RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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jblack -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/4/2006 3:04:19 AM)
Well, sheesh. Now, I'm totally confused. I can't seem to find Sinergy's question, so I went back to mnottertail's still-unanswered query. However, I don't know why one would use cumin oil instead of cumin and am now letting my paranoid imagination run amok with the idea that maybe cumin oil has some kinky connotations that have flown over my head. Scholar that I am, I did a search on the Internet, that bastion of reliable and accurate information; all I could discover is that cumin oil aids digestion. Forgive me if it is used for other more, uh, creative purposes; if so, that might've led to a wittier answer. As it stands, however, this will have to do: Crumble up some Tums and use as a seasoning; it will add digestion and add a secret surprise to your recipe. My washing machine is nonexistant, the laundry mat is closed, and my sheets are filthy. What should I do?

Sinergy -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/4/2006 7:04:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jblack Well, sheesh. Now, I'm totally confused. I can't seem to find Sinergy's question, so I went back to mnottertail's still-unanswered query. However, I don't know why one would use cumin oil instead of cumin and am now letting my paranoid imagination run amok with the idea that maybe cumin oil has some kinky connotations that have flown over my head. Scholar that I am, I did a search on the Internet, that bastion of reliable and accurate information; all I could discover is that cumin oil aids digestion. Forgive me if it is used for other more, uh, creative purposes; if so, that might've led to a wittier answer. As it stands, however, this will have to do: Crumble up some Tums and use as a seasoning; it will add digestion and add a secret surprise to your recipe. My washing machine is nonexistant, the laundry mat is closed, and my sheets are filthy. What should I do? Seduce your neighbor and sleep at his/her place. I smell smoke coming from the kitchen where I am baking a cheesecake, but Graham Norton is doing something insanely ridiculous on TV like playing "Guess who the person's sex partner is that says "blah" during sex." And I dont own a TIVO. What do I do? Sinergy

jblack -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/4/2006 6:09:08 PM)
I'll turn that advice back to ya: seduce your neighbor and borrow his/her Tivo. I've got new furniture from Ikea that I can't put together myself, and my lover(s) are unavailable to help. What should I do?

LaMspeach -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/4/2006 8:56:47 PM)
Become a Domme for a day, collar 2 or 3 slave to put your furniture from Ikea toegther. When it is finished take off the velcro collar and set them free. I am sleepy and need to be in bed, but i cant sleep. Have any idea of how i can fall alseep fast?

LadySeraphina -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/4/2006 9:03:53 PM)
Get LaM to put you into tight bondage and stick a pillowcase over your head, then dump you in bed. You will either lie there until you fall asleep or struggle until you pass out of exhaustion. I can seem to prioritize what toys to buy next, what should I do?

Mikal -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/5/2006 1:08:49 AM)
Since you can prioritize which toys to buy next, buy them in the prioritized order. STOP BEING A LIBRA!!! in reference to bdsm & your sign post It's 4 am, I'm wide awake, and have no one to play with. I don't cyber. What do I do to relieve myself of boredom?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/5/2006 2:41:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mikal It's 4 am, I'm wide awake, and have no one to play with. I don't cyber. What do I do to relieve myself of boredom? Get yourself an imaginary friend. I have one - he dangles appreciatively from the curtains whilst I whip the skin off his butt with various implements. He takes it well too - not a sound. My imaginary friend thinks it all about him, and I find his topping from the bottom more and more annoying. How can I overcome this problem? E

jblack -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/5/2006 12:45:04 PM)
Tell your imaginary friend that he better buck up or you'll release him. That really scares the imaginary; after all, they would cease to exist altogether if it weren't for you. My imaginary friend has threatened to release me. What should I do?

