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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/5/2006 6:37:41 PM   
forcemarch


Posts: 184
Joined: 5/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen


My freezer is full of human body parts. I'm really not sure how long I can keep them in there without them going off - how can I find out?

E


Here's is my suggestion Unplug your frig. Every hour on the hour open up the freezer and take a good wif. Document this data. Make notes on the odor and the condition of the parts, observe decay, fluid loss and appearence of maggots.  After 30 days throw out the contents of your freezer, clean and restock. That's one way....

I have to travel next week for work. I don't fear flying but I just hate feeling like a sheep on a cattle car. Suggestions?




(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2041
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/5/2006 6:47:47 PM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Dress up in a wolf costume.  Embrace the identity.  Eat some fellow passengers.

I want to invest money now, but I have no money to invest.  What should I do?


_____________________________

Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to forcemarch)
Profile   Post #: 2042
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/5/2006 7:57:35 PM   
CreoleCook


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		invest other people's money... thats what most people do anyway.

I need sleep... any suggestions on how to stay awake?


_____________________________

"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

(in reply to willow06)
Profile   Post #: 2043
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/5/2006 8:39:24 PM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Take a bottle's worth of No-Doze.

There's a guy I think is cute in one of my classes.  What should I do?


_____________________________

Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to CreoleCook)
Profile   Post #: 2044
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/5/2006 10:05:31 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: willow06

There's a guy I think is cute in one of my classes.  What should I do?



kick him in the shins whenever he looks at you, tell your big brother to beat him up, and tell him how much you like him at the 20 year reunion

whenever i go to my favorite play club, i get a larger red/black/blue rash on my butt, how can i avoid this?


< Message edited by darchChylde -- 10/5/2006 10:07:24 PM >

(in reply to willow06)
Profile   Post #: 2045
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/5/2006 10:42:38 PM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Paint your butt yellow.  You'll get a whole new color combination!

*whines*  I don't want to wait 20 years for the cute guy, but I don't think he likes me that way.  What should I do?  (don't say 'get my friend to ask him')


_____________________________

Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 2046
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/5/2006 10:51:53 PM   
Bluebird


Posts: 384
Joined: 2/17/2006
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: willow06

*whines*  I don't want to wait 20 years for the cute guy, but I don't think he likes me that way.  What should I do?  (don't say 'get my friend to ask him')



You've got the kitty ears & tail - apply your feline nature and POUNCE him!
 
I need to lose weight but really have a sweet tooth (teeth).   Any suggestions? 

_____________________________

Love is patient, love is kind. I am neither. Get over it.

(in reply to willow06)
Profile   Post #: 2047
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/5/2006 10:57:55 PM   
RazorJAK


Posts: 821
Joined: 8/5/2006
From: Manistee
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bluebird
 
I need to lose weight but really have a sweet tooth (teeth).   Any suggestions? 


Go to a dentist and have the sweet tooth removed.  Then have him replace it with an asparagus tooth.

A (much) younger lesbian associate of mine has overtly "hinted" at wanting me to mentor her.  Advice?

(in reply to Bluebird)
Profile   Post #: 2048
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/5/2006 11:05:00 PM   
Tobes


Posts: 39
Joined: 5/25/2006
Status: offline 		Agree to it.  Tell her that she's going about it the wrong way but, in time and with your tutelage, she'll learn that hinting should be subtle.

I'm trying to write a musical but I'm afraid my upstairs neighbor will complain about the noise.  What should I do?

(in reply to RazorJAK)
Profile   Post #: 2049
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/5/2006 11:08:52 PM   
PrincessAmanda


Posts: 11
Joined: 5/29/2005
Status: offline 		throw rocks at the next door dog to get him barking loudly so they don't hear your noise ..

"My male dog keeps humping My Mothers male dog... what should I do?"

