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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/8/2006 12:14:22 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: willow06

I'm worried that the internet is my only true friend.  What should I do?



Go hug your water heater, it's been feeling very neglected lately

my Lady is very self-conscious about certain aspects of herself; and whenever she says something negative about them, i get the impulse to correct her and get in trouble... what can i do?

< Message edited by darchChylde -- 10/8/2006 1:08:29 PM >

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to willow06)
Profile   Post #: 2081
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/8/2006 1:06:25 PM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		This is a perfect opportunity to break out the sock puppets.  After an elaborate sock puppet play, tell her that she is fortunate not to be a sock puppet.

I smell something burning.  Should I be worried?


_____________________________

Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 2082
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/8/2006 4:08:32 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: willow06

I smell something burning.  Should I be worried?



since you posted this request for advice some time ago; if you're still alive and not surrounded by billowing smoke and flame, then its nothing to worry about. Otherwise, you'll not be reading this and we send our condolences to friends and family.

My daughter is adamant that my breasts are getting bigger, but I havent noticed any change. How can I be sure either way?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to willow06)
Profile   Post #: 2083
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/8/2006 4:27:13 PM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Have everyone you know feel and look at them periodically.  Have them keep journals on their observations.

My ice cream melted while I was messing around with MySpace.  What should I do?


_____________________________

Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2084
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/8/2006 4:41:20 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: willow06

My ice cream melted while I was messing around with MySpace.  What should I do?



Look, I know this is an adult site, but we dont all need or want to know that you were messing around with your "space", as you put it. I'm not surprised your ice cream melted. Let it be a lesson to you - fresh cream is much more comfortable and it wont melt.

I'm watching the US series "Sexcetera" on cable. The US seems extremely tame so I can hardly believe all you Americans on CM are quite as deviant as you make out. How can I test this?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to willow06)
Profile   Post #: 2085
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/8/2006 4:55:15 PM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Tap into satellite cameras and see for yourself.

My friends make lousy suggestions for these games.  What should I do?


_____________________________

Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2086
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/8/2006 5:49:22 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: willow06

My friends make lousy suggestions for these games.  What should I do?



Get new friends, or pick new games. Anything by MB is good, but games marked "adults only" are better.

I tapped into the US surveillance satellite (Willow, is that you? - I told you to use fresh cream for goodness sake!), but now there's a van parked outside signwritten Flowers By Irene. What should I do?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to willow06)
Profile   Post #: 2087
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/8/2006 5:52:51 PM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Invite the federal agents in to watch the silly perverted Americans.

I'm afraid to go outside 'cause all the crazy people are out there.  What should I do?


_____________________________

Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2088
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/8/2006 6:07:52 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: willow06
I'm afraid to go outside 'cause all the crazy people are out there.  What should I do?



Stay in the house - go outside - whatever. We're watching anyway.........

These FBI guys ate all my pizza and drank all the coffee. How can I get rid of them without seeming impolite?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to willow06)
Profile   Post #: 2089
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/8/2006 6:36:34 PM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Shoot them, bury them, say a prayer (politely).

There are a couple of houseflies bugging me.  What should I do?


_____________________________

Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2090
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/8/2006 8:40:11 PM   
Yang4yin


Posts: 1677
Joined: 7/26/2006
From: NC (USA)
Status: offline 		Tell them you're working on an idea for a RAID insect spray commercial and you'd like they're help in doing a dress rehersal.


I have to get some forms notarized but don't know what half of the questions on the form mean and so don't know how to complete the form. What should I do?

(in reply to willow06)
Profile   Post #: 2091
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/8/2006 8:47:21 PM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Put some of your limericks in the empty spaces.

I want to make more friends at school, but I'm very shy.  What should I do?


_____________________________

Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to Yang4yin)
Profile   Post #: 2092
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/9/2006 7:38:30 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: willow06

I want to make more friends at school, but I'm very shy.  What should I do?



Take wood shop, and build some new friends. They wont be a lot of fun, but you will be able to hide behind them when youre feeling shy.

Most of my friends are wooden tops. Does anyone have any good scenarios (a la the movie Saw), whereby I can dispose of some of them?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to willow06)
Profile   Post #: 2093
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/9/2006 8:06:00 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		the pbm thread just asked me if I was chipper in the morning, which gave me one idea.

How about using them as reverse voodo dolls to torture midgets?



I'm finding it impossible to be motivated in the mornings. any suggestions?

J

_____________________________

Lets roleplay - I'll get the D20s
"Freud was...sorry if this is an over-generalisation...A coke addled kiddy-fiddler" Alan Moore
"A Lady must always remember her station in life - and be prepared to change at Acton Town"

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2094
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/9/2006 9:25:59 AM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Don't work in the morning.  Use that time for sleep.  In fact, why wake up at all?

I find myself sleeping for very long periods of time, and I can't get any work done.  What should I do?


_____________________________

Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to RubberWitch)
Profile   Post #: 2095
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/9/2006 9:34:19 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: willow06
I find myself sleeping for very long periods of time, and I can't get any work done.  What should I do?



Come and work for me. I spend most of the time half asleep anyway so you'd be in good company in a good company.

My Czech employee cant sleep - he's leaving us, and he's a nervous sort. He's worried about his future. What should he do?

E



_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to willow06)
Profile   Post #: 2096
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/9/2006 10:25:20 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		Leave off the speed, and turn himself in to immigration

I need to hide my GF's present in a small flat for about a month. any ideas?

_____________________________

Lets roleplay - I'll get the D20s
"Freud was...sorry if this is an over-generalisation...A coke addled kiddy-fiddler" Alan Moore
"A Lady must always remember her station in life - and be prepared to change at Acton Town"

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2097
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/9/2006 10:42:34 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RubberWitch

I need to hide my GF's present in a small flat for about a month. any ideas?


Get a bigger flat, or a smaller present, so its easier to hide. I actually have some good advice on this too - put it in an empty suitcase. My kids are always clueless about how where their pressies are hidden, and theyre always in there, on the top of the wardrobe. Everyone seems to think if youre not travelling then the suitcase must be empty.

My flat is too small. Any ideas how to make it bigger?
E



_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to RubberWitch)
Profile   Post #: 2098
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/9/2006 10:47:51 AM   
willow06


Posts: 1122
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Un'flat'ten it.  (We don't call them flats over here...)

I saw a picture of a praying mantis eating a hummingbird, and now I fear the mantisesesesesss.  What should I do?


_____________________________

Never kill a boy on the first date.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2099
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/9/2006 12:11:40 PM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		copy out very small pamphlets entitled aetheism for insects


I need to come up wit some fun water tortures to be acted out in a standard 'appartment'.... any idea?

_____________________________

Lets roleplay - I'll get the D20s
"Freud was...sorry if this is an over-generalisation...A coke addled kiddy-fiddler" Alan Moore
"A Lady must always remember her station in life - and be prepared to change at Acton Town"

(in reply to willow06)
Profile   Post #: 2100
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