RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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Najakcharmer -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/6/2006 1:37:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DiamondOrchid Go to India and get a Tea Master. Buy all the ingredients he tells you. Then bring him home with the ingredients and threaten to lock him in the basement with your horned sand vipers (he doesn't need to know they aren't in the basement) if he doesn't make you tea whenever you want it. But only do this if he is not a sub/slave. Then, sit back and enjoy! Silly person. If I'm going to India, I'm getting cobras. [8D]

jblack -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/6/2006 9:36:01 PM)
Well, I thought that DiamondOrchid's question made sense, even if it might not have made senese. Sorry, couldn't resist. [;)] Anyway, here's some bad advice for DiamondOrchid's question: Buy the biggest dildo that you can afford. Then, choose your sub based upon their reaction to seeing said dildo. As for Christmas lights, I say you should put up black ones. Imagine how cool your lawn will look for Santa if it's illuminated with black lights. My Dom tells me I need to be more optimistic and have more confidence. How do I increase my self-esteem while licking his boots?

ShreveportMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/6/2006 10:16:31 PM)
notice how nice and shiny they are after you get done, and take pride in that...to be extra proud apply a final coat of kiwi black with your tongue. my violet wand is burned out, what would make a good substitute?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/7/2006 1:07:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShreveportMaster my violet wand is burned out, what would make a good substitute? You really ought not replace it. You dont look or act like a fairy, so you have no business having a wand in the first place. Get a gun or something - far more manly. I'd like to be a fairy - 2 inches high with wings and lots of magic powers you know? How do I accomplish this goal in life? E

unownedredhead -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/7/2006 2:28:02 AM)
boil water and fill a bathtub with it.... climb in with a redbull ...the hot water will shrink anything and redbull gives you...... (giggle). Stop taking your meds and your magic powers will reapear. ta da! want to lose 10 inches off my waist, how do you think I should go about it?

pinkkeith -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/7/2006 6:49:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jblack Well, I thought that DiamondOrchid's question made sense, even if it might not have made senese. Sorry, couldn't resist. [;)] Anyway, here's some bad advice for DiamondOrchid's question: Buy the biggest dildo that you can afford. Then, choose your sub based upon their reaction to seeing said dildo. Yeah, I noticed that after I posted it. I rarely, if ever proof read my posts; too much work! Also, I think it made sense, but I was trying to give out really bad advice! [:D]

pinkkeith -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/7/2006 6:53:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: unownedredhead want to lose 10 inches off my waist, how do you think I should go about it? Everynight get your waist wet with water and put a heating pad on it. The inches will quickly melt away over night! (I actually seen something similar to this advertised.) I keep forgetting to water my plants. What is the best way for me to remember to water them?

QuietDom -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/7/2006 6:56:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pinkkeith I keep forgetting to water my plants. What is the best way for me to remember to water them? Smear yourself with the Chia-pet paste, and grow your plants right on your own body. Then they'll be watered every time you shower. My car is covered in ice, and the ice scraper is frozen inside the car. How can I extract the car?

ShreveportMaster -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/7/2006 7:01:35 AM)
two words...flame thrower. I want to make a flame thrower out of a garden sprayer and a book of matches, what's the best way to go about this?

pinkkeith -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/7/2006 7:13:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShreveportMaster I want to make a flame thrower out of a garden sprayer and a book of matches, what's the best way to go about this? First, you need to watch every episode of MacGyver as you can. That way you will be able to do the same things that he is able to do. After you have mastered the ability to take simple items found around your house into weapons, you know that you should hook up the hose to a pesticide sprayer, but fill it with gasoline. When you spray out the gas in a fine mist, light your matches in front of it to make a nice flame. Just remember to wear those gardening gloves, they are also good at keeping you from getting burned. What is the best way to keep warm while I'm outside? It seems like I can never wear enough clothes to keep the chill away.

