RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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MistressFeathers -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/19/2007 12:33:31 PM)
Get over it things could be worse. I've knackered my back, have phobia about flying, hate airports & am going to eygpt tmrw. How do I pass the time without turning me, my husband or fellow passangers into total wrecks?

QuietDom -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/19/2007 12:41:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressFeathers I've knackered my back, have phobia about flying, hate airports & am going to eygpt tmrw. How do I pass the time without turning me, my husband or fellow passangers into total wrecks? Read the little safety-procedures pamphlet. Over and over. Out loud. If it's one of those that's mainly diagrams, improvise your own description of the procedures, and the highly probable disaster that creates the need for each one. I just came back from a pleasant weekend with friends, and have no real problems I can think of just now. How can I develop some comically dramatic tribulations to post in this thread?

bludemonn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/19/2007 1:48:48 PM)
easy go to black history month party dressed in a white robe with a long pointy white mask covering your face with the holes in for your eyes, just say you are a ghost..... Ive seen a great deal on Ebay but cant believe it, they want £1000 for a brand new car, they say its all legit even though theres no picture what should i do ?

Lorelei115 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/19/2007 2:47:01 PM)
Send the money to me instead. At least then you will KNOW you're getting scammed. I wanna go out tonight but I can't find anyone to go with me. What do I do?

bludemonn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/19/2007 3:34:39 PM)
Get ready and doll yourself up then walk the streets preferably where other ladies walk at night, dunno why maybe they are waiting for a bus, rumour has it cars usually pull over and the men who are all lost chat you up and you end up with a date! hey presto! I may go for a late night drive tonight, any suggestions where?

CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/19/2007 7:28:02 PM)
Off a cliff! (Sorry, but this -is- the bad advice thread) I like having my neck bitten, but I don't want hickeys visible for my interview on Friday. What can I do to reduce the appearence of the marks?

bludemonn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/19/2007 7:30:48 PM)
easy, just dress up as a vampire and go to work pretending you thought it was 'fancy-dress' day!! I'm trying to 'beef' up what is the best way to get hulked?

Sternhand4 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/19/2007 7:35:55 PM)
I like having my neck bitten, but I don't want hickeys visible for my interview on Friday. What can I do to reduce the appearence of the marks? Wear a nice leather collar ( oh wait its bad advise we're looking for ) Distract them with larger needle tracks on your arms and be sure to ask if the health coverage plan covers addictions... Is it ok to store my handgun near the cookie jar?

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/19/2007 7:38:17 PM)
Why wouldnt it be? The Keebler elves arent strong enough to pick up a handgun... I am having a chocolate craving and have none here... what should I do?

HydroMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/19/2007 7:41:07 PM)
Only as long as you store the bullets in the cookie jar. I'm trying to make a nice Christmas card for next year but the antlers won't stay on the gerbil. Is there anything I could do with maybe a ferret or something?

Wolf1020 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/19/2007 7:43:22 PM)
super glue the damn cat keeps making noise at the door but wont come inside when I open it. What should I do?

Sternhand4 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/19/2007 7:50:22 PM)
Head for the cookie jar.. Now that PETA is hunting me where should I hide?

HydroMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/19/2007 8:09:04 PM)
Sorry man, there's no where to hide from them. You could try an animal costume and hide in the zoo. The damn ghost, spirit, whatever keeps blowing up all the light bulbs. How do I get rid of it?

CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/20/2007 9:29:30 PM)
Find the guy who played the priest in The Exorcism of Emily Rose and get him to help you get rid of it. I finally got laid today, but don't want him to think I'm a slut. What can I do?

darchChylde -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/20/2007 10:22:15 PM)
get laid with 8 more people in the next 24 hours, but charge for it so you can be a whore instead i'm straight but watch half naked men in tights touching each other all over and getting into suggestive positions at every chance, how do i justify my love for professional wrestling?

goodlittlegirl28 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/21/2007 4:27:50 AM)
tell people you're a lover of contact sports, such as professional wrestling... and ballet. i don't much care for alcohol, but i feel like a kid when i go out and order a soda. is there an alternative?

QuietDom -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/21/2007 7:44:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: goodlittlegirl28 i don't much care for alcohol, but i feel like a kid when i go out and order a soda. is there an alternative? Alcohol-free 'mocktails' are your friends. Try a 'Shirley Temple'. Life is a meaningless, empty, grey wasteland that rolls inevitably on to death. What can I do about this?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/21/2007 9:09:59 AM)
quote: I'm trying to 'beef' up what is the best way to get hulked? Expose yourself to Gamma radiation and have someone make you angry. It worked for David Banner. quote: I am having a chocolate craving and have none here... what should I do? Whenever having a chocolate Jones it is best to sever a body part, that way you will always remember to have chocolate handy. quote: Life is a meaningless, empty, grey wasteland that rolls inevitably on to death. What can I do about this? Speed things up with a heroin habit. I keep getting these annoying headaches after drinking coffee. How can I get rid of them?

CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/21/2007 12:21:07 PM)
Mix the coffee with alcohol so you don't notice the headache. I had a package sent Priority Mail a week ago...and it's not here. What's the best way to complain to the postal service?

darchChylde -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/21/2007 12:24:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple I had a package sent Priority Mail a week ago...and it's not here. What's the best way to complain to the postal service? the only way they'll respect, with a semi-automatic i want to color my hair but can't afford to go to a salon and afraid to screw it up at home, what do i do?

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