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pompeii -> RE: Players and Spectators. (9/11/2009 7:11:55 AM)
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I hate to break this to you, but, um ... you're a guy. You have almost no chance. Zilch. Zero. Nada. At least here on Collarme. Or any BDSM site. Even on Alt. Or Craigslist for that matter. (Read on before you jump off of that bridge ... there is hope.... but it's not what you think).
Your question must be broken down into (at least) two sexes. If you were a female, the chances would be 100% that you'd meet someone in real life. But, face the facts. You're a guy. You are in the super majority. In almost everything you do (unless you like to shop endlessly in the mall), you'll be surrounded with a zillion other guys where the only difference between you and all of them (including me) is your name (not even that sometimes).
My point is you're one zebra in a herd of millions. You're a guy for cryin' out loud. Face the fact.
Now that you've taken stock in yourself, you haf'ta ask "So how do you stand out?" The answer is as simple as the problem. You need to provide but you need V-A-L-U-E. Yup. Value.
It's a lot harder for a guy to show value to a woman than the other way around (that's why the numbers are the way they are).
You see, a woman shows value (to a man) differently than a man provides value to a woman. Her initial value is B I O L O G Y. Yup. Her body. Let's be blunt. Her tits. Her ass. Her thighs (oh, those ever so luscious thighs). Ooops. I digress. Let's get back to the point. Point is, it's vastly easier, biologically, for a woman to show value to a man than a man, biologically, to show value to a woman. Sure, tall dark and handsome is important (see the huge thread on that topic if I can find it) - but biology isn't enough to land you a woman right off the bat. Nope. It is for her ... but not for you.
Of course, these are all my most humble of opinions, but I'm trying to help you get it straight so I have to say it straight. Since a woman is basically born with value in her body (well, let's bring that up to 18 but actually, biology starts sooner than that), she's virtually guaranteed to "find a guy" here on Collarme simply by posting a profile. You, on the other hand, are virtually guaranteed to get only spamscammers answering your profile. Biologically, your body provides almost no value to a woman (over that of any other man). They're not just looking for a man. There are millions of those zebras out there just like you (and me).
That's why the numbers are skewed 1,000 to one in favor of her meeting someone (just anyone who wants to meet her) over you.
Now back to you. How the hell do you provide value?
Think about it. How do you provide value over and above anyone else. Ah, now you'll start to get it. What do women value? If you provide to a woman what THEY value (believe me, it's not your body any more than any other guys' body) ... if you obviously provide THAT, then you'll get "a woman". (It's a whole 'nother thing to get a quality woman but you didnm't ask for that - and at this point, you can't be picky anyway since you got nothin' t' work with yet.).
EVERY GUY HAS THIS SAME PROBLEM (in my most humble of opinions) ...
How do we stick out in a sea of zebras?
One way, most guys take, is to spam spam spam. They cut and paste. They email and persist and email again. Hell, that's called trolling and it works just fine. In fact, it's the time-honored way to get a woman. Just keep trying and trying and trying and trying. Of course, all that trying doesn't allow much time for introspection and thought in your emails to the lovely ladies (hence one of their biggest complaints ... "he didn't even read to the bottom of my profile"). Hell, if they only knew, he never even got to the bottom of her PICTURE!.
Anyway, this is long enough. Suffice to say you're a guy so you're just one mackeral in a sea of fish. Either you provide VALUE (and that ain't easy, it takes decades to build up value for a guy), or you troll like hell (that's much easier so most guys go that route). Then, and only then, you'll start to get "women" here responding to you.
Now, once you have a bevy of women to choose from, then ask me (later) how you pick VALUE out of your little tiny pond of women (all of whom are biologically the same, give or take, in so much as they have tits, ass, and those oh so lovely thighs!).
:)
Ciao,
Pompeii
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