RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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petdave -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/27/2006 8:59:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Fitznicely There is nothing. How much are you asking for the car, by the way? I really need to be asleep right now. Short of reading through misstresssavanna's thread again, what can I do? $2800. '60 New Yorker, seized engine [:@] When you absolutely, positively need to be unconscious, there is no substitute for autoerotic asphyxiation How on earth does one organize 140GB of bondage and fetish movies?

Fitznicely -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/27/2006 9:02:26 PM)
slowly. How on earth does one go about sending 50 DVD's intercontinental in order to beg a copy of someone's 140GB of bondage and fetish movies?

dcnovice -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/27/2006 9:38:38 PM)
COD How can I keep myself from waating so much time on collarme?

sleazy -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/27/2006 9:43:27 PM)
DVDs are not the best way to do this, due to the fragility of the plastic cases on dvds it best to rely on good old 1.44meg floppy disks that have their own rigid case, each one wrapped in at least 2lb of dodo feathers and shipped individually. Due to the potential of the postal service losing one or two it is best to send at least 5 full sets of disks or No need to mail them :) beg to owner to set up their own server and use the net. How can I avoid being jealous of persons with much better collections than I?

DiamondOrchid -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/27/2006 11:07:20 PM)
Steal their collections. How can I get rid of the newbie cone quickly without posting useless and boring posts?

Fitznicely -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/28/2006 12:03:01 AM)
Don't fight it. That's how WE all got rid of it, after all (well, me anyway)[:D] Does anyone know where to find about a million 1.44Mb floppies? Dodo feathers I got, but those floppies...

jblack -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/28/2006 12:08:21 AM)
Put a strip of masking tape across your monitor so that it covers all the icons, including the vanilla cone. How can I juggle four Doms and a career and still have time to do the laundry, dishes, and vacuuming?

jblack -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/28/2006 12:10:50 AM)
Aw, shoot, Fitznicely, you beat me to the punch. To answer your question, raid the attics of nerds everywhere; they are bound to have those floppies. My questions remains: How can I juggle four Doms and burgeoning career while still making time to do the laundry, dishes, and vacuuming?

sleazy -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/28/2006 12:24:21 AM)
Persuade 3 of aforesaid doms that before you submit to them they must prove themselves by trying the other side. Then use them for laundry dishes & vacuming leaving you to deal with only career and one dom. You could if desired set up a rota that involves all 4 in differing roles on a say weekly basis. How do I best cope with working a ridiculous shift pattern that means the only chance I get to talk online most intelligent people in my time zone are either working or sleeping (in the case of some staff here sleeping at work!)

LadyFrancesca -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/28/2006 1:57:25 AM)
Get fired. Then you will be able to chat any time you choose. My dogs have major flatulence problems. What should I do?

sleazy -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/28/2006 2:05:19 AM)
Store the offending gas and use it to run the furnace and heat the house during the colder months. whats the best way to store canine flatulence?

petdave -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/28/2006 2:36:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sleazy whats the best way to store canine flatulence? Steal oxygen bottles from the elderly. If times get tough, you can always sell them back once they've been refilled. What's a good way to stay awake at work after an evening of insomnia?

RubberWitch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/28/2006 3:28:08 AM)
a row of thumb tacks, point up in front of your keyboard I don't have time to pack, wrap presents, and post-yank on cm... how do I pack and wrap quicker?

Fitznicely -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/28/2006 3:52:23 AM)
Amalgamate the two jobs: either pack all your clothes in christmas wrapping paper or deliver your presents in suitcases. All my hoseplants keep dying. Any greenfingered wizards out there?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/28/2006 7:27:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Fitznicely All my hoseplants keep dying. Any greenfingered wizards out there? The only way I know of to become greenfingered is to pick your nose vigorously. How this affects plants I dont know - maybe smear it on them? This morning, I have been described elsewhere on this site as being offensive. I have arrogant down to a fine art now, but whats the best way for me to cultivate this new found quality? E

DiamondOrchid -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/28/2006 7:30:20 AM)
Stop bathing completely and go someplace hot. You will ripen quickly. How do I avoid falling into CM addictive behaviour?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/28/2006 8:00:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DiamondOrchid How do I avoid falling into CM addictive behaviour? If any of us knew the answer to that one, we'd all have jobs, be dressed and washed in the morning and not be here. There's not much hope Diamond I'm afraid; CM has you now. My name is Ellen and I have a problem. What 12 step programme is recommended to wean the likes of me off CM? E

SohCahToa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/28/2006 12:20:04 PM)
Step One: Acceptance Step Two: Seeking help Step Three: Contacting one of my clinics for help Step Four: Payment Step Five: More payment Step Six: Participate at a ‘You are half way there seminar’ at one of my outreach centres Step Seven: Join the ‘Society of Ex-Collarmes’. For a small fee each month but you get annual newsletters detailing how other Ex-Collarmes have moved on with their life and now have a better existence than your own. Step Eight: Yet more payment Step Nine: Helping others in a sanctimonious way stating examples of how bad your own Collarme habit used to be. Step Ten: Realisation that it’s all a con. Step Eleven: Sue me for all I’m worth i.e. 50p. Step Twelve: Moving on with your life/death. How can I make my posts sound less bitter?

sleazy -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/28/2006 2:01:28 PM)
Sprinkle sugar all over your PC, to ensure all components are thoroughly sweetened try dissolving the sugar in warm water first and then bake for 30 mins in a hot oven to get a nice solid caramelised post. What is the best way to keep theiving little sods from eyeing up my motor?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (11/28/2006 2:06:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sleazy What is the best way to keep theiving little sods from eyeing up my motor? Park it on deserted land and set fire to it. Once burned out it will no longer be a temptation to others. I burnt my car out on deserted land miles from town. How can I get home without a long walk? E

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