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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 8/3/2006 11:35:07 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Smash both of the mirrors on the floor.  Never mind the
bad luck.
 
I worked out tonight at the gym and now walk bow-legged.  How can I change this condition?


quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce
I just did this and saw the hand holding the mirror in the mirror.  What should I do?


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 1541
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 8/4/2006 4:46:02 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Start a massive political campaign to become president of the USA.  Then, once that is accomplished, invade Canada, making the USA&C the biggest country in the world.  Proceed to conquer all smaller countries.

You are now the totalitarian grand high king, Vendeval I, may she reign forever.  At this point, it is your perogative to ensure everyone else works out and becomes even more bowlegged than you.

I have created a monster.  How do I uncreate it?

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 1542
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 8/7/2006 5:43:09 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

I have created a monster.  How do I uncreate it?

 
Go and pee on Vendaval, I am pretty sure that will bring her and her bowleggedness back to earth with a thud.... in fact, I double dog dare you Benji to do this and let us know if you survive.

It think I look pretty damn cool when I drive my car with its hood down but its winter .. how can I have the roof down and not end up driving in a bathtub?

< Message edited by wandersalone -- 8/7/2006 5:44:07 AM >

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 1543
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 8/7/2006 5:46:53 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Move to Alaska.  You'll be driving in an icecube about 4 minutes later.

I hate tall people.  Any suggestions?

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 1544
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 8/7/2006 10:53:19 AM   
CatNmouse2002


Posts: 110
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji



I hate tall people.  Any suggestions?

Yours,


benji


Well benji hating tall people is usualy a sign of "shortness" . I am sorry to say that the only  fix for hating tall people is to become tall yourself . Then if your scorn and jealousy continues you can beat yourself off with irrational hatred ... and be justified in your own mind .

Me and the mouse are bored . What kind of things would any of you suggest ?



(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 1545
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 8/7/2006 2:16:34 PM   
SohCahToa


Posts: 563
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline 		Hide the mouse?

The grass keeps growing in my garden how do I fix this for good?

_____________________________

ڪ০મ໒คमՇՕΔ
- Pax vobiscum -

"Come ride with me through the veins of history. I'll show you a God who falls asleep on the job." - Muse

(in reply to CatNmouse2002)
Profile   Post #: 1546
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 8/7/2006 2:19:48 PM   
CatNmouse2002


Posts: 110
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SohCahToa

Hide the mouse?

The grass keeps growing in my garden how do I fix this for good?


Commit Sodomy in the back yard till the Good Lord calls down a pillar of fire and turns all living beings into salt . Have your surviving kin spread the salt evenly and wait for the rain .

How is hiding the mouse gonna help any ? Besides she went to work . What am I suppose to do now ? She doesn't get home till 8:00 .... ( it's about 4:20 right now )

(in reply to SohCahToa)
Profile   Post #: 1547
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 8/7/2006 8:19:56 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Well, it's 4:20 after all....  and what happens at 4:20? 

We wait 10 minutes for the Simpsons to start at 4:30!  YAY!

Duuuuuuuuuuude....  I....  totally....  just.....  waited.....  like 10 minutes.........




for the Simpsons....  duude.

I have a week off work, and nothing to do.  Would it be wrong for me to go find the mouse for the Cat, since he doesn't seem to care?

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to CatNmouse2002)
Profile   Post #: 1548
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 8/8/2006 9:23:00 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I have a week off work, and nothing to do.  Would it be wrong for me to go find the mouse for the Cat, since he doesn't seem to care?


A dog going to look for a mouse for a cat? This sounds like a Tom and Jerry cartoon. Yes it is wrong. No you can't go looking for a mouse and stop thinking about chewing my sneaker.

I should really wash my car but I don't really have the energy to do so. Any suggestions?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 1549
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 8/8/2006 10:42:13 AM   
CatNmouse2002


Posts: 110
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

[

A dog going to look for a mouse for a cat? This sounds like a Tom and Jerry cartoon. Yes it is wrong. No you can't go looking for a mouse and stop thinking about chewing my sneaker.

I should really wash my car but I don't really have the energy to do so. Any suggestions?

Here in Kentucky water and other natural resources are slim . So we do not wash our cars in the traditional way . It requires less work but alot of  Kentucky Engineering .

Spray your car down with gasoline ( no smoking from here on ) . Once you have liberaly coated your vehicle with gasoline using a normal yard sprayer .

Light it with by tossing handfulls of lit sparklers at it .

There is this dog  in my neighboorhood ... It was suppose to be taken away and disposed of by the pound ... but it is walking around outside . What should I do ... I think it is a zombie ....


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1550
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 8/11/2006 7:57:49 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

There is this dog  in my neighboorhood ... It was suppose to be taken away and disposed of by the pound ... but it is walking around outside . What should I do ... I think it is a zombie ....


