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Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 5:49:19 PM

notnewnotexp

Posts: 19
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

Hi. i have some questions that go out to both doms and subs (and/or slaves).

How realistic is it to tell someone that you will always be ready for sex? i mean i love sex and I love to please, but admittedly im not in the mood for it all the time. And sometimes when I'm not, i just can't get there. I haven't been in a relationship yet where this is a problem, but it worries me that I won't be able to always be in the mood. are there subs out there who have had this problem? are there subs who ARE in the mood for it all the time? And if you aren't in the mood then how do you get into it?

And to the Doms... Is this something that is really expected of a sub on each and every occasion? And if you can tell that she is not responding well, what do you do?

i am really embarrased for asking about this but it does weigh on my mind that I just might not be able to live up to it. And it would help to know if there are others who have this problem. And to hear from those who don't!

thanks very much for your replies.

Post #: 1

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 6:01:00 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

Hi not and welcome to the forums.

If you haven't had the problem then why are you worrying?

I can't answer on if every dom wants sex on each/every occasion but I can tell you that I've met doms that don't push for that. It's an individual thing. Some yes, some no.
For me I don't want sex every moment of the day and he knows that. He understands that and doesn't get upset or angry.
Btw it is a good question and I hope you don't stay embarrassed, it's great having a place to ask I think!

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to notnewnotexp)

Post #: 2

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 6:05:54 PM

onmykneesb4Him

Posts: 113
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline

my Sir doesn't ask. i am expected to be ready at any moment. And truthfully, all He has to do is whisper in my ear, grab my hair, or something similar and i'm ready. Yes, i have a high sex drive, but it's more than that, its Him.

Having said that, He is sensitive to outside obligations, time pressures, etc, and would never decide it was time for sex when it would cause problems in some way.

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 3

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 6:16:48 PM

AEslaveM

Posts: 126
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

What onmyknees4Him said reads very true for me, as well........... My Master expects me to anticipate His needs, and lucky for me, i find myself in such a high state of arousal all the time, a look from Him, a gesture from Him, and that's all i need. It is ALL Him.........

_____________________________

M

(in reply to onmykneesb4Him)

Post #: 4

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 6:31:41 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: notnewnotexp
if you aren't in the mood then how do you get into it?

As His slave, it's really not required that I BE "in the mood."

What was that brilliant thing LA said a few days back? "It's ok to not feel submissive all the time. The important thing is being submissive all the time." I'm paraphrasing, of course, but that's the gist. Kind of applies here too, I think. I may not always be in the mood 100% of the time but that's not a prerequisite. As someone else has already said, it doesn't take much to get me in the mood though. Certain words, a whisper in the ear, pulled hair or a faceslap and I'm there! So, in my opinion, it's not so much always being "in the mood" as it is always just doing what He desires when He desires it

................luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to notnewnotexp)

Post #: 5

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 6:48:06 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: notnewnotexp
I haven't been in a relationship yet where this is a problem, but it worries me that I won't be able to always be in the mood. are there subs out there who have had this problem?

While I'm in the mood, or can put in it about 98% of the time, there are some rare times when I'm not in the mood. I let Valyraen know and he goes "Ok". Chances are, he wasn't planning on us on having sex that particular day anyway. If he did, well... *shrugs*

quote:

And if you aren't in the mood then how do you get into it?

I can usually get excited enough to enjoy the act just by what he is doing. Not every time needs fireworks for me.

quote:

And to the Doms... Is this something that is really expected of a sub on each and every occasion? And if you can tell that she is not responding well, what do you do?

Valyraen usually won't want sex unless I'm up for it too. If only he is going to be enjoying it, he finds going solo in the bathroom to be more practical and he enjoys watching me enjoy myself. Not sure what you mean by each and every occasion though.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to notnewnotexp)

Post #: 6

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 6:50:19 PM

MDTopCouple

Posts: 44
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: onmykneesb4Him

my Sir doesn't ask. i am expected to be ready at any moment. And truthfully, all He has to do is whisper in my ear, grab my hair, or something similar and i'm ready. Yes, i have a high sex drive, but it's more than that, its Him.

Having said that, He is sensitive to outside obligations, time pressures, etc, and would never decide it was time for sex when it would cause problems in some way.

I second, third, and fourth that statement. It's that connection. Also, in my case, He loves it when I am *not* ready for Him. Something about inflicting more pain, listening to me struggle.
I also agree that He can be sensitive as well... He just chooses not to be very often!

-Daisy

_____________________________

No, no, never a submissive anything! I'm a fully qualified, radical Desperado.
-Anne Stevenson
In the world there is nothing more submissive and weak than water. Yet for attacking that which is hard and strong nothing can surpass it.
-Lao Tzu

(in reply to onmykneesb4Him)

Post #: 7

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 6:55:28 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

Hello Not and welcome to the boards...I personally haven't had the occasion to not be in the mood as of yet...When I am in my Masters presents, I'm wet...I can't help it...If this ever did become an issue I'm confident I could speak with my Master about it, and He would be understanding.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to notnewnotexp)

Post #: 8

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 6:58:01 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Well for us it isn't about me being in the mood but wanting to please him. I personally have never not gotten in the mood once he gives a look or a little touch.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to notnewnotexp)

Post #: 9

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 6:59:12 PM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: notnewnotexp

Hi. i have some questions that go out to both doms and subs (and/or slaves).

How realistic is it to tell someone that you will always be ready for sex? i mean i love sex and I love to please, but admittedly im not in the mood for it all the time. And sometimes when I'm not, i just can't get there. I haven't been in a relationship yet where this is a problem, but it worries me that I won't be able to always be in the mood. are there subs out there who have had this problem? are there subs who ARE in the mood for it all the time? And if you aren't in the mood then how do you get into it?

