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Players and Spectators. - 9/10/2009 2:26:09 PM   
fredllfixit


Posts: 13
Joined: 9/3/2009
Status: offline
Here's a question I pose concerning the internet and fetishes.
"Assuming you want to meet someone (in real life, not via internet or just telephone),  how much success have you had in %age terms in  achieving this aim?"
I mean on websites like this one, not payfor dating agencies.
daddy Fred/fredllfixit.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Players and Spectators. - 9/10/2009 2:54:38 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
Plenty but then I am active on the real life scene here in London, am well known and easy to find at certain well attended events. Unless they are new to the scene then chances are they have already heard of Me if not seen or met Me. I am already something of a known quantity, not just a bunch of pixels on the screen. Most of those I have arranged to meet I have met, the few who didn't I don't worry about as unreliability means non-compatible anyhow.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to fredllfixit)
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RE: Players and Spectators. - 9/10/2009 3:00:34 PM   
SweetNika


Posts: 955
Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
Status: offline
I have meet some wonderful people from online in person and I have meet some not so wonderful people. For personal reasons, going to munches or large functions are nearly impossible for me so using the internet as a medium is one of my few realistic choices.

< Message edited by SweetNika -- 9/10/2009 3:04:46 PM >


_____________________________

Blessed be,
Nika


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RE: Players and Spectators. - 9/10/2009 3:03:35 PM   
shadowowl


Posts: 198
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline
I hate live events unless they are really big which doesnt' happen where I live lol.   I like to blend in so the small time events they have in my hick town don't cut it. 
that being said I've met some great people on here, including my current owner and future wife ;)

(in reply to SweetNika)
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RE: Players and Spectators. - 9/10/2009 3:36:43 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
Actually...I've been pretty successful.  My first three submissives were all met over the net and I only got screwed over by one of those relationships.  Though the other two also ended, one ended amicably and one could have gone on if not for my own internal struggle over something I could no longer do.  They all lasted longer than 18 months and one lasted nearly 4 years.  Other than my marriage, I've had the same sort of experience in real life with people I've been involved with...some relationships last longer than others.

I've made nice friends from this life on the net and I've made some nice acquaintances from this life in real life at the events I've been to.  Personally, I think a lot of it has to do with being clear and real about who and what you are.  People are either going to like you or not whether in real life or on here but being real is something that can be carried over if you go from net to real life...a lie cannot be carried over on any sort of ongoing basis unless you are somewhat pathological.

(in reply to fredllfixit)
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RE: Players and Spectators. - 9/10/2009 4:36:04 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline
100% for me - met my Sir on this site and still with him   -    and he is the first dom i ever met(late starter )

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
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RE: Players and Spectators. - 9/10/2009 4:51:57 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
I am batting pretty close to 100% myself. Not all were compatable with me, but they showed up and we had a good chat. I couldn't find the place for a first visit twice, but did call/email to apologize for leaving them hanging. One other fell through because the other person didn't show up. As far as meeting good quality people, most of them have been. One glaring exception, but the rest have been great though things didn't work out for us as a pairing. I have had two great relationships also, one of which is the one I discuss most here and is very serious. I have met great friends as well. It is all what someone chooses to make of it from my experience.

lovingpet

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RE: Players and Spectators. - 9/10/2009 4:56:50 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
Like kiwi, met one and still with him seven years later.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Players and Spectators. - 9/10/2009 7:05:04 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5175
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
I have met about 50 people from Collarme.  The vast majority are still friends I see on a regular basis when I'm in their states.  A few I consider very special friends.  We socialize and get together whenever we can. 

I met Gary at a real life event, however, even he had a profile on Collarme.  We'd never hooked up online because we're from different states and basically confined our searches to people within a few hundred miles.  We met 4 1/2 years ago.  He's also  met a lot of people he first knew from Collarme. 

I'd say our percentage of meeting really neat people from here is over 90%. 

(in reply to fredllfixit)
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RE: Players and Spectators. - 9/10/2009 7:25:34 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
i've met several people and found that those seeking to develop genuine friendships/relationships that aren't based upon virtual discussions or limited to a telephone are open to getting together. i do believe that their feelings for you are a factor as well. there are some i speak to casually that i wouldn't expend an effort meeting, and others i know i'd definitely have dinner with if i was in the vicinity.

