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RE: Help displaying - 4/20/2009 4:50:23 AM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

He “owns” you but you have never met. I wouldn’t agree to be owned by someone I’ve never seen in person. I certainly would not display myself sexually on cam at this juncture.
He needs to be willing to meet you in real life. Sorry, but your scenario makes me think he is just looking to get off on cam.
Trust, but verify…..and if he doesn’t like it, big indication he has no intentions of moving this to real time.

I'm with catize, unless you are ok performing for the whole football team. Listen to those inner doubts, they are seldom wrong.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 21

RE: Help displaying - 4/20/2009 6:08:03 AM

bethsmith1988

Posts: 26
Joined: 12/1/2008
Status: offline

webcam pictures can be saved and sent to anyone he wants. Be careful

(in reply to ncbabe)

Post #: 22

RE: Help displaying - 4/20/2009 7:03:13 AM

TaoWoman

Posts: 140
Joined: 2/27/2009
From: Kpe'me', Togo
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ncbabe

We have not met in person yet, but we have talked on the phone for endless hours.

Endless hours over what time period? Days, weeks, months?

4 weeks. I know that's not long but we are in touch online every day and talk on the phone every other day or so.

4 weeks is nothing in regards to knowing a person, however, you probably do not want to hear this and will ignore the warnings posted in this thread. Personally, help displaying sexually for cam is not the assistance you need - making wise choices is. Speaking from experience here...
Also, you are not owned, merely partaking in cyber-fantasy...remember that~

_____________________________

The Teacher who is wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind~

Kahlil Gibran

(in reply to ncbabe)

Post #: 23

RE: Help displaying - 4/20/2009 7:13:56 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TaoWoman

4 weeks is nothing in regards to knowing a person, however, you probably do not want to hear this and will ignore the warnings posted in this thread. Personally, help displaying sexually for cam is not the assistance you need - making wise choices is. Speaking from experience here...
Also, you are not owned, merely partaking in cyber-fantasy...remember that~

As an aside, I'm often thrown for a bit at how popular the thought that getting to know someone involves what's on the "inside", yet communication methods that do not explicitly have a tangible element to them get discounted so easily.

Each relationship and interaction has its own pace and "knowing a person" can happen at any speed (particularly since "knowing" could have such a malleable definition). And, whether it's cyberotica or not, she's 'owned' the moment she decides she is and it's reflected in her actions. Call it naivete if you will, but the surrender is hers to give, regardless of the circumstances.

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to TaoWoman)

Post #: 24

RE: Help displaying - 4/20/2009 7:31:21 AM

SomethingCatchy

Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline

Since multiple people have said the same thing without giving any real advice to your specific question, I've got a few suggestions.

Have a few drinks before you get on cam to display for him.

Work out for an hour or so. You'll feel energized and happy and perhaps being on display won't bother you as much.

Tell him you need more time to get comfortable with the idea, but you're looking forward to doing it in the future.

Ask him to tell you what his favorite thing about your body is, and ask him to describe why. You could tell him you're using the information to bolster your self confidence, which you might be doing, but it'll help give you ideas on what to focus the camera on instead of being worried you're getting it wrong.

Do not get into any positions you can't hold for more than 10 minutes. This includes kneeling. If you feel you must kneel, make sure you have plenty of pillows and blankets to kneel on even if you have carpet. Being physically uncomfortable or even in pain will completely kill any fun that might come out of this. It's not fun to be wincing and sore while you're trying to look sexy. Unless that's his thing... but for your first times I'd say screw his preferences and do whatever you can do.

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Post #: 25

RE: Help displaying - 4/20/2009 7:42:59 AM

TaoWoman

Posts: 140
Joined: 2/27/2009
From: Kpe'me', Togo
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: TaoWoman

4 weeks is nothing in regards to knowing a person, however, you probably do not want to hear this and will ignore the warnings posted in this thread. Personally, help displaying sexually for cam is not the assistance you need - making wise choices is. Speaking from experience here...
Also, you are not owned, merely partaking in cyber-fantasy...remember that~

As an aside, I'm often thrown for a bit at how popular the thought that getting to know someone involves what's on the "inside", yet communication methods that do not explicitly have a tangible element to them get discounted so easily.

Each relationship and interaction has its own pace and "knowing a person" can happen at any speed (particularly since "knowing" could have such a malleable definition). And, whether it's cyberotica or not, she's 'owned' the moment she decides she is and it's reflected in her actions. Call it naivete if you will, but the surrender is hers to give, regardless of the circumstances.

Nihilus,

"....communication methods that do not explicitly have a tangible element to them get discounted so easily."

Not discounted, just not taken as complete. Experience being the teacher here~

If a woman is owned the moment she decides she is, is that really ownership? and whos' ownership...hers because she decides so or hers because she allows a Dominant to own her? Hmmmm.......

