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RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 8:31:43 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
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I have to agree with a couple of people here..It is not a matter of if you are in the mood, and actually it doesnt matter if you get off or not..sometimes it only matters that you are available for his use when he wants..if you get off and in the mood then whoo hoo..if not.....~shrug~...sometimes it can be all about you and sometimes it just simply isn't.....Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 21

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 8:34:20 PM

HisAvalon

Posts: 60
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline

While I get tired or cranky or just not in the mood, same as anyone else, Daddy's daughter knows her priority is to please and serve. Normally, whatever reason I have for "not being into it" isn't enough to interfere with that priority. Besides, knowing that Daddy is using me and getting pleasure from me is usually enough to get me in the mood!

quote:

Also, in my case, He loves it when I am *not* ready for Him. Something about inflicting more pain, listening to me struggle.

I know exactly what you mean, Daisy! I believe he gets off on knowing I'm not ready, not necessarily 100% willing, but I am there for his taking nonetheless. And I find that we both often enjoy when I'm not wet yet ... I can't speak for him, but I know I like that it hurts more.

Because of this, if something's really keeping me from wanting sex, and it's bad enough for me to tell Daddy, he'll understand. While he still might require my service, he's much more likely to talk with me and find something that works for both of us.

_____________________________

...This tower, it is my own;
Though it was reared To Beauty, it was wrought
From what I had to build with; honest bone
Is there, and anguish; pride; and burning thought;
And lust is there, and nights not spent alone.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 22

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 9:39:24 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Luci- more than well enough said :)

I agree with the others- you can be AVAILABLE for sex all the time. Being in the mood? Yeah I'm sure you're a horrible slave because you just weren't jonesing for the cock the day your family pet died.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to HisAvalon)

Post #: 23

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 9:44:51 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

I've never said no to Hubby in 39 years of marriage but over the years there were many times when i wasn't in the mood. He could usually sense this and was happy with just a bj.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to notnewnotexp)

Post #: 24

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 9:59:18 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Luci- more than well enough said :)

I agree with the others- you can be AVAILABLE for sex all the time. Being in the mood? Yeah I'm sure you're a horrible slave because you just weren't jonesing for the cock the day your family pet died.

Family pet death sex can be some of the hottest fucking sex there is....If you are not taking advantage of cleaning out your pipes as "Goldie" goes swirling down the loo...You are truly missing a golden opportunity....Folks, ya gotta think outside the box here....Some of the best anal I've ever experienced came about after "snowball" went cold....To each their own...Some view a pet's death as a somber moment....I say to my sub as they put Schottzie down...Where's the lube?

_____________________________

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 25

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 10:04:21 PM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
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Like we all don't know that if you're good at what you do, your Dominant will
be catching z's and you'll be back painting your toe nails and popping your gum
before the commercial break is over.

chia* (the pet)

< Message edited by chiaThePet -- 9/24/2007 10:42:50 PM >

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to notnewnotexp)

Post #: 26

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 10:18:23 PM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

I'll be the odd one out here...if I'm not in the mood, sex doesn't happen. The idea of being available all of the time appeals to me, but in reality sex when I'm not in the mood makes me feel icky in a molested sort of way.

I enjoy rape fantasies just as much as the next kinkster, but I have to be turned on for it to really be enjoyable.

Daddy takes me as I am and I appreciate Him giving me the veto on this particular issue. He's not always happy about it, but my emotional well being comes first. If He insisted that I be available, then I would do my level best...but I'm just glad He's wonderful about this. That comes full circle...the more supportive He is the more often I want sex.

You might want to consider why you're feeling antsy about this issue. I'm fairly sure it's my anti-depressants that mess with my libido, but again with the mental health thing. And, Daddy does have a way of pushing my buttons in the wonderfully right order, so we're hardly just roommates...

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to notnewnotexp)

Post #: 27

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 10:34:17 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

Ditto to pretty much what everyone else said, although I've never had a livein d/s relationship, that might be different.

I tend to have more trouble with having the time for it than any desire and my desire isn't really all that relevant, although I'm pretty easy to get going.