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

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RE: Players and Spectators. - 9/10/2009 7:36:26 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline
I met my Master here in April, after looking for about 2 months. I met several other people as potential partners, and one just as a friend through here over the course of the 4 months that I was actively dating. I met my previous dominant through a similar kinky personals/forum site, and we were together for 3 years. He also has a profile here. When I was searching on that other site, I went on dates with oh, a couple of dozen other people, and met a bunch just as friends at community events I attended or volunteered for. I've had a few weird experiences (mostly after the date), but no outright fakes or flakes.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 9/10/2009 7:37:25 PM >

(in reply to fredllfixit)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Players and Spectators. - 9/10/2009 7:40:59 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
I've had an excellent success rate.  In fact, there have been more people that have wanted to meet than I've managed to get to.  I think those who are willing to go to events, etc have greater opportunities.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Players and Spectators. - 9/10/2009 8:15:50 PM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fredllfixit

Here's a question I pose concerning the internet and fetishes.
"Assuming you want to meet someone (in real life, not via internet or just telephone),  how much success have you had in %age terms in  achieving this aim?"
I mean on websites like this one, not payfor dating agencies.
daddy Fred/fredllfixit.



I still chat with or see on occasion several people I met here.
Two of which I met right after I joined in 2004,where does the time go? (dang)

Just met another NSA housekeeper on here on the 5th of this month.Hopefully I will be able to say I still use him to clean in another 4+years of being on the site.

I have met a couple people here and there that I still communicate with from other sites.

I did go to one Munch,I saw the most beautiful girl Pony and some
other cool ponies too. I met some people,we dont chat or visit.

In general Distance tends to play a huge role in whether meeting people takes place or return visits happen.   Gas prices still suck.



_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to fredllfixit)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Players and Spectators. - 9/10/2009 8:50:02 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fredllfixit

Here's a question I pose concerning the internet and fetishes.
"Assuming you want to meet someone (in real life, not via internet or just telephone),  how much success have you had in %age terms in  achieving this aim?"
I mean on websites like this one, not payfor dating agencies.
daddy Fred/fredllfixit.


I would say about 80% of relationships I felt had real possibilities

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to fredllfixit)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Players and Spectators. - 9/10/2009 11:50:30 PM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline
I've met quite a few very nice people. I haven't achieved a solid fit yet, but I think it's due to my favoring a really odd and unusual kink that a lot of subs fail to be willing to participate in, and being picky about certain intangible qualities.



(I have this real fondness for naked men doing the dishes, and dishes seem to be a hard limit for just so many subs....)


_____________________________

I use fastreply. Don't take offence where none is meant.

Just because I'm not a bitch doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of making sure you'll be very sorry if you disobey.

(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Players and Spectators. - 9/11/2009 12:17:31 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fredllfixit
Here's a question I pose concerning the internet and fetishes.
"Assuming you want to meet someone (in real life, not via internet or just telephone),  how much success have you had in %age terms in  achieving this aim?"

Well, I wanted to meet someone in real life but it STARTED with internet and then telephone and only THEN was it face-to-face and in-the-flesh. I met Master here several years ago and we've been married over one year. Worked out pretty damn well for the both of us...........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

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RE: Players and Spectators. - 9/11/2009 4:29:47 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
I met my fiance on here..... soon to be married.
I have also met a number of people on here at munches and already had some friends on here from clubland, though most of my clubland friends tend to go to an English site. I have also met some great folk from over the pond as a direct result of this site and intend to meet a few more next year.

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Players and Spectators. - 9/11/2009 7:11:55 AM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline
I hate to break this to you, but, um ... you're a guy. You have almost no chance. Zilch. Zero. Nada. At least here on Collarme. Or any BDSM site. Even on Alt. Or Craigslist for that matter. (Read on before you jump off of that bridge ... there is hope.... but it's not what you think).

Your question must be broken down into (at least) two sexes. If you were a female, the chances would be 100% that you'd meet someone in real life. But, face the facts. You're a guy. You are in the super majority. In almost everything you do (unless you like to shop endlessly in the mall), you'll be surrounded with a zillion other guys where the only difference between you and all of them (including me) is your name (not even that sometimes).

My point is you're one zebra in a herd of millions. You're a guy for cryin' out loud. Face the fact.

Now that you've taken stock in yourself, you haf'ta ask "So how do you stand out?" The answer is as simple as the problem. You need to provide but you need V-A-L-U-E. Yup. Value.

