RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/13/2007 11:23:44 PM)

I would toss the damn thing out the window before it has a chance to explode.  You wouldn't want that mess in your house.
 
This neighbor's dog won't quit barking.  I've complained, but they won't do anything about it.  What should I do?



quietkitten -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/14/2007 8:37:56 AM)

Give the dog a steak every morning... laced with 5 or 6 valium..

I have still not gotten anything for my Master for Valentine's Day, what do I do????



Lorelei115 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/14/2007 9:57:36 AM)

"When in danger, or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout." If nothing else, it may amuse him.


My car is currently buried under about 2 feet of snow. How do I clear it off quickly and effeciently?




bearincuffs -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/14/2007 11:28:53 AM)

Find the most perfect slave in the world and have him/her clean the snow for you.
 
 
What is the best way for me to quit smoking?



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/15/2007 9:16:28 AM)

quote:

What is the best way for me to quit smoking?


Take up heroin instead.

Snow, snow, snow... where can I go with all of the snow that has engulfed my car?



MsStick -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/15/2007 9:36:29 AM)

You go to your tap, pour a gallon of water into a large jug, drink it all, do it again, twice more, and then you run outside and piss it all over your car.  INSTACLEAR.

How do I clean the massage oil stains off My couch (sofa/settee)?



CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/15/2007 12:36:20 PM)

The couch is a lost cause. Burn ir or devote it to only messy use.

I have a job interview tomorrow and want to make sure I look my best. What should I wear?



HydroMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/15/2007 1:29:07 PM)

Wear nothing, if anyone asks where your clothes are just give them a puzzled look and ask "What do you mean? I'm wearing by best imorted Italian suit"

There are pirates coming down my street.  How should I deal with them?



CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/15/2007 4:33:06 PM)

Give them rum and talk about the Aztec treasure you have in your basement.

I want fish, but we don't have any in the freezer. What's the fastest way to satisfy my craving?



HydroMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/15/2007 4:42:09 PM)

Find a fish tank and bob for goldfish.

I'm out of ketchup, what else is good on French...er I mean Freedom Fries....I'm American, if we say French the Dept of homeland security comes knockin lol.



bludemonn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/15/2007 6:14:04 PM)

'Dave's insanity sauce' but make sure you put atleast 5 table spoons on the fries of you won't 'taste' it.

I have a date tomorrow with a lady i have adored for soooo long my heart yearns when i think of her...where shall i take her and what shall i wear? 



HydroMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/15/2007 6:17:40 PM)

Well, first I think we discussed these delusions of your's before.  But I think you should wear pants if you're gonna be in public.  The authorities tend to frown on nudiness.

The insanity sauce keeps eating holes in my plates.  How do I contain the insanity?



bludemonn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/15/2007 6:34:50 PM)

ha thats easy Hydro you get these herbs and spices.... henban, dried sage, sea salt, Mandrake (heavy dosage) and deadly nightshade (belladonna)...(reading the label one sec...) oh yeah put some olive oil in a pan, throw in some mustard seeds til crackling, chop one red onion and 4 cloves of garlic and sweat....THEN sweat the onion and garlic...add 6.9 tablespoons of cider vinegar and throw in the herbs n spices, write on a piece of paper 'lorks a lordy my bottoms on fire....why do you spirits concieve and conspire?...from garden to kitchen to pan and to mouth...i bid you insanity...close the door on your way out!' then concentrate upon the message and throw the paper in the pan and simmer for 20 mins....open a nice bottle of red and then slather your mixture upon a chicken (dead and cooked or it will run off) then enjoy...oh yeah remove the paper and you should be fine in 6 months...TAXI! 



HydroMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/15/2007 6:41:07 PM)

mmm, belladonna....not the herb mind you.  You can use a live chicken.  You just have remember you bondage techniques...just use twine instead of rope. 

I believe my cat is a masochist...or stupid.  No matter many times she gets in trouble for something she just goes back and does it again 5 minutes later.  Which is she?



bludemonn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/15/2007 6:47:58 PM)

Shes a DOG dude! I think you ought to get her a companion....either a Pitt Bull Terrier OR a rabid Rottweiler...on Acid



HydroMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/15/2007 6:50:25 PM)

That would explain the barking.  Excellent where do I find her a sadist doggy dom?



bludemonn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/15/2007 6:53:00 PM)

Have you tried the cargo deck on the ship...


I have in-grown toenails what should i do?



HydroMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/15/2007 6:54:36 PM)

That's easy just cut off your toes...

How do I get my woodchuck to chuck wood?....cause right now the wookchuck can't chuck wood



bludemonn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/15/2007 6:56:47 PM)

Simple Sack him and change to GAS

Im going for my first ever Domme session later, what do i tell the Mistress? 



HydroMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (2/15/2007 7:02:58 PM)

For quick pain ask, What's that thing do?

Where can I go to vote on the quality of someone's ass?



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