(in reply to spanklette)

Post #: 28

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/24/2007 11:06:12 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

More the opposite problem here, i'm just about always in the mood and He's the One who takes a bit to get going! i do try not to keep looking at Him with this "i'm here, fuck me!" look, (cos then He feels guilty), but it's difficult cos He turns me on! Bearing in mind He is 36 and i am 51 ... yeah, i'm just a horny old bird LOL!

There have been some occasions when i've been in the mood for sex but not necessarily for orgasm ... and that's just fine because then i can totally focus on feeling His pleasure and i love it. There've been times when He's fucking me and sensed i wasn't ready to cum and tried to finger me at the same time ... and i've said "not unless You really want me to cum Master, i'm happy to focus on You!" Sometimes He's stopped the finger and just cum, other times He says, "No I want you to cum too dammit!" and i shut up and focus!

i count myself as very lucky to have a considerate Master who gets a LOT of pleasure at other times from just playing with me and making me cum for Him without wanting anything in return.

violet[A] aka Maam Jay

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 29

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/25/2007 2:40:55 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

As the others have said, does he require that you be interested and aroused? Because if he does, then he will accept that sometimes you aren't going to be. In those cases, what's important is to explain exactly what the problem is; stress, illness, worry, etc and if possible, what you need in order to get aroused ie Advil and a half hour nap.

If he doesn't care if you enjoy it, then that's simpler. Unless there's a reason you need to beg off and in that case you still need to explain it.

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 30

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/25/2007 6:01:35 AM

SirCache

Posts: 159
Joined: 3/26/2005
Status: offline

The only thing that is expected is obedience. If she is not responding, she can be taken anyways--with a caveat. If she has expressed some kind of emotional or physical reason why she would be unable to (loss of a family member/friend, or is sick) I would not require any kind of sexual activity from her. Every other time, yes. To be fair, sometimes I am not in the mood to orgasm, I just want to be inside her for a bit, get her warmed up before she goes out, goes to work, etc.

(in reply to notnewnotexp)

Post #: 31

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/25/2007 6:23:55 AM

feralcat

Posts: 116
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

Oh it is most definately about "connection". A chemistry we get ,special...like having our own little secret of sorts.

Simple words or gestures get rook all wound up...and yes there is a GREAT rush just "taking" rook or using him when I need- ready or not! Something about the "rawness" excites me.The power to do as I please.without his "consent".

I think this lifestyle -with all its images,gear,visuals,fantasies,creativity- just tends to make us more sexually ready than any of my prior vanilla relationships. Damn I can pervet almost anything and sometimes just a simple conversation gets us randy! Poor rook suffers more than I do,'cause I am an awful teaser! hahaha

MsFeral

(in reply to MDTopCouple)

Post #: 32

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/25/2007 7:11:22 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: feralcat

Oh it is most definately about "connection". A chemistry we get ,special...like having our own little secret of sorts.

Simple words or gestures get rook all wound up...and yes there is a GREAT rush just "taking" rook or using him when I need- ready or not! Something about the "rawness" excites me.The power to do as I please.without his "consent".

I think this lifestyle -with all its images,gear,visuals,fantasies,creativity- just tends to make us more sexually ready than any of my prior vanilla relationships. Damn I can pervet almost anything and sometimes just a simple conversation gets us randy! Poor rook suffers more than I do,'cause I am an awful teaser! hahaha

MsFeral

I find this last paragraph very positive, in light of an article sent to me this morning by a friend. The article is here... http://www.thedomsview.com/Vol8/I1/gettingstarted.htm

As you read through the article, you will find the feelings expressed by MsFeral about dress and attitudes and openness and communication and how all these play into a heightened sexual awareness explained in a more clinical manner and also summed up in much the same way MsFeral does.

I don't require a submissive to always be aroused and ready. I do expect her to understand that whether she is in the mood or not is going to matter at various levels...if a friend is very sick or there is some immediate AND serious crisis at work I would be more likely, as others have noted, to talk to her about the situation. For the most part though, I expect her to submit. Hopefully, the attitudes and behaviors and modes of dress maintained and her response to me helps the arousal along.

(in reply to feralcat)

Post #: 33

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/25/2007 7:23:12 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

I agree with Mist. It doesn't matter if my girls in the mood at all. When I want to fuck one of them, regardless of anything else, I do. It's part of the whole submission thing.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 34

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/25/2007 7:39:12 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

Like we all don't know that if you're good at what you do, your Dominant will
be catching z's and you'll be back painting your toe nails and popping your gum
before the commercial break is over.

chia* (the pet)

lmbo...i'm guessing you don't know very many Dominants, if you actually believe that's the way it works.