Ofcourse, cybererotica was not considered in the response to the OP as perhaps it should have been. Surely there are many meaningful and fulfilling relationships that take place in cyberland? And who cares if those "naughty photos" of genitals and videos of masterbation are sent out across the cyberwaves as blackmail or vengence if and when this budding cyber dynamic falls apart~

And as to truly "knowing" another....is that really possible?
Perhaps not~

_____________________________

The Teacher who is wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind~

Kahlil Gibran

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Post #: 26

RE: Help displaying - 4/20/2009 8:28:26 AM

Mikalsheart

Posts: 54
Joined: 3/20/2009
From: kentucky
Status: offline

When did P/people lose T/their common sense about what T/they do on line????

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 27

RE: Help displaying - 4/20/2009 8:43:28 AM

ncbabe

Posts: 1060
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

Since multiple people have said the same thing without giving any real advice to your specific question, I've got a few suggestions.

Have a few drinks before you get on cam to display for him.

Work out for an hour or so. You'll feel energized and happy and perhaps being on display won't bother you as much.

Tell him you need more time to get comfortable with the idea, but you're looking forward to doing it in the future.

Ask him to tell you what his favorite thing about your body is, and ask him to describe why. You could tell him you're using the information to bolster your self confidence, which you might be doing, but it'll help give you ideas on what to focus the camera on instead of being worried you're getting it wrong.

Do not get into any positions you can't hold for more than 10 minutes. This includes kneeling. If you feel you must kneel, make sure you have plenty of pillows and blankets to kneel on even if you have carpet. Being physically uncomfortable or even in pain will completely kill any fun that might come out of this. It's not fun to be wincing and sore while you're trying to look sexy. Unless that's his thing... but for your first times I'd say screw his preferences and do whatever you can do.

Thank you for the practical advice.

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

Post #: 28

RE: Help displaying - 4/20/2009 9:24:08 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ncbabe

He means sexually. We have seen each other on cam (clothed) and he has seen pics of my body but he now wants to see it on cam. I'm okay with what he wants, I just don't know how to go about doing it. We have not met in person yet, but we have talked on the phone for endless hours.

In that case, I'm with the others. I'd say don't do it till you've actually met him unless you comfortable with the idea that his friends might be watching and that he may post them everywhere. Hours on the phone can mean everything or it can mean nothing. Hell a man I was friends with for at least five years, knew my parents, dated, and then became engaged to still wouldn't give me back pin-up photos of myself when he ended the relationship.

You just don't know. If you want to proceed, have fun. But think about it carefully. Even if they don't see your face, birthmarks, stuff in the background, etc can tell tales.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to ncbabe)

Post #: 29

RE: Help displaying - 4/20/2009 9:31:42 AM

Chrisdeb7478

Posts: 23
Joined: 3/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ncbabe

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

I have no real advice here except that I just wouldn't. Not no way, not no how. If the distance is too much to even meet face to face for the first time, then I would be lacking that real flesh and blood aspect I desire. If someone I had met and even played with before wanted me to do this, that would be something entirely different. It's not something I am into, don't even own a webcam, but I might for someone I shared a real time connection with.

As for what to show him? I wouldn't show him anything you don't want displayed all over the web. That is the reality of what can happen with this, so guard yourself against it. If you are happy with it all being out there to the public, then I guess you can give him whatever show you'd like. Nudity and masturbation are usually good choices for sexual displays of the real time variety and I can't imagine they would be turned down in the cyber world either. Judgement is your best friend with this.

lovingpet

I will not be showing my face on cam when I do it and he knows this.

Yes but you have seen each other clothed correct on cam? Whats to say he hasn't screenshot captured your face and then gets some of the sexual things he says you should do on cam and put them up together. 4 weeks can be long to some or short to others. My Master asked me to marry him our first date and its 12 years later but everyone is different. If He is not giving you directions at most just show your boobs nude cause it sounds like he's not looking to Dom he's just looking for sexual gratification

(in reply to ncbabe)

Post #: 30

RE: Help displaying - 4/20/2009 9:32:45 AM

ncbabe

Posts: 1060
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline

In response to people's concerns about images of me being posted all over the web, I would like to point out again that I will be covering my face. I can live with my body being shown (if he turns out to be untrustworthy) as long as I am not able to be identified. If there is something else I haven't considered please let me know.

As far as being owned is concerned, is it not my decision to allow myself to be owned? He can only own me as long as I am obeying him. Especially when he is not here. If I am not obeying him then he doesn't really own me no matter what he thinks.

It is true that we have not been in contact for long. But I feel I know enough to do what I'm doing and I am careful about what information I share with him.

(in reply to ncbabe)

Post #: 31

RE: Help displaying - 4/20/2009 9:44:53 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I would recommend not considering yourself owned by someone you've never met in real life. Online relationships are all great and fine and stuff, but you don't know anything about this guy other than what he tells you and you're already considering such a serious relationship as being owned. You could meet in real life and everything he told you could of been a lie, or the chemistry you imagain there to be on th ephone isn't anywhere near as great as you thought.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ncbabe

We have not met in person yet, but we have talked on the phone for endless hours.

