RE: Have you ever given your girl grief

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Have you ever given your girl grief

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief - 2/22/2008 3:10:02 PM

Lumus

Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lumus

The only question that raised my ire was,

"Well, wouldn't You prefer not to know, since you have so much on your plate...?"

I'll confess, my teeth were gritting a bit when I replied,

"Priorities, girl. you happen to be right near the top of them, so don't ever assume for a moment that I don't want to know when something is troubling you!"

I'm like dat.

Same answer that Michael would give to me.. :-)
I knew I liked you Lumus...

*grins toothily at BSB*

Long time no see! I hope all's well in your niche of the world.

_____________________________

<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 21

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief - 2/22/2008 3:11:13 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

its always nice to see aholes like you on here that flame someone for responding to the op's post. thats all i did. if you were a WEAL WABBIT i'd hunt you down with my rifle. dont like my posts...THEN SHUDDUP.

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to MadRabbit)

Post #: 22

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief - 2/22/2008 3:18:28 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

No never, when my boy has a question I encourage him to ask it. We have open communication at all times. I feel Dominants that do not want their subs/slaves asking questions are ones that may have insecurities or something to hide.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 23

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief - 2/22/2008 3:25:10 PM

Redoubt

Posts: 185
Joined: 8/11/2007
Status: offline

This issue always makes me wonder what on earth some people are up to. Questions about the relationship should never be punished... now "are you gonna Dom me tonight, or are you too drunk?" is just a recipe for disaster.

If the Dom in question (assuming its not the above question) reacts angrily to a question that is respectful, I think it is safe to assume that somethings awry in Slappy Land. Even if you're in a relationship where you're just an object of pleasure, never allowed an opinion, or a free thought, it should never be anger that prompts your partner to correct you that "sorry, you don't get a say... it's that way because I say so" - I can't ever see anger being a positive response.

More importantly, if you have questions and theyre not being answered, it sounds like more thought about your dynamic is in order.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 24

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief - 2/22/2008 3:38:20 PM

StormsSlave

Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline

I ask A LOT of questions, most of them starting with why. If a Dom were unwilling to answer my questions, I'd walk away. No more questions asked. The only time My Lord becomes annoyed with me is when I'm asking a question to make a point, and then only usually if I am right.

However, I do agree with LA, and have always. A dumb question is one where the answer is patently obvious or the question is intended to create discourse as opposed to enlightenment.

_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

(in reply to Redoubt)

Post #: 25

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief - 2/22/2008 3:45:11 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

For asking a question? I was reading another post and she said this "ok, I seem to have a problem with communication with my master, girl has asked several questions which has gotten girl into trouble so girl puts it to other Masters" Personally I've tried to encourage questions in most situations. My attitude it The only dumb questions is one not asked.

Have you ever gotten upset by them asking a question or gotten yelled at for asking one?

BadOne

I can't say that he's ever gotten upset or yelled over just a question. I know that sometimes he's gotten annoyed or exasperated if I ask a stupid question or a question that starts with "so I was reading this thread on collarchat...."

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 26

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief - 2/22/2008 3:51:26 PM

silvermuse

Posts: 259
Joined: 6/8/2007
Status: offline

I might get in trouble for how I asked the question, but never for the question itself.

silvermuse

_____________________________

There is darkness and there is evil, never mistake the two.

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

Post #: 27

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief - 2/22/2008 5:52:07 PM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: silvermuse

I might get in trouble for how I asked the question, but never for the question itself.

silvermuse

i second this.

kitten

(in reply to silvermuse)

Post #: 28

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief - 2/22/2008 5:53:30 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

No.

The only time I get upset is when they refuse to listen to the answers.

or they don't like the answer!

The main answer they seem to dislike is "Get over it."

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 29

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief - 2/22/2008 6:52:56 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

As a teacher and as a Domme, I'd like to join all those who say they never get pissed off at a question ... but that's not entirely true. While I do tell students and subs "there are no stupid questions, only those not asked", I do explain to them that I will get pissed off when
(a) the question has been previously asked and answered and the student/sub is trying their luck again (often with a slightly different wording ... trying to trick Me are you??)
(b) the question shows they weren't paying attention to previous answers/instructions
(c) the question is aimed at deliberately provoking Me (except then I do My best to NOT appear pissed off even if I really am!)
(d) the question deliberately interrupts Me ... might be OK if it's for clarification of one point before I continue, but not if it's trying to take Me off down a side path and deviate Me from what I was going to say (especially when that was what the student/sub guessed they wouldn't enjoy hearing!).

I never mind questions that are genuinely seeking to gain knowledge or understanding, and I don't mind someone encapsulating or paraphrasing what I have just said and checking that they have got it right. At least that shows they listened, and if they've got one little bit wrong but the rest right, I can correct the error.

