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RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 7:40:37 PM   
beltainefaerie


Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		I have taken way more than Master thought I could before.  (other times he knows exactly what he can do to me).  Sometimes I take it because I love the pain.  Other times it is because I love him and am proud to take what he wishes me to.  I enjoy submitting to his desires, even if that is difficult or not inherently enjoyable.  Definitely ask her.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 7:42:06 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Yes, I agree with all of the others that say you should ask her.  Make no mistake that is My first comment to you.

Still, the question for the sake of discussion is a good one.  The answers do vary, of course, from sub to sub.  In My boy's case, I am of the very strong opinion that he does love Me because I hurt him.  That has helped to strengthen our bond.  The intensity of wiitwd is amazing.  That being said, he also loves Me because I am also the one who takes the pain away.  (Check for the onion factor there, because that statement has a lot of layers.)

For emphasis, I'd like to throw this comment in.  My boy and I were playing a couple of months or so back.  It was a harsh scene, even for a maso, and My sub certainly fits the definition.  I had been flogging him, caning him, pulled out the quirt, (you get the idea) and then I decided that on top of that, it was time to do a little torture time with clothespins.  I'd applied quite a number to his cock and balls.  The boy looked like a porcupine.  Then I placed one in just the right spot, and it seemed it would be the straw to break the camel's back.  His breathing started coming in a short panting rythym.  Under great strain, he said, "I can't do it.  I can't do it, m'Lady."  I put My had to his cheek and whispered, "Do it for Me, lil one."  His breathing calmed and his body relaxed.  The point of this being, because he was doing it for Me, he knew he could push himself, that I could push him, farther than he thought he could go.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 7:51:56 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

If you were a master, you would know before you even started.


I gotta say I disagree with this. Sometimes, we wonder about the motivations of others. It has nothing to do with who we are...although, it MIGHT have something to do with our insecurities.

To the OP: You already know we can't answer the questions. Ask HER.

Master Fire


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(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 8:01:26 PM   
browneyedenigma


Posts: 9
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

If you are asking, huge disconnect.


If You are bothering to ask, HUGE plus.

That said...i also get what LadyH is saying...

i'm concerned that she took so much pain for You and You are asking U/us questions...what have You discussed with her prior to her sacrifice?
 
 
Sorry...spelling mishap...
 

< Message edited by browneyedenigma -- 2/19/2008 8:09:34 PM >

(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 8:07:16 PM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

If you were a master, you would know before you even started.


I gotta say I disagree with this. Sometimes, we wonder about the motivations of others. It has nothing to do with who we are...although, it MIGHT have something to do with our insecurities.

To the OP: You already know we can't answer the questions. Ask HER.

Master Fire



I couldn't agree more with you.  His profile doen't say anything about him so it is hard to know anything about his experience or knowledge.  I do know that it can be difficult someitmes for Dominants who do not have a lot of experience with D/s relationships to worry about their partner and second guess whether what they are doing is right, especially when they have feelings for their partner. 

I think his question may be more of whether she is enjoying the act and her submission or simply tolerating it to please him.   She is the only one who knows and it is foolish to expect him to be able to read her mind.

K

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 8:30:20 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		After she has rested and the calm has set in..I think maybe you should both sit down and discuss the play you had..ask her what she liked, what she disliked and why...ask her what feelings she experienced...and when you play, you might want to observe her bodies reactions, her breathing,is she trembling,is she sweating,what sounds is she making, etc..and go from that..also..do you have a safe word set up?the red,yellow thing which can tell you where she is in her head..I suspect, as someone else pointed out, the reasons for why she plays can stem from many varied reasons,,depending on the day, hour or minute..just always remember that open frequent communication does not only help when you have worries or doubts or when she has worries or doubts but also creates a closer bond of trust and closeness....Tempting

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I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to Hauptmann)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 8:39:47 PM   
shysub0951


Posts: 132
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline 		i like it when my Dom pushes me, but like what everyone has already said, ask your girl and talk about it.

(in reply to Hauptmann)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 8:51:07 PM   
blushingflower


Posts: 144
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		When you say "hurt" do you mean in the S&M way, or in the bad way?  Because that changes the answer a lot.
But again, you need to ask her.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 8:58:24 PM   
WingedSnake


Posts: 61
Joined: 2/8/2007
From: Dawn Weyr
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

If you were a master, you would know before you even started.


Not necessarily. No master is all-knowing.

