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The dark place - 2/19/2008 3:44:31 PM   
Hauptmann


Posts: 20
Joined: 1/30/2008
Status: offline 		I just pushed my little one very far. further than I thought she would go,

she is now asleep.

I hurt her a lot when she was awake.

the question is, is she doing it all cos she loves me? or because she really really likes it? she just wanted a cuddle?
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RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 3:47:06 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		if she is your little one I am puzzled as to why you would not know.

(in reply to Hauptmann)
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RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 3:47:06 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Are these rhetorical questions? Do you really think anyone other than your girl can answer them?

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Hauptmann)
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RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 3:47:47 PM   
MistressVnus


Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline 		I think she is the only one that can answer that question.  When she wakes up, why don't you ask "her."

Or, did you just want to hear yourself tell us how far you pushed her?


_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to Hauptmann)
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RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 3:48:40 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		It could be any manner of reasons or any combination. I don't mean to blow you off but it is impossible to say why she does it because I'm not in her head. For me though, some of it is because I genuinely like it.Sometimes because I know it pleases him.Sometimes I don't know what's going to happen til it does. Mix/match any of those and it could be her reasons.

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~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to Hauptmann)
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RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 3:48:57 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I wonder if you should ask her when she isn't asleep? I mean, I could postulate why she could do or think but that's all conjecture on my part. I believe you know your little one well enough that if you ask her directly, she will tell you exactly what her feelings are and you'll know that she is speaking truth.

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That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

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(in reply to Hauptmann)
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RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 3:49:32 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		If you were a master, you would know before you even started.

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Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to Hauptmann)
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RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 3:52:09 PM   
Paulsgirl


Posts: 249
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

If you were a master, you would know before you even started.




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~There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.~
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(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 3:53:34 PM   
Hauptmann


Posts: 20
Joined: 1/30/2008
Status: offline 		with each thing you post, your post count increases.

you having a go at me?

(in reply to CalifChick)
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RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 3:53:51 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		What you didn't say was if she enjoyed being hurt or whether by pushing her farther than you thought she would go that it was too much for her.

She could love (or like, or admire) you, OR she could truly enjoy being a submissive and craved what you did for and to her.  I am sure it was for more than the cuddle or she could have gone out on a vanilla date.  However, if you prasied her well and made her feel that she truly belonged then that could easily have meant as much to her as the rest.  That's why proper aftercare is so important - it literally can make the difference between a wonderful or a terrible session.


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(in reply to Hauptmann)
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RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 3:57:20 PM   
Hauptmann


Posts: 20
Joined: 1/30/2008
Status: offline 		chamber ... thank you. I understand a little better now. 

(in reply to chamberqueen)
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RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 4:07:26 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Ask her. 

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I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Hauptmann)
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RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 4:10:26 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

If you were a master, you would know before you even started.


Not necessarily.  No master is all-knowing.

However, asking these questions here will not give him the answers he needs



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RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 4:23:11 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hauptmann

with each thing you post, your post count increases.

you having a go at me?


I am aware of existing-number-of-posts + each-new-post = increase-in-post-count-by-one. 

Having a go at you? Seriously... how would strangers on the internet have ANY idea why your girl does what she does? Particularly with barely any information on what happened other than taking her so far, so as several of us have said, ask HER.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Hauptmann)
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RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 4:26:55 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline
quote:

is she doing it all cos she loves me?


she loves you because you hurt her.

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(in reply to CalifChick)
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RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 5:45:48 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112


Not necessarily.  No master is all-knowing.

However, asking these questions here will not give him the answers he needs




You are right of course...but when you push your submissive do you have an idea of what drives her?

I would not be with someone who didn't...it would not feel safe for me.

Of course we know very VERY little of their dynamic: does she have a safe word, how long have they been together, how much experience do either of them have...?...there is so little information here.

(in reply to celticlord2112)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 6:19:08 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

If you were a master, you would know before you even started.


Baloney.

Unless, or course, you mean a TWUE master.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 6:54:06 PM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		If you are asking, huge disconnect.

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to Hauptmann)
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RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 7:13:54 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hauptmann

I just pushed my little one very far. further than I thought she would go,

she is now asleep.

I hurt her a lot when she was awake.

the question is, is she doing it all cos she loves me? or because she really really likes it? she just wanted a cuddle?



I do agree with most of the rest of the posts and that you should ask her .. but something which hasn't been mentioned, which I do believe is important, is that she may not be able to answer you. If I had been asked 25 years ago, I would have either burst out into tears or, more likely, been unable to answer as to what motivated me. I just wasn't that self-aware yet, so, you know, just something to think about as you continue your communication with her.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Hauptmann)
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RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 7:31:23 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

If you were a master, you would know before you even started.


Baloney.

Unless, or course, you mean a TWUE master.



Noah,

Some days you and I are 180 degrees apart, today isn't one of those days.

I am reasonably competent as a dominant and some days I am not sure why I do or she wants a certain thing.  I question whether this or that is healthy.  It is the ones who never have any doubts that terrify me, or the ones who think "real" masters are perfect.  Haven't met a perfect one yet.

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 20
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