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Post #: 35

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/25/2007 7:41:53 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

Like we all don't know that if you're good at what you do, your Dominant will
be catching z's and you'll be back painting your toe nails and popping your gum
before the commercial break is over.

chia* (the pet)

lmbo...i'm guessing you don't know very many Dominants, if you actually believe that's the way it works.

Or maybe i'm just good at what i do.

Pop Pop

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 36

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/25/2007 7:46:11 AM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AEslaveM

a look from Him, a gesture from Him, and that's all i need. It is ALL Him.........

That about says it all. I am always ready if Scooter is anywhere in the vicinity.

The way he smells, his smile, his cute little butt in jeans........damnit, six more hours until he is home!

Seriously, i can go all day and never think a pornographic thought then he comes home and suddenly every thought turns dirty.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to AEslaveM)

Post #: 37

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/25/2007 7:48:29 AM

MizKittenD

Posts: 14
Joined: 9/24/2007
From: Los Angeles, CA
Status: offline

To put in my seven cents, I'd like to say that I'm six of one, half dozen of the other. If you have a Dominant that's really in tune with your needs as a sub, They should be able not only to be able to flick that switch, so to speak, pretty readily and know just what will get you going even if you didn't expect it, and also to be able to sense when, hey, it's just not going to happen this time.

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 38

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/25/2007 8:18:32 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MDTopCouple

quote:

ORIGINAL: onmykneesb4Him

my Sir doesn't ask. i am expected to be ready at any moment. And truthfully, all He has to do is whisper in my ear, grab my hair, or something similar and i'm ready. Yes, i have a high sex drive, but it's more than that, its Him.

Having said that, He is sensitive to outside obligations, time pressures, etc, and would never decide it was time for sex when it would cause problems in some way.

I second, third, and fourth that statement. It's that connection. Also, in my case, He loves it when I am *not* ready for Him. Something about inflicting more pain, listening to me struggle.
I also agree that He can be sensitive as well... He just chooses not to be very often!

-Daisy

Agree: as what actually defines a Dominant for me is that I am always ready. willing and able for whatever HE wants whether it's sexual or not....but then fortuneately everything was/is sexual even when I first saw his face in an email.....not being sexual is sexual if you catch my drift and also; since I switch I know that when I am dominant the sense of responsibility for my sweet girlie often overrides my participating in the sex part of domination....as I understand that what she loves is having the decison/choice about the sexual content being taken away.....sometimes it's a tease and heightens the arousal for me simply to deny sex when I am domme. If I get it organised and arranged in time for his return (as requested) for a domestic/pesonal slave for Him and me then I shall expect chastity except when I request release..................
what's sex got to do got to do with it
what's sex but second-hand devotion.......NOT the words of the song but the bdsm euqivalent?

(in reply to MDTopCouple)

Post #: 39

RE: Is it really possible? - 9/25/2007 8:18:58 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: notnewnotexp
if you aren't in the mood then how do you get into it?

As His slave, it's really not required that I BE "in the mood." What was that brilliant thing LA said a few days back? "It's ok to not feel submissive all the time. The important thing is being submissive all the time." I'm paraphrasing, of course, but that's the gist. Kind of applies here too, I think. I may not always be in the mood 100% of the time but that's not a prerequisite. As someone else has already said, it doesn't take much to get me in the mood though. Certain words, a whisper in the ear, pulled hair or a faceslap and I'm there! So, in my opinion, it's not so much always being "in the mood" as it is always just doing what He desires when He desires it................luci

I cannot write it better then that. Being submissive in a significant 24/7 power exchange relationship is having an understanding and accepting that things done are not always done with the warm fuzzies. It is an agreement and commitment to how the two agree to live life.

If your agreement is to always be willing to have sex then regardless of your mood be ready for sex. If you are not in the mood a little acting and accepting you are their for him this time. Not really different then making dinner when you are tired. This is a big part of casting off societal expectations to me. If agreed upon in the relationship then do not treat it like you would in a regular relationship.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 40

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