It's a lot harder for a guy to show value to a woman than the other way around (that's why the numbers are the way they are).

You see, a woman shows value (to a man) differently than a man provides value to a woman. Her initial value is B I O L O G Y. Yup. Her body. Let's be blunt. Her tits. Her ass. Her thighs (oh, those ever so luscious thighs). Ooops. I digress. Let's get back to the point. Point is, it's vastly easier, biologically, for a woman to show value to a man than a man, biologically, to show value to a woman. Sure, tall dark and handsome is important (see the huge thread on that topic if I can find it) - but biology isn't enough to land you a woman right off the bat. Nope. It is for her ... but not for you.

Of course, these are all my most humble of opinions, but I'm trying to help you get it straight so I have to say it straight. Since a woman is basically born with value in her body (well, let's bring that up to 18 but actually, biology starts sooner than that), she's virtually guaranteed to "find a guy" here on Collarme simply by posting a profile. You, on the other hand, are virtually guaranteed to get only spamscammers answering your profile. Biologically, your body provides almost no value to a woman (over that of any other man). They're not just looking for a man. There are millions of those zebras out there just like you (and me).

That's why the numbers are skewed 1,000 to one in favor of her meeting someone (just anyone who wants to meet her) over you.

Now back to you. How the hell do you provide value?

Think about it. How do you provide value over and above anyone else. Ah, now you'll start to get it. What do women value? If you provide to a woman what THEY value (believe me, it's not your body any more than any other guys' body) ... if you obviously provide THAT, then you'll get "a woman". (It's a whole 'nother thing to get a quality woman but you didnm't ask for that - and at this point, you can't be picky anyway since you got nothin' t' work with yet.).

EVERY GUY HAS THIS SAME PROBLEM (in my most humble of opinions) ...

How do we stick out in a sea of zebras?

One way, most guys take, is to spam spam spam. They cut and paste. They email and persist and email again. Hell, that's called trolling and it works just fine. In fact, it's the time-honored way to get a woman. Just keep trying and trying and trying and trying. Of course, all that trying doesn't allow much time for introspection and thought in your emails to the lovely ladies (hence one of their biggest complaints ... "he didn't even read to the bottom of my profile"). Hell, if they only knew, he never even got to the bottom of her PICTURE!.

Anyway, this is long enough. Suffice to say you're a guy so you're just one mackeral in a sea of fish. Either you provide VALUE (and that ain't easy, it takes decades to build up value for a guy), or you troll like hell (that's much easier so most guys go that route). Then, and only then, you'll start to get "women" here responding to you.

Now, once you have a bevy of women to choose from, then ask me (later) how you pick VALUE out of your little tiny pond of women (all of whom are biologically the same, give or take, in so much as they have tits, ass, and those oh so lovely thighs!).

:)
Ciao,
Pompeii

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Players and Spectators. - 9/11/2009 7:57:12 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
I hate to break this to you pompeii... but I am a guy.... from here on CM and other BDSM sites 95% of those I have arranged to meet up with have turned up. So what you state rather goes out of the window doesn't it? Including what you mentioned about the 'value' of them having tits. ass and a cunt... I've turned down quite a number of invitations from people who had such 'value' because they didn't have anything personality wise that was of value to ME! Oh gosh, yes I'm picky!

Some of those have only ever been intended as a coffee and a chat... others have been potential playpartners (Leading to some very pleasurable play sessions) and others... The last three girls I Owned where all from (As in made first contact via) here and My current girl, whilst she had seen Me out on the London scene, our first actual comunication was via CM.

I don't spam (In fact I rarely send out intro mails), when I do memo I read the fecking profile, I only send to those where there seems to be a degree of compatability. I have good communication skills, I don't misrepresent Myself, I don't play games, I mean what I say and say what I mean...... and, the point is... I have quite a different experience of sites like this... despite aslo being a Man! So you can't really blaim your experiences on THAT now can you?


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Players and Spectators. - 9/11/2009 9:45:31 AM   
LordDarkPleasure


Posts: 91
Joined: 4/26/2005
Status: offline
I am unsure of what percentage you are talking about, but I can tell you I made 2 very close relationships through collarme.  of all the BDSM relationships I had in my life, treat that as between 20% and 30%.

the first lady found me, I found the second one.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 20
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