as Benji; what should I do?

E


ENJOY!

quote:



I've got too much to do and not enough time to do it.  What should I do? 



Never put off till tomorrow what you can forget about entirely.

The people at the fish store looked at me funny when I seemingly returned the same fish I had just bought, but insisted they were different.  So I got arrested and am now wearing a straight jacket.  How am I typing?

Yours,


benji



LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/25/2006 11:41:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: willow06

I've got too much to do and not enough time to do it.  What should I do?



Move to metric time. Then you will have 100 hours in every day.

I still think I'm getting as crazy as Benji - what should I do?
E



LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/25/2006 11:42:47 AM)

Benji - is that you next door? I'd tap on the walls, but theyre made of cushiony-stuff



Yang4yin -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/25/2006 9:22:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I still think I'm getting as crazy as Benji - what should I do?


Send a long, detailed letter to Dr. Phil and beg to be on his TV show. I'm sure he'll have an answer for you.
 
 
I don't seem to have any trouble talking about sex, but carrying on a conversation about other things is often difficult. What should I do?



cherrypepsi -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/25/2006 10:58:06 PM)

Find someway to relate everything you say to sex. Fill any awkward pauses with inappropriate giggling.
 
I have a highly annoying pop song stuck in my head. What should I do?



willow06 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (9/25/2006 11:06:00 PM)

Pass it on to everyone you know.

My bunnies chew the carpet (which is BAD).  What should I do?



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