And to the Doms... Is this something that is really expected of a sub on each and every occasion? And if you can tell that she is not responding well, what do you do?

i am really embarrased for asking about this but it does weigh on my mind that I just might not be able to live up to it. And it would help to know if there are others who have this problem. And to hear from those who don't!

thanks very much for your replies.

Maybe this is the reason rape fantasies are so popular with Doms?

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to notnewnotexp)

Post #: 10

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 7:05:24 PM

MDTopCouple

Posts: 44
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Maybe this is the reason rape fantasies are so popular with Doms?

I think we have a winner! What about rape fantasies being popular with the female submissives (and switches) too?

_____________________________

No, no, never a submissive anything! I'm a fully qualified, radical Desperado.
-Anne Stevenson
In the world there is nothing more submissive and weak than water. Yet for attacking that which is hard and strong nothing can surpass it.
-Lao Tzu

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 11

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 7:07:07 PM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MDTopCouple

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Maybe this is the reason rape fantasies are so popular with Doms?

I think we have a winner! What about rape fantasies being popular with the female submissives (and switches) too?

Because can be fun to be a jerk-or jerked around. Long as it's not REALLY real.

"Honey, I have a headache...........OWW!!! YOUR"E TEARING MY ASSHOLE!!!!"

< Message edited by RRafe -- 9/24/2007 7:09:20 PM >

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to MDTopCouple)

Post #: 12

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 7:08:40 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: notnewnotexp

Hi. i have some questions that go out to both doms and subs (and/or slaves).

How realistic is it to tell someone that you will always be ready for sex? i mean i love sex and I love to please, but admittedly im not in the mood for it all the time. And sometimes when I'm not, i just can't get there. I haven't been in a relationship yet where this is a problem, but it worries me that I won't be able to always be in the mood. are there subs out there who have had this problem? are there subs who ARE in the mood for it all the time? And if you aren't in the mood then how do you get into it?

And to the Doms... Is this something that is really expected of a sub on each and every occasion? And if you can tell that she is not responding well, what do you do?

i am really embarrased for asking about this but it does weigh on my mind that I just might not be able to live up to it. And it would help to know if there are others who have this problem. And to hear from those who don't!

thanks very much for your replies.

I have a pretty high sex drive but over the years there have been times where its lagged - stress, being under the weather, or whatever (sometimes it just does). If my libido's lagging I usually say something, although I'm sure its fairly obvious. But just because my sex drive is lagging doesn't mean I'm not expected to be available. Most of the times he'll try to give me a little extra of the triggers that help get me aroused, and sometimes its a service that I'm providing to him and its not about me orgasming and stuff.
C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to notnewnotexp)

Post #: 13

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 7:11:05 PM

favesclava

Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

i have to be ready at all times. luckily i have a high sex drive and His presence is all i need to in the mood.

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 14

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 7:13:55 PM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline

Back during our online days when we were fantasizing about how it would be in real life, he would say things like, "I will always be wet and ready for him." Then real life became a reality and along came my school, his writing, the UM, and PMS.

Fortunately, I have a really high sex drive and he is really good at pushing the right buttons.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to MDTopCouple)

Post #: 15

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 7:20:45 PM

apiercedkitty

Posts: 569
Joined: 2/22/2007
From: Michigan
Status: offline

i have yet to have that happen... i do know, however, that when time permits me to see Him more than i do now, that could change. Like others have said tho - He knows the things to do/say to make me hot in seconds so i don't see it being a problem. If it is, what i want/need/desire isn't always what's important to me anyway... i think i'll be more than willing to pleasure Him - even if i don't feel like being pleasured myself...

_____________________________

normal is a setting on a washing machine...

(in reply to notnewnotexp)

Post #: 16

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 7:45:30 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

My slave has a very high sex drive so that is usually never a problem. It doesn't take much to get her in the mood, so I do need to be careful.

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to notnewnotexp)

Post #: 17

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 8:08:15 PM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

as some have said, my being in the mood for sex is irrelevant. while i'm not expected to be "ready" at all times in the superficial sense...perfect hair, perfectly shaved/waxed, perfect mindset, etc....i am expected to always be ready in the sense of accepting and surrendering to him. my sex drive is not high, and though i crave sex often, it's not in the sense of being aroused or horny like many tend to think of it. so often when he wishes to make sexual use of my body i'm not in the mood and i don't magically get in the mood. but again that is not important, the important thing is that the quality of my service does not waiver.

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 18

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 8:09:27 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I shall only say that I stayed in my marriage 5 yrs passed it's due date because of similar activity.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: MDTopCouple

quote:

ORIGINAL: onmykneesb4Him

my Sir doesn't ask. i am expected to be ready at any moment. And truthfully, all He has to do is whisper in my ear, grab my hair, or something similar and i'm ready. Yes, i have a high sex drive, but it's more than that, its Him.

Having said that, He is sensitive to outside obligations, time pressures, etc, and would never decide it was time for sex when it would cause problems in some way.

I second, third, and fourth that statement. It's that connection. Also, in my case, He loves it when I am *not* ready for Him. Something about inflicting more pain, listening to me struggle.
I also agree that He can be sensitive as well... He just chooses not to be very often!

-Daisy

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to MDTopCouple)

Post #: 19

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 8:19:25 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

Wellllllllllll
To be totally honest; it never mattered whether I was in the mood or not. What mattered was that he was.
As to whether or not it’s expected?… that comes down to the kind of relationship that you have with your partner.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to notnewnotexp)

Post #: 20

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