Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice Page: <<   < prev  62 63 [64] 65 66   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/24/2006 5:29:42 PM   
HouseofBear


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline 		Buy a bunch of spaghetti noodles, bind them together with thread and tell him you are giving him a birch as a replacement.  I am sure he will be thrilled.

With the heat, lack of rain, and ban on watering in our area, my poor flowers are dying.  What should I do?


(in reply to enigmabrat)
Profile   Post #: 1261
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/25/2006 12:04:01 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

With the heat, lack of rain, and ban on watering in our area, my poor flowers are dying.  What should I do?


Well, this is such an easy one that I am terribly shocked that you haven't done it already. Urinate on the flowers. Ask your neighbors to urinate on the flowers. Invite friends over to urinate on the flowers. Place signs on your front lawn inviting people to urinate on the flowers. Those flowers should be perky and lush green in no time.


I used the word urinate in my last post several times and now I have to go pee... only my oldest son is in the bathroom right now. Whatever can I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to HouseofBear)
Profile   Post #: 1262
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/25/2006 3:18:05 AM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		Take your own advice and urinate on HouseOfBears flowers.  Do you ever listen to what you tell people?

Because of Benji, I cannot get the lines from Fight Club out of my head.  And I keep quoting it.  What can I do to make the insanity stop?  Maybe some hard spanking und cuffing is in order?



_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1263
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/25/2006 3:30:48 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, that is just what you need girl. 

How do you get the smell of Kama Sutra massage oils out of
silk bedding?

Vendaval


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMalinche

Because of Benji, I cannot get the lines from Fight Club out of my head.  And I keep quoting it.  What can I do to make the insanity stop?  Maybe some hard spanking und cuffing is in order?



_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 1264
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/25/2006 3:41:59 AM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		Invite Benji and Gauge over to share your bed.  With all their urinating issues you will not smell the kama sutra oils.


My play partner is watching an interrogation rape porno without me, and it is one of my BIGGEST fantasies, and I am stuck at work, what is a girl to do?



_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 1265
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/25/2006 4:01:08 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Start writing out your own fantasies on the office computer.
Do not use any passwords to protect the information
Your co-workers will appreciate your creativity.
 
How do I get old tape off of a window without scratching
the glass?

Vendaval

 


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMalinche

My play partner is watching an interrogation rape porno without me, and it is one of my BIGGEST fantasies, and I am stuck at work, what is a girl to do?



_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 1266
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/25/2006 4:18:39 AM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		Rubbing alcohol.  Drink three shots of it, and then use a razor blade.


I can't sleep. . . the banana's gonna come for me!



_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 1267
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/25/2006 9:07:13 AM   
missgiveNTake


Posts: 673
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline

Do not fear the banana, embrace him, he is your friend.

I crave chocolate covered carrot sticks. How do I avoid giving into my craving?

_____________________________

I am a very good girl, very good at all I do.

Highly intelligent with a generous pinch of the absurd! (Thank you Crouchingtigress)

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 1268
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/25/2006 12:12:26 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I crave chocolate covered carrot sticks. How do I avoid giving into my craving?


Imagine that they dance like those fucking bananas.


I really need to shampoo my carpet but I am not sure if I should rent a cleaner or if there is another way to clean it. Any thoughts?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to missgiveNTake)
Profile   Post #: 1269
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/25/2006 12:50:22 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		Cover the carpet in soapy water, tie sponges to your feet and pretend you're ice skating.  Allow to air dry.

I keep dreaming Pat Sajak and Vanna White are giving a flogging demo on Wheel of Fortune.  It frightens me so that I haven't slept in 24 days.  Whatever should I do?

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1270
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/27/2006 2:19:33 PM   
txpet


Posts: 200
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline 		you must face your fear to overcome it ... so sneak into the Wheel of Fortune studio, tie Pat to the wheel and have Vanna flog him ... if she balks, start messing up her hair

my computer is being exceptionally slow, what should i do?