Go up to the dog and smack it across the snout with a rolled newspaper. If the dog bites you and a few hours later you turn into the undead, then you were right, it is a zombie. Call the authorities and have both you and the dog disposed of.

My chipmunk has not been around for several weeks now and I am sad. How can I find out if my chipmunk is OK?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to CatNmouse2002)
Profile   Post #: 1551
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 8/11/2006 8:04:48 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My chipmunk has not been around for several weeks now and I am sad. How can I find out if my chipmunk is OK?


Watch The Emperor's New Groove so you can learn to speak squirrel.  Once you've learned that, ask the squirrels if they know where your chipmunk went.  If they don't know, find a bilingual squirrel to interpret for you and go ask another chipmunk where he is.
 
I just gave Gauge some really lame advice.  Should I be rewarded for it?  If so, how?

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1552
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 8/11/2006 8:50:21 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I just gave Gauge some really lame advice.  Should I be rewarded for it?  If so, how?


Yes, you should be rewarded. I see squirrel play in your future.

I am actually contemplating learning squirrel to find out about my chipmunk... should I question my sanity? If I should, what should I do about it?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 1553
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 8/11/2006 9:00:36 PM   
MissTlTTYMilk


Posts: 142
Joined: 6/17/2006
Status: offline 		Dont ever question your sanity but rather your insanity; always spit on flaming cars.

Using the  above pictured yard sprayer, can i doused pesty squirrels and chipmunks? 

edited to add.......how much do you think it cost to douse a squirrel with gasoline if i wait 5 days?

< Message edited by MissTlTTYMilk -- 8/11/2006 9:05:11 PM >

_____________________________

"I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. "
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. "
--Bertrand Russell

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1554
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 8/11/2006 9:52:07 PM   
CatNmouse2002


Posts: 110
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissTlTTYMilk

..how much do you think it cost to douse a squirrel with gasoline if i wait 5 days?


With Gas prices as they are these days and with the constantly shifting political sands .. there is NO telling how much gas will be in 5 days . Some people suggest gas will run out come sunday evening for the whole world . While I doubt this is actually going to happen I will not discount it .

But since this is just for fun ...

I guess I could say that 23 gallons of gas @ 3.13 a gallon will come out to somewhere close to .. oh say ... maybe ... * thinks and counts on His fingers *  ummm ... roughly 71  American dollars and 99 cents .

Or in other words more than the cost of a good bottle of tequilla and a cheap manwhore to chase the squirrel away by shooting ping pong balls out of his mangina at the small woodland creature . Which is of course what you should have done do began with ... instead of all this nonsense about gasoline and roasting squirrels alive . Where is your humanity ?

I have lost faith in My fellow humans ... what should I do ?

_____________________________

Higher consciousness will be obtained through harder contact ... The Cat

(in reply to MissTlTTYMilk)
Profile   Post #: 1555
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 8/11/2006 9:56:18 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Using the  above pictured yard sprayer, can i doused pesty squirrels and chipmunks? 

edited to add.......how much do you think it cost to douse a squirrel with gasoline if i wait 5 days?


If you wait five days to soak a squirrel with gasoline I am afraid that the squirrel will have moved on and you will be getting looks from the neighbors. So... it won't cost you anything.

I can't help but having a fantasy of the person above me getting mobbed on by a band of enraged squirrels and chipmunks. Is this something I should feel guilty about or should I act on it?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to MissTlTTYMilk)
Profile   Post #: 1556
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 8/11/2006 9:59:10 PM   
MarksFantasyGirl


Posts: 3660
Joined: 10/13/2005
Status: offline 		No, I think that you have every right to feel that way... he needs it... and i hope the squirels are covered in gasoline!

My Love is coming to see me tonight, and i don't know what to wear... any suggestions??

_____________________________

--Fannie
AKA Savage's Fantasy
AKA Girl Dave
AKA Resident Flirt
AKA Sexy Hawt Woman

~*~Happily and proudly collared by my best friend~*~

Quitcher bitchen, and get out of the kitchen! ~Harry {3rdRock}

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1557
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 8/11/2006 10:04:06 PM   
sleazybutterfly


Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		How about.. nothing????  Have fun, sweet Fannie.
 
Okay.. now I know someone, somewhere is getting some..and I am not.. how do I cope??

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to MarksFantasyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 1558
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 8/11/2006 10:05:11 PM   
CatNmouse2002


Posts: 110
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

I can't help but having a fantasy of the person above me getting mobbed on by a band of enraged squirrels and chipmunks. Is this something I should feel guilty about or should I act on it?


It depends ... you talking about Me or MissTlTTYMilk

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1559
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 8/11/2006 10:15:06 PM   
nefertari


Posts: 425
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly

How about.. nothing????  Have fun, sweet Fannie.
 
Okay.. now I know someone, somewhere is getting some..and I am not.. how do I cope??


Ask them to webcam and let you play director.

My toes are cold.  What do I do?

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 1560
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