RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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juliaoceania -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 7:08:19 PM)
quote: The chinese want to modify the Panama Canal to deal with their supercargo ships. What do I do to protect my job Apply in Panama for a job there. I moved to Panama for my Dom, and it is hot, what do I do?

HydroMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 7:22:25 PM)
Fill a bathtub with ice and stay in until your bits are numb. I'm running out of vodka and OJ and the strores have already closed. How do I fuel the rest of my screwdriver craving?

rosanegra -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 8:28:10 PM)
Get our your toolbox and start eating actual screwdrivers. Yum. Mass insanity has broken out on the really, really bad advice message board. How do I cope with the resulting headache/confusion?

HydroMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/11/2007 8:45:37 PM)
Cut off your own head with the tiny saw in the swiss army knife and put it in a bucket with plenty of ice. The tools in my swiss army knife are getting dulling because everyone in the forums keep borrowing it. What should I do?

Sinergy -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/12/2007 12:48:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HydroMaster Cut off your own head with the tiny saw in the swiss army knife and put it in a bucket with plenty of ice. The tools in my swiss army knife are getting dulling because everyone in the forums keep borrowing it. What should I do? After ensuring they do not have the gene splice making them unpleasant for cobras to eat, send them to Wal-Mart to buy their own swiss army knife. The job I picked up this morning pays 10 hours of work on a time and a half day because of some dead president, and I had to go home for 6.5 hours in the middle of the day. How can I ensure a steady supply of dead president days to take advantage of? Sinergy

rosanegra -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/12/2007 1:15:45 PM)
The next time GWB is in town, shoot him. I am sure you won't have to go to work that day. My friends are insisting I uphold a tradition of drinking whiskey at the formal my college holds every term, taking place tonight this term. Whiskey burns my throat. Help!

mnottertail -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/12/2007 1:18:16 PM)
Mix it with castor oil, it will be a little smoother coming up..... I hate my job and there is no fix for it but I will ask anyway, what to do? Ron

rosanegra -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/12/2007 1:40:00 PM)
Take your mind off of it by participating in self-flagellation. I am horny and my vibrator is dead. How should I go about solving the obvious resulting problem?

nyrisa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/12/2007 2:00:54 PM)
the batteries are probably dead. Pull the cord from an old lamp. Strip the wires bare, then splice them onto your vibrator. Wet the sheets of your bed, so you won't get too hot. Then plug the cord into the electrical outlet. Enjoy the brisk vibrations and the stimulating tingles. I have to buy a birthday gift for my mother in law. The dear lady has never liked me much. What can I get her, to improve her appreciation of me?

Mercnbeth -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/12/2007 2:13:18 PM)
quote: I have to buy a birthday gift for my mother in law. The dear lady has never liked me much. What can I get her, to improve her appreciation of me? A home version of the Dr. Kevorkian game. My cell phone contract is up for renewal. What cell phone should I buy that won't be obsolete by Sunday?

rosanegra -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/12/2007 5:11:21 PM)
A pink razr, of course! Oh, and DON'T buy the protection plan. They hold up great ;) How do I deal with the hangover I am going to have tomorrow?

CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/12/2007 10:48:12 PM)
Wish for snow so that you don't have to go anywhere. That way you can sleep off the hangover. My right wrist and forearm are really sore lately. How can I make the pain go away?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/13/2007 1:33:07 PM)
quote: My right wrist and forearm are really sore lately. How can I make the pain go away? It is a well known fact that liquid nitrogen is a wonderful pain killer. Fill a glass with liquid nitrogen and drink it, in a matter of seconds your arm will feel right as rain. My oldest boy thinks my car is a taxi. How can I best convey the message that it isn't?

Mercnbeth -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/13/2007 1:40:16 PM)
quote: My oldest boy thinks my car is a taxi. How can I best convey the message that it isn't? Stop speaking Pakistani. What's better cable TV or Dish?

FukinTroll -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/13/2007 1:49:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth What's better cable TV or Dish? Cable TV. That hot little dish on your arm there is waaaay to distracting. A sub is asking for cock pics. Should I send fighting cock or peacock pics?

HydroMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/13/2007 2:56:55 PM)
A picture of a fighting cock attacking a peacock. One if my co workers rambles on continuously about her dambass kids. How do I make her see that her children are morons and will grow up to be unemployed and living in her basement?

Subject2Approval -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/13/2007 4:04:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HydroMaster A picture of a fighting cock attacking a peacock. One if my co workers rambles on continuously about her dambass kids. How do I make her see that her children are morons and will grow up to be unemployed and living in her basement? I say slap her upside the head and tell her straight out. I would use curse words and yell alot as well. Then if you really wanna make a point. You can do it via singing telegram. Those are effective. Hoped I helped! Problem: I am overworked and underpaid. I need a real job with a chance to get ahead. Any suggestions?

Sinergy -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/13/2007 5:14:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Subject2Approval quote: ORIGINAL: HydroMaster A picture of a fighting cock attacking a peacock. One if my co workers rambles on continuously about her dambass kids. How do I make her see that her children are morons and will grow up to be unemployed and living in her basement? I say slap her upside the head and tell her straight out. I would use curse words and yell alot as well. Then if you really wanna make a point. You can do it via singing telegram. Those are effective. Hoped I helped! Problem: I am overworked and underpaid. I need a real job with a chance to get ahead. Any suggestions? Throw your hat in the ring as a Republican congressional hopeful. Then you wont actually have to do any real work and will make fabulous money. I have to go to work in a few minutes, and the dishes dont do themselves. What should I do? Sinergy

MsPoetress -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/13/2007 7:55:59 PM)
quote: I have to go to work in a few minutes, and the dishes dont do themselves. What should I do? Use them as clay pigeons, and use the left over shards as mulch. Roses love them! Problem: I reached for my dinner plate tonight and burned all my fingers, and my thumb. How can I get them from throbbing? ~poe

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/13/2007 10:23:10 PM)
quote: I reached for my dinner plate tonight and burned all my fingers, and my thumb. How can I get them from throbbing? Allow a small, furry wodland creature to gnaw through your wrist thusly detaching your ailing hand from your body. My computer is making funny sounds like it wants to explode or something... what should I do?

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