_____________________________

Ken's dirty girl,
txpet jennie

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 1271
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/28/2006 1:43:07 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Take the mouse out of the cage and let it run freely around your desk.
 
I caught a cold even though it is summer time.  What should I do?

Vendaval


quote:

ORIGINAL: txpet
my computer is being exceptionally slow, what should i do?


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to txpet)
Profile   Post #: 1272
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/28/2006 6:49:15 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		get sunburn next winter!

How can I attract Chris Isaak's attention when I go to his concert in November and make myself stand out from the thousands of other people who will be there?

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 1273
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/28/2006 7:01:53 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Equip yourself with a pair of motorised wings, and make a leap of faith towards Chris on to the stage. The angelic faced one couldn't possibly not notice that :-)

I am having a terrible time remaining true to my beliefs and tolerating intolerance: whatever shall I do? I firmly am AGAINST the death penalty, but the opportunity to strangle a poster or two from other forums has passed by my mind. How to let them fester in their own @#!$!@#$#@! without giving a damn? I believe in humanity! HELP.

_____________________________



(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 1274
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/28/2006 8:05:34 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Buy a couple of cheap pillows from the drug store and take a baseball
bat to them.  Whack at  your pleasure.  Or failing this technique,
take up kick-boxing.
 
Now my cold has turned into laryngitis.  What should I do?

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol
I am having a terrible time remaining true to my beliefs and tolerating intolerance: whatever shall I do? I firmly am AGAINST the death penalty, but the opportunity to strangle a poster or two from other forums has passed by my mind. How to let them fester in their own @#!$!@#$#@! without giving a damn? I believe in humanity! HELP.


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 1275
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/28/2006 9:28:09 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Okay this is a doctor speaking: don't let the infection travel down to your lungs. Keep well hydrated (drink gallons of liquid, water, tea, herbal tea, whatever). Rest, no stress. If your general health is okay it ought to pass soon: for pain and fever 400mg of ibuprofen no more than four times every twenty-four hours should help. If symptoms don't pass, consult your quack.

Whomever follows, what do you think is the most satisfying, a healthy vanilla relationship, or a dead-crazy passionate BDSM one?

_____________________________



(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 1276
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/28/2006 9:29:36 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		PS: I have toyed with the idea of joining a kick-boxing club. Thank you, I think I shall :-)

_____________________________



(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 1277
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/29/2006 11:10:53 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Whomever follows, what do you think is the most satisfying, a healthy vanilla relationship, or a dead-crazy passionate BDSM one?


This post is not asking for advice, it is asking for an opinion and therefore it is invalid to this thread. You have now been notified that if you continue to ask for opinions that you will be tied down and made to watch Jerry Springer for days on end. If this doesn't break you, I will force you to watch The Waltons. If you are still sane, it will be Little House on the Prarie. Don't make me get nasty.


I have a small hole in the side of my shoe. What can I do to fix this because I can't go out and buy shoes right now.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 1278
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/29/2006 12:47:54 PM   
ArtimisBlack


Posts: 154
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		Put a matching hole in your other shoe and then tie your shoelaces together.

I cut half my finger off with circular saw how do I reattach it?

< Message edited by ArtimisBlack -- 6/29/2006 12:49:08 PM >

_____________________________

I wanted to put in my 2 cents but I only have a dollar. Do you have change?

The pain is free. Do not pick the scab.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1279
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/29/2006 5:11:46 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		A hot glue gun.  Every theater tech knows that one.
 
Now that I am getting my voice back it appear that my career
as a 1-900 operator is over since the raw, throaty appeal was
bringing in the callers.  Whatever should I do?
 
Vendaval


quote:

ORIGINAL: ArtimisBlack
I cut half my finger off with circular saw how do I reattach it?


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to ArtimisBlack)
Profile   Post #: 1280
Page:   <<   < prev  62 63 [64] 65 66   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice Page: <<   < prev  62 63 [64] 65 66   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.156