Fortunately for my sub side, Master feels much the same way about questions and W/we have very free communication. That said, I think some are being a bit harsh on posters who bring their questions here. While I generally feel it ultimately needs to be resolved with the other person in the partnership, sometimes it is a help to get a feel for the wider view out there, or to hear other perspectives and thoughts on the matter. That can be very helpful in formulating the question you "really want to ask" your SO. Sometimes it's hard for people to know what they want to ask and how they should ask it clearly. Or sometimes, a poster has tried to ask their SO first, made a hash of it, and comes here for further help and clarification. I don't think that's always a bad thing. Let's face it, if no one asked questions, these boards wouldn't exist and none of us would have got all the fascinating insights into the lives of others that we get here ... nor made the friendships that people make here. And I for one, would miss that.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 30

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief - 2/22/2008 7:05:41 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

For asking a question? I was reading another post and she said this "ok, I seem to have a problem with communication with my master, girl has asked several questions which has gotten girl into trouble so girl puts it to other Masters" Personally I've tried to encourage questions in most situations. My attitude it The only dumb questions is one not asked.

Have you ever gotten upset by them asking a question or gotten yelled at for asking one?

I can answer this one for Master. I know Him well enough to know that the only question He would ever get perturbed at me for asking is one to some "other master." If I wanted to do what "other masters" wanted, I wouldn't need to be owned by the One I'm owned by. Asking some "other master" would get my Master to be one pissed-off Master, indeed. Why should I care what some "other master" thinks when it's irrelevant to what mine wants? Unbelievable.

I couldn't respect Master if it bothered Him to be asked a question. If He can't be bothered to fill me in on what I need to know to serve Him the best I can, why should I be bothered to give my life to Him? He obviously wouldn't have the time or inclination to direct it if a simple question always earned His ire. An owner/master, IMHO, has to contribute at least a little bit to the whole dynamic. If He can't be bothered to at least throw his 2 cents in, how invested/interested is he? Not much...................luci

***Edited for spelling***

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 2/22/2008 7:06:58 PM >

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 31

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief - 2/22/2008 7:43:12 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs
I can't say that he's ever gotten upset or yelled over just a question. I know that sometimes he's gotten annoyed or exasperated if I ask a stupid question or a question that starts with "so I was reading this thread on collarchat...."

C~

ROFL that has caused a few eyerolls from my partner as well.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

Post #: 32

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief - 2/22/2008 7:54:46 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

i dont give any one grief...i do what i do, say what i say...and they can choose to transmute it as grief, or as support, depending totally on their information filtering sysem and communication skill set.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 33

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief - 2/22/2008 10:02:08 PM

tdslittlehelper

Posts: 79
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline

I have never gotten in trouble for asking a question. In fact quite the opposite. I get in trouble when I DON'T talk...

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 34

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief - 2/22/2008 10:03:44 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs
I can't say that he's ever gotten upset or yelled over just a question. I know that sometimes he's gotten annoyed or exasperated if I ask a stupid question or a question that starts with "so I was reading this thread on collarchat...."

C~

ROFL that has caused a few eyerolls from my partner as well.

*Grin* me too.

To answer the OP, I'd say it depends on the question. I have been known to ask inappropriate questions before, and I know what they are. I have exhasparated him with incessant questions about a subject matter that annoyed him. I have been corrected for being inappropriate in the way I have asked questions. But to become angry for questions to gain information, understanding or clarification? Nope.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 35

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief - 2/23/2008 1:35:36 AM

PinkDice

Posts: 17
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Informed consent is a really big part of the dynamic I seek. If I were punished for trying to clarify a specific aspect of a relationship, I wouldn't be sticking around for very long. For me to feel secure, I would need access to the community in general as a sounding board and trust in my Sir or Ma'am to have the final say and to clear up any curiosities or misconceptions I may develop.

On the flip side, I wouldn't put it past myself to use questions as a form of acting out and would expect to be punished immediately in this case.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 36

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief - 2/23/2008 1:46:00 AM

wisteriaV

Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline

Master has never given me grief about asking questions. His theory is : If questions aren't asked then we would be living back in caveman times. Questions encourage growth and open the mind to possibilities!

_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to PinkDice)

Post #: 37

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief - 2/23/2008 2:11:29 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

Thanks all for your responses.

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 2/23/2008 2:13:32 AM >

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to wisteriaV)

Post #: 38

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief - 2/23/2008 2:27:30 AM

servantheart

Posts: 960
Joined: 10/26/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

Master has never given me any type of grief for asking questions, and without fail answers them patiently and fully. I am blessed to be His property.

_____________________________

When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things.
~Real Live Preacher, Real Live Preacher weblog, 07-08-04; Anonymous author of RealLivePreacher.com

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 39

RE: Have you ever given your girl grief - 2/23/2008 2:41:08 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci
Asking some "other master" would get my Master to be one pissed-off Master, indeed. Why should I care what some "other master" thinks when it's irrelevant to what mine wants? Unbelievable.

i know my Master well enough that this would piss Him off as well! i cannot imagine asking other Masters what i could not ask my own.

i am in a TPE relationship, i am property, however in our dynamic, Master owns this particular piece of property because it comes with some cool, pre-loaded data that He has total access to via an interactive system. The property asks questions and like a better form of Tivo, learns what Master likes, dislikes, needs, and then stores the information to anticiapate Master's needs in the future.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Have you ever given your girl grief

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.125