LadySeraphina -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/5/2006 2:03:41 PM)
Tell him that if he releases you he'll cease to exist. That'll fix his wagon. My brand-new wartenberg wheel has gone missing. I've checked all over my playroom, and it's just not there. Where do I look next?

jblack -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/5/2006 10:54:40 PM)
Check your sub's shoes. Perhaps he was hoping to ferret it away unnoticed. If it's not there, make a new one using a pizza cutter and barbed wire; I'm sure no one will feel the difference. How should I treat the rug burns on my knees?

Mikal -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/5/2006 11:58:33 PM)
The same as any other type of rug burn. No one likes to be descriminated against, regardless of location. I'm going to Egypt in August. Should I tell the Egyptian fellow who messages all the Ladies on this site?

pinkkeith -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/6/2006 10:44:57 AM)
The quickest way to dry yourself off when you just get out of the tub is to hop in the clothes dryer. Not only do you get dryer faster, but you also get to have a lot of fun spinning around. This trick works best for men who are really hairy, or for that matter, women who are hairy too.

Petruchio -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/6/2006 11:51:13 AM)
quote: I'm going to Egypt in August. Should I tell the Egyptian fellow who messages all the Ladies on this site? Since pinkeith hasn't read the rules but did have an entertaining reply, we should have him/her personally tell the Egyptian. My birthday is today. What kind of spanking should I give my slave/date tonight? (I already have a leash for her.)

Najakcharmer -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/6/2006 11:53:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mikal I'm going to Egypt in August. Should I tell the Egyptian fellow who messages all the Ladies on this site? No. But you should smuggle some of those cute Egyptian horned sand vipers back for me. They're small, so they will fit in your underwear.

Najakcharmer -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/6/2006 11:56:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Petruchio My birthday is today. What kind of spanking should I give my slave/date tonight? (I already have a leash for her.) A really good one. Rent an industrial strength concrete mixer and make her stand in the middle of it touching her toes. I would like to brew a big batch of hot chai tea today so that I can sip it slowly while I work. How should I do this?

DiamondOrchid -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/6/2006 11:56:33 AM)
It's YOUR birthday, so YOU get spanked... give your slave her leash to spank you with. It'll be fun. Or not. [:D] How do we force pinkeith to tell the Egyptian that Mikal is going to be visiting his country?

pinkkeith -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/6/2006 12:03:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Petruchio quote: I'm going to Egypt in August. Should I tell the Egyptian fellow who messages all the Ladies on this site? Since pinkeith hasn't read the rules but did have an entertaining reply, we should have him/her personally tell the Egyptian. My birthday is today. What kind of spanking should I give my slave/date tonight? (I already have a leash for her.) Oppsie! So sorry, I should have read the first post first. [&o]

pinkkeith -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/6/2006 12:05:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DiamondOrchid It's YOUR birthday, so YOU get spanked... give your slave her leash to spank you with. It'll be fun. Or not. [:D] How do we force pinkeith to tell the Egyptian that Mikal is going to be visiting his country? We don't tell him, we forgive him and move on. (Remember, this is bad advice [:D]) How can I approve myself to follow instructions better? [:D]

DiamondOrchid -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/6/2006 12:25:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer I would like to brew a big batch of hot chai tea today so that I can sip it slowly while I work. How should I do this? Go to India and get a Tea Master. Buy all the ingredients he tells you. Then bring him home with the ingredients and threaten to lock him in the basement with your horned sand vipers (he doesn't need to know they aren't in the basement) if he doesn't make you tea whenever you want it. But only do this if he is not a sub/slave. Then, sit back and enjoy! quote: How can I approve myself to follow instructions better? [:D] Learn english... "approve myself" doesn't make sense when put together like this. Then, go beg your Mistress for a beating. How do I decide on what size of dildo to buy for my future sub, since I don't know their limits/capabilities yet?

pinkkeith -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/6/2006 12:30:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DiamondOrchid How do I decide on what size of dildo to buy for my future sub, since I don't know their limits/capabilities yet? This doesn't make too much senese, we all have the same limits and capabilities, so something that works for you will also work for your sub. What color Christmas lights should I put up this year?

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