PALittleGirl -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/7/2006 7:18:40 AM)
Get a heating pad... no, get several heating pads and wrap them around key points on your body. Never mind how long the extension cords get. My cat keeps laying on my keyboard while I'm trying to type. Now I've got fur in between the keys. How do I get him to stop doing this?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/7/2006 7:41:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PALittleGirl My cat keeps laying on my keyboard while I'm trying to type. Now I've got fur in between the keys. How do I get him to stop doing this? Grooming and shaving your pussy regularly will inhibit moulting. You then need to place panty liners on a chair near your workstation, as pussies much prefer them to keyboards. How can I prevent myself from making vulgar puns on this thread? E

pinkkeith -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/7/2006 11:24:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyEllen Grooming and shaving your pussy regularly will inhibit moulting. You then need to place panty liners on a chair near your workstation, as pussies much prefer them to keyboards. How can I prevent myself from making vulgar puns on this thread? E Before you post anything, make sure you have watched at least two hours of the Disney Channel. Then when you are posting something on the thread make sure you have a ten year old child next to you to read it over. I have a craving for some chocolate, but my Domme has me chained to the bed. What is the best way for me to relieve my cravings?

CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/7/2006 3:58:57 PM)
Beg her to cover a random body part in chocolate and let you lick it off. My father wants to have lunch with me this weekend. I hate my father. How can I get out of this without uttering a single obscenity?

pinkkeith -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/8/2006 11:05:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple My father wants to have lunch with me this weekend. I hate my father. How can I get out of this without uttering a single obscenity? Tell him that you would love to go but you're all tied up ... to the bed. I belong to a book club and we are discussing a book that I haven't read and the meeting starts in an hour, what do I do?

Dragonskiss72 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/8/2006 12:11:19 PM)
[/quote] I belong to a book club and we are discussing a book that I haven't read and the meeting starts in an hour, what do I do? [/quote] poke the others in random patterns in an attempt to convince them that you are communicating your ideas about the book in the media you read it in - braille I found a large amount of smoked salmon in my freezer that's been there approx 1yr. On defrosting it I wasnt too sure about eating it. Husband refused outright to be the tester. Shall I bin it or risk a garden full of toe up cats?

pinkkeith -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/8/2006 12:20:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dragonskiss72 I found a large amount of smoked salmon in my freezer that's been there approx 1yr. On defrosting it I wasnt too sure about eating it. Husband refused outright to be the tester. Shall I bin it or risk a garden full of toe up cats? Do both, put your cats in the bin along with the salmon. That way if it is bad, you won't have to throw away the dead cats since they are already in the bin. If it is good, you can just fish them out of the bin and cook them up. I have a million pens in many different colors, but not all of them work. I don't have the time to test them all out. What would be the best way to see if there is still ink in them without wasting a lot of time?

Dragonskiss72 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/8/2006 12:54:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pinkkeith I have a million pens in many different colors, but not all of them work. I don't have the time to test them all out. What would be the best way to see if there is still ink in them without wasting a lot of time? Take them to a playgroup. Small children get bored quickly with pens that dont work. How do I get over My cold in time for a party tmrw night?

pinkkeith -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/8/2006 1:40:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dragonskiss72 Take them to a playgroup. Small children get bored quickly with pens that dont work. Actually, that is pretty good advice! I think I'll have to take all my old pens with me to my parent's Christmas get together and have my nephews play with my pens! quote: ORIGINAL: Dragonskiss72 How do I get over My cold in time for a party tmrw night? Make a huge dinner and eat until you can't eat any more. ... Or is that starve a cold, feed a fever. I can't ever remember, but heck, it might work! How can I keep track of the birthdays of my family and friends? I keep forgetting when they are.

Aileen68 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/8/2006 1:47:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pinkkeith How can I keep track of the birthdays of my family and friends? I keep forgetting when they are. Just kill em all. Then you won't have to remember all of those pesky dates. I'm starting to not feel well. What should I do?

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