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CaringandReal -> RE: love and contentment (12/28/2009 11:44:39 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: osf
i think we over rate love as a criteria of a d/s relationship
perhaps contentment should be given more prominence
thoughts?
The interesting thing, to me, about love vs. contentment is that love is often uncertain. Contentment is a sure thing, particularly if both parties are content. It'll usually last a very long time, despite the ever-present threat of boredom. Reasurance, knowing that something is going to last and not vanish overnight is a wonderful feeling, particularly for those who have had lots of things in their life vanish overnight--thus many people will pay dearly for it, and choose it over love. And contentment develops its own momentum that can, sometimes, counteract the ever-lurking entrophy of boredom.
With love (in this context by "love" I mean "loving," not "being loved"), you don't always have the reassurance of contentment, that things will continue on the way they have been. You have hope, but often not a lot more, and sometimes the ambiguity of the situation can drive you to your emotional limits. To me, that makes it a much more interesting emotion to experience than contentment. The danger of "wipe out," that dash of terror, adds a very interesting flavor!
Obviously, love and contentment often co-exist. It's a strong combination and can last for years, even a lifetime, although that little devil, boredom--or a need for "drama,"--will often undermine it. I think once you've experienced something as solid as that, once you know it exists and in fact have had years of experience with it, however, you may find in yourself a desire to try different things.
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