(in reply to Tobes)
Profile   Post #: 2050
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/5/2006 11:12:35 PM   
Bluebird


Posts: 384
Joined: 2/17/2006
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessAmanda

"My male dog keeps humping My Mothers male dog... what should I do?"


Get them some nice doggy lube.
 
My cat likes to hack up hairballs in front of company. How can I gracefully clean up the mess?

_____________________________

Love is patient, love is kind. I am neither. Get over it.

(in reply to PrincessAmanda)
Profile   Post #: 2051
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/5/2006 11:30:24 PM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Turn it into a musical production where dancers come in from other rooms and a celebrity sings about the angst of cat hairballs.

One of my bunnies seems to have emotional issues because she digs compulsively at people when upset.  What should I do?


_____________________________

Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to Bluebird)
Profile   Post #: 2052
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/5/2006 11:32:34 PM   
Tobes


Posts: 39
Joined: 5/25/2006
Status: offline 		Fire.  Just set something ablaze (wallpaper's a favorite of mine) and while your guests scramble to extinguish it, you stealthily remove the offending mess.

I threw rocks at the dog but now it's gently mauling me.  Any follow-up advice?

(in reply to Bluebird)
Profile   Post #: 2053
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/5/2006 11:38:33 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tobes

I threw rocks at the dog but now it's gently mauling me.  Any follow-up advice?


get some peanut butter and rub it strategically on your clothes/body... enjoy

the neighbor children in my apartment complex like to play on the steps just outside my door... what can i do to stop them?

(in reply to Tobes)
Profile   Post #: 2054
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/6/2006 12:31:59 AM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Build a trapdoor on the steps so that the kids will fall into a pit of robo-sharks.

I think my brain is being taken over by online comics.  What should I do?


_____________________________

Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 2055
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/6/2006 2:02:18 AM   
koimizu


Posts: 64
Status: offline 		gather them together and revel in the might of you useless knowledge of online comic trivia then try to follow the wise teachings of each one.  Don't worry about reality, it is just a nuisance to most people anyway.

How do i keep my cable from going out during power outages?


_____________________________

It Is Not A Question Of Honor, But That Honor Is Questioned


(in reply to willow06)
Profile   Post #: 2056
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/6/2006 2:38:11 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		buy a generator, and record a long play cassette with random bits of shows. then, when the power goes out, hook up the generator, and whack in the video.. voila, instant "I can't believe it's all re-runs!"

I can never get my hair to stand up like anime characters when I do costumes.. any advice?

_____________________________

Lets roleplay - I'll get the D20s
"Freud was...sorry if this is an over-generalisation...A coke addled kiddy-fiddler" Alan Moore
"A Lady must always remember her station in life - and be prepared to change at Acton Town"

(in reply to koimizu)
Profile   Post #: 2057
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/6/2006 3:01:10 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RubberWitch

I can never get my hair to stand up like anime characters when I do costumes.. any advice?


Buy a generator and get it working. Wet your fingers, and start playing with the output socket. If you survive, you will find your hair stands up quite naturally.

I'm bored of muesli for breakfast. What else could I try?

E


< Message edited by LadyEllen -- 10/6/2006 3:02:04 AM >

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to RubberWitch)
Profile   Post #: 2058
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/6/2006 3:06:34 AM   
CreoleCook


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		4 words... Vavoom extra long hold.

I've been awake for 96 hours, thanks to an overdose of No-doze.... and am now ready to sleep.... any suggestions on where to sleep?


_____________________________

"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

(in reply to RubberWitch)
Profile   Post #: 2059
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/6/2006 3:14:43 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		right on the very very edge of your mattress. you'll soon drop off

I seem to be punning uncontrollably. help

_____________________________

Lets roleplay - I'll get the D20s
"Freud was...sorry if this is an over-generalisation...A coke addled kiddy-fiddler" Alan Moore
"A Lady must always remember her station in life - and be prepared to change at Acton Town"

(in reply to CreoleCook)
Profile   Post #: 2060
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