RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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rosanegra -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 12:02:33 AM)
Screw getting a new tire. Re-tread it yourself. (sorry, wrote tired instead of tire.. think I've had a long day, maybe?) I went skating tonight and banged my knee. It is swelling up. What can I do to make it better?

CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 1:16:03 AM)
Bang the other knee so you have a matching set! I keep getting bruises in odd places, like my spine. Are the gnomes hurting me in my sleep?

sensualmagirl -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 1:27:17 AM)
No, it's the tooth fairy with a mallot trying to get your adult teeth ... You must sleep on your stomach. Here's what you need to do, set up a trap over your bed consisting of mosquito netting and hammers, and other torture devices... she flies in and voila, caught fairy... or, you'll be so bruised all over your body, everything will match. My desk is in disarray, but, I've got a cold and don't want to take the time to clean it up, any suggestions?

Theo23 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 1:55:53 AM)
A messy desk is a good thing. Supposedly great discoverys have been the result of a messy desk. It forces you to search for what need, and you come across things you didn't know you needed! Leave it messy. I'm terrible at ironing, I'm tempted to take all of my clothing to the dry cleaners just so thats ironed properly, is it worth it?

Lorelei115 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 6:58:54 AM)
Everyone knows that the best method of ironing clothes without doing it yourself is to have a cat sleep on it. Guaranteed no one will notice any wrinkles. Winter is too long and I've got cabin fever. How do I amuse myself so I don't have to go to the padded room again?

nyrisa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 7:24:05 AM)
Use a telescope to spy on your neighbors. Call them to remind them to leave their curtains ajar. Scold them for staying up too late watching the Tonight Show. Suggest they buy new lingerie and lose a few pounds, to increase your viewing pleasure. Our city has increased the number of speed traps on my route to work. If I get stopped for speeding, what might be a good way to talk the officer into not giving me a ticket?

PoisonRoses -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 8:23:25 AM)
pull out your bottle of jack black, take a swig, then offer him one. I keep accidently putting my thong on backward. How can I break this habit as I find I really seem to enjoy it?

nyrisa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 8:47:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PoisonRoses I keep accidently putting my thong on backward. How can I break this habit as I find I really seem to enjoy it? It really doesn't matter which way you wear it, as long as you are comfortable. This is especially true of thong bikinis. To be even more comfortable, don't shave prior to going to the beach. How can I get my husband to stop leaving the toilet seat up?

petdave -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 9:18:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nyrisa How can I get my husband to stop leaving the toilet seat up? Take if off altogether. He'll be surprised and impressed by your consideration for his needs. i am completely overwhelmed by household projects, and am unlikely to finish them even if i retire now and live to be a hundred. What should i do?

sensualmagirl -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 11:45:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nyrisa i am completely overwhelmed by household projects, and am unlikely to finish them even if i retire now and live to be a hundred. What should i do? Sell it and live in a grass hut on an island someplace... get job as a bartender (a la "cocktail") and live happily ever after on coconuts. I have a very large bottle of these herbal supplements I bought for a lot of money for a health concern that is gone now. They are about to expire soon, and I have most of them left. What should I do with all of these left-over pills?

rosanegra -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 12:50:55 PM)
Grind them up, add a generous amount of water, take the resulting liquid in via enema, hold for 20 minutes. The resulting boost in health will be astounding. I feel sick after every meal at my college cafeteria. How should I deal with this?

Sinergy -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 2:55:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rosanegra Grind them up, add a generous amount of water, take the resulting liquid in via enema, hold for 20 minutes. The resulting boost in health will be astounding. I feel sick after every meal at my college cafeteria. How should I deal with this? Wait until nobody is looking and sneak into the kitchen and vomit into the beef hash they will be serving at the next meal. This will both cure your nausea and help prevent the university from raising tuition prices. I told my landlady that the heater does not work in my apartment, but she disagreed and said it worked fine. My Pothos and Ficus have icicles on them and it is after Christmas, what should I do? Sinergy

HydroMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 2:59:12 PM)
Shave with a hedge trimmer, it leaves a smooth wound free finish. I got turned down for a promotion at work again. How should I deal with a boss that hates me?

Sinergy -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 3:01:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HydroMaster Shave with a hedge trimmer, it leaves a smooth wound free finish. I got turned down for a promotion at work again. How should I deal with a boss that hates me? Convince him to become a Buddhist war protestor, and have him self immolate in my apartment to melt the icicles. My TIVO is filling up with episodes of South Park and Jackass. What should I do? Sinergy

HydroMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 3:31:38 PM)
Watch them religiously. Forget, eating sleeping, working, and socializing, hygiene, only watch TIVO. The boss catching on fire has set off the fire control system and my lunch is getting soaked. I have money with me for a new lunch, what should I do?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 4:15:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HydroMaster The boss catching on fire has set off the fire control system and my lunch is getting soaked. I have money with me for a new lunch, what should I do? Go hungry and use the money to reserve a lawyer to sue your boss for the damage to your lunch (USD 10-00) plus a million dollars damages for your distress. No one understands me. What should I do? E

quietkitten -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 4:18:46 PM)
Kill all of them...... seriously....... now...... People tell me that I am scary psychotic... (they are all dead now) how do I find people who will accept me for who I am?

Sinergy -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 4:19:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyEllen quote: ORIGINAL: HydroMaster The boss catching on fire has set off the fire control system and my lunch is getting soaked. I have money with me for a new lunch, what should I do? Go hungry and use the money to reserve a lawyer to sue your boss for the damage to your lunch (USD 10-00) plus a million dollars damages for your distress. No one understands me. What should I do? E Have Google write an English to MaryEllen translator. Download it to your brain from Tucows.com I put up the hummingbird feeder, but they keep trying to eat from the bird seed feeder. What should I do? Sinergy

HydroMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 4:23:11 PM)
Run around around your yard waving your hands screaming"No Don't Eat the Seed!". Give your neighbors plenty of time to call the men in white coats. How do I get the blade on my lawn mower extra sharp?

Sinergy -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 4:26:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HydroMaster Run around around your yard waving your hands screaming"No Don't Eat the Seed!". Give your neighbors plenty of time to call the men in white coats. How do I get the blade on my lawn mower extra sharp? Lawn mowers are disposable. Buy a new one every time you mow the lawn. Alternately, have your submissive pinch off each blade of grass at the MilSpec standard of 11.02398cm. I have to go to work tomorrow but I am still tired. What should I do? Sinergy

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