However, asking these questions here will not give him the answers he needs




That is most certainly wrong. In asking here this question and considering the answers, he can tap into his knowledge about her. That is the way i read his question anyway, as a question he suddenly asked himself, did i gone too far, did she really wanted it, will our relationship be the same when she awakes, doubts and self questioning are the abilities of somebody who is mastering, his/herself and others.

Ruth

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(in reply to celticlord2112)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: The dark place - 2/19/2008 11:51:34 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WingedSnake


quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

If you were a master, you would know before you even started.


Not necessarily. No master is all-knowing.

However, asking these questions here will not give him the answers he needs




That is most certainly wrong. In asking here this question and considering the answers, he can tap into his knowledge about her. That is the way i read his question anyway, as a question he suddenly asked himself, did i gone too far, did she really wanted it, will our relationship be the same when she awakes, doubts and self questioning are the abilities of somebody who is mastering, his/herself and others.

Ruth


Asking questions is never a bad thing.  However, the questions in the OP cannot be answered by anyone here, only by her. 

As is so often the case, the resolution is for him to talk to her when she wakes--talk, listen, and learn....


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(in reply to WingedSnake)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: The dark place - 2/20/2008 6:01:11 AM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

If you were a master, you would know before you even started.


Sometimes I dance for me, and then is when I devour the pain like a starving woman at an all you can eat bar.
Sometimes I dance for Him and then is when I accept the pain as the thirsty earth drinks the rain.
Sometimes I dance for Us, and the music is heavy, tortured and perfect.
Master will never know which dance I do, without asking. I will never know which he does without asking. We only know that we dance. We cannot read minds.

poenkitten

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: The dark place - 2/20/2008 6:08:56 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		at OP

Did you do it to hurt her....or did you do it..because you both like it? That are questions you could ask yourself..the others..she might be able to answer.
(if she liked it..it isn't propably real hurting....)

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~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to BlackPhx)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: The dark place - 2/20/2008 6:16:42 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		The tone of your post indicates that you pushed her very hard, but it seems you don’t understand her well enough to know if what you did was safe. I would go very slow and leave anyone I didn’t know well wanting more instead of pushing. Work slowly and carefully as you learn someone. It could be the exact reasons will never be spoken or understood, but you will eventually know her and the right mix.

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You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to Hauptmann)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: The dark place - 2/20/2008 9:04:03 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

If you were a master, you would know before you even started.


Not necessarily.  No master is all-knowing.

However, asking these questions here will not give him the answers he needs




Did you buy your first car without knowing how to drive it and then take it on the  road?  If you had no knowledge, how many wrecks did you cause before you got the hang of it?
 
We are dealing with human nature here and there is damage that can be caused that isn't physical.  He almost sounds as if he may even have lost control of himself and wailed away and now is second guessing himself. 
 
She probably won't tell him if he fucked up or not.. for she will not want to upset the "master"  (you know, this guy who doesn't know if she's OK or not and is hesitant to ask). 
 
Here's a clue OP- if she starts to become a bit distant- you did.  If she stays with you- LISTEN to her suggestions.  Do not rely on your magic dick.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to celticlord2112)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: The dark place - 2/20/2008 9:11:11 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		Poems are pretty..but not reality.  One of the pair must remain cognizant at all times.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to BlackPhx)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: The dark place - 2/20/2008 9:57:03 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Is she sleeping peacefully and relaxed with a smile on her face, or is she curled tightly in a fetal position with her thumb in her mouth?

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(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: The dark place - 2/20/2008 10:09:14 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Is she sleeping peacefully and relaxed with a smile on her face, or is she curled tightly in a fetal position with her thumb in her mouth?


LOL

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: The dark place - 2/20/2008 10:11:45 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Poems are pretty..but not reality. 


I'll take poems any old day. The princess has always ran away with the poet.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: The dark place - 2/20/2008 1:06:19 PM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline 		Actually wasn't a poem..

it is exactly as the sentences say. Sometimes it's for me, for him or for us the only way to know is to ask. Only way for him to know is to ask.

poenkitten

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: The dark place - 2/20/2008 2:52:12 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Poems are pretty..but not reality.

So you were educated to hold that prettiness is what poetry has to offer?

See if you can get your money back. You were robbed of an entire world.

quote:


  One of the pair must remain cognizant at all times.
... and thanks for another One True Way moment.

 

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 40
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