(in reply to ncbabe)

Post #: 32

RE: Help displaying - 4/20/2009 9:50:46 AM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

Well as usual I'm going against the CM tide when it comes to online relationships. To begin with the OP didn't ask for opinions concerning online relationships, only how best to present herself on cam.

I was in an online thing for about 4 years before meeting him, I've now been owned by him for a total of just over 10 years. So they can work. It just depends on what you want to get out of them, if you are okay with long distance and using the mind only.. then cool on ya. If you need more then please recognize it before getting into something that will hurt you. (General you).

As to presenting...
You can do a strip tease
Pretend you are modeling
Masturbation
Teasing yourself

There are no wrong or right ways to do it, especially since he is leaving you open to interpretation. To be faceless you could make a pretty mask easily and cheaply from a place like Michaels Crafts. They have blank masks you can decorate for just a few bucks.

Have fun, try to forget you are on cam is my suggestion.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to ncbabe)

Post #: 33

RE: Help displaying - 4/20/2009 1:26:35 PM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

I'm with camille, great advice, very nice touch with the mask
have fun

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 34

RE: Help displaying - 4/20/2009 1:29:37 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

For me.
There is something so liberating about being behind a mask, it removes the onus of being camille. I can be any one I want and let go of inhibition.

OP if you don't have some degree of fun and arousal with this task then I ask you to really think about what you are doing. I won't naysay the online-ism part, just make sure that you are doing things not against your true self.

Exploration can lead to new worlds.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to ranja)

Post #: 35

RE: Help displaying - 4/20/2009 1:34:54 PM

ncbabe

Posts: 1060
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline

Thank you, camille. I am aware of what my relationship with him is and what it definitely is not. And wearing a mask while on cam will make it more fun. I'm sure I will enjoy it, I just have to get over the initial hurdle.

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 36

RE: Help displaying - 4/20/2009 2:59:10 PM

brownbutterflyy

Posts: 5
Joined: 3/14/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ncbabe

My new owner does not live close to me and requires me to display for him via webcam. I have not done this before and am worried because a) I am very shy and b) I do not really know what I am supposed to do. I have talked to my owner about this but he has not given me any specific instructions and says he just wants to see first of all how I choose to present myself to him. He is very patient and tells me not to worry, but I do not want to look foolish in front of him when he sees me do this for the first time. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you!

Did he tell you to come on the messages boards and ask what "display/present" yourself to him? You might want to look up slave positions and go from there.

(in reply to ncbabe)

Post #: 37

RE: Help displaying - 4/20/2009 3:55:40 PM

TaoWoman

Posts: 140
Joined: 2/27/2009
From: Kpe'me', Togo
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ncbabe

As far as being owned is concerned, is it not my decision to allow myself to be owned? He can only own me as long as I am obeying him. Especially when he is not here. If I am not obeying him then he doesn't really own me no matter what he thinks.

It is true that we have not been in contact for long. But I feel I know enough to do what I'm doing and I am careful about what information I share with him.

Ofcourse it is your decision to "allow" yourself to be owned - this is cybererotica correct?. But don't decieve yourself that he is the one who owns you, not when you are in control of that ownership....ask the real time, owned girls on the gorean forum if they "allow" their ownership.

_____________________________

The Teacher who is wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind~

Kahlil Gibran

(in reply to ncbabe)

Post #: 38

RE: Help displaying - 4/21/2009 9:20:04 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ncbabe

In response to people's concerns about images of me being posted all over the web, I would like to point out again that I will be covering my face. I can live with my body being shown (if he turns out to be untrustworthy) as long as I am not able to be identified. If there is something else I haven't considered please let me know.

As I mentioned - birth marks, tattoos, jewelry, anything in the background of the webcam (a family picture on the wall, a particular poster) could give you away if someone wanted to prove it was you. It probably won't be an issue. It's a matter of being aware that even with the mask, you are not 100 percent safe from being IDed.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to ncbabe)

Post #: 39

RE: Help displaying - 4/21/2009 9:57:38 AM

shorn

Posts: 30
Joined: 1/31/2009
Status: offline

i'm with Camille, being behind a mask is very erotic for me.

He may be wishing to see what you do, what you consider he would find interesting. i, speaking of what i would do - not a suggestion to you, would strip to music and then dance to this: Bachanale-From the Opera Samson & Delilah by Saint-Saenz, ending on open knees in front of the camera hoping to be told to masturbate.

_____________________________

shorn

The thought of it staggered my mind and struck me with a wave of envious desire. To be in such a situation, bought for the night, available to anyone at the crook of a finger!

Phèdre – Kushiels's Dart

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 40

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