RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex?

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RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex? - 4/8/2007 5:53:39 PM

tasha_tart

Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

If you have a master who is happy with you as you are, then others' views of your sex-drive, or lack of same, shouldn't matter.

Certainly some M/s relationships are much more sexual than others, but if you've got a relationship that is working for both of you, I'd just be happy about that.

Tasha

(in reply to nephandi)

Post #: 21

RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex? - 4/8/2007 5:59:27 PM

BabyNyla

Posts: 578
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline

I went 27 years without sex and only began having it after marrying my Dom. It's something that has been hard for me ... mainly due to my past ... but he knows my feelings and is always willing to work with me. It's nothing that has help our relationship back, because we communicate about it and talk about how I am feeling and what I do and don't want to do.

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(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 22

RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex? - 4/8/2007 6:03:58 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad
FukinTroll,

My only requirement of her in this regard is obedience, and she is definitely prized. We have discussed this, but it will take time for her to overcome her upbringing and stop seeking external reassurance.

Thanks Aswad. This has been on mind a bit and I am glad you replied.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to Aswad)

Post #: 23

RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex? - 4/8/2007 6:21:11 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

I hope it isn't wrong exactly as my sex drive is about to take a huge nose dive now i'm back on the prozac. Haven't told Him yet, but pretty sure He'll understand.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to FukinTroll)

Post #: 24

RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex? - 4/8/2007 6:40:44 PM

Aswad

Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

thetammyjo,

Nod. Quite agree on all points. Although I kind of like a bit of responsibility as well. Without challenges, struggles and conflicts, what fun would life be? lol

BabyNyla,

Communication is obviously central to making a relationship work for both parties. It would appear that most BDSM'ers are more aware of this than the vanilla population. I have seen so many vanilla relationships go down the drain due to people not communicating with each other.

Also, obviously, relationships can take a fair bit of work to maintain, regardless of the type. Kind of like protecting your investment. Too few people realize that "chemistry" just isn't enough in the long run, if one is unwilling to put in the effort.

FukinTroll,

You're welcome. What, exactly, has been on your mind in what way, if you don't mind me asking?

missturbation,

SSRI-induced sexual dysfunction is a bitch. Have you tried any other meds? There are a lot of sex-neutral and even sex-positive alternatives out there for most conditions. I have been trying to drive this point home with medstudents, doctors and pdocs for a while now; many of them aren't aware of how prevalent this is, or that there actually are alternatives.

Feel free to PM me about that, if you'd like.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 25

RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex? - 4/8/2007 6:47:29 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

FukinTroll,

You're welcome. What, exactly, has been on your mind in what way, if you don't mind me asking?

To be absolutely honest with you I did not who her Master was and was concerned that her issue would cause a great deal of trouble for her. I had the hope that her Master was beyond a pure sexual dynamic, but the thought still lingered and that was vexing me. I know I can't help her in this situation, but didn't stop the worry.

Your post vaulted you way up on my respect-o-meter.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to Aswad)

Post #: 26

RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex? - 4/8/2007 6:55:14 PM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

Thanks for the advice, but my Dr. and I have gone over this stuff ad nauseum. With the other meds I'm on, well, I've just gotta deal with it for the time being. And, so does my Daddy...although, we're working through the sex stuff the D/s dynamic really hasn't faltered at all.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to Aswad)

Post #: 27

RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex? - 4/8/2007 7:38:43 PM

soultoshare

Posts: 519
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

Personally, i can either take or leave sex. I'd much rather focus on pleasuring my Master. I get my release from the other physical aspects of use. I don't masturbate on my own, quite frankly, it's boring to me. If my Master wants sex, then i'm there, but my sex drive is somewhat low. I don't feel that it's wrong, or that there's anything wrong with me. By your own Mater's responses, it doesn't seem to bother him, either. And kudos to him for helping you work through this. Chin up, hon, you're fine.....don't judge your own worth based upon someone else's perceived sex drive,you are so much more than that!

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 28

RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex? - 4/9/2007 4:29:21 AM

Aswad

Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

FukinTroll,

Thank you for your kind concern, and for your respect.

spanklette,

Yeah, the D/s bits tend not to be affected by the same things that hit the sex drive.

(in reply to FukinTroll)

Post #: 29

RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex? - 4/9/2007 5:03:17 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

I’ve used to have a very sexy looking lady who never had an orgasm, but was perfectly happy pleasing me. I had known another woman that I was able to bring to orgasms and get her happily on her sexual orgasmic way so I thought I could with this woman, too. It never worked, but she explained that she got such a pleasure doing things for me, especially sexual things, that she wouldn’t be turned on by having her own orgasm.

There are women, submissives especially, of that makeup. I find that they often love to give oral sex and could not care less about being screwed. I’ve seen it a couple times and a few submissives have commented on here about sucking off guys one after the other at an event and how it game them a deep sense of pleasure without actual orgasms. (Somebody on here had a great post about wearing a T-shirt with 10 check-offs on it at an event and giving BJ’s until they were all checked. Don't think I could forget that post…ha)

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to nephandi)

Post #: 30

RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex? - 4/9/2007 6:03:53 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

thetammyjo,

Nod. Quite agree on all points. Although I kind of like a bit of responsibility as well. Without challenges, struggles and conflicts, what fun would life be? lol

Ah, we get enough challenges from the mundane world and our pasts; I have enough relationship conflicts with the vanilla marriage.

Don't need or want it in my Ds relationships.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Aswad)

Post #: 31

RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex? - 4/9/2007 7:59:26 AM

Bone

Posts: 12
Joined: 4/8/2004
From: England, UK
Status: offline

I've been talking to an extremely attractive submissive - who I've met twice - on-and-off for maybe two years. She is very intelligent and has an extensive vocabulary, but sex never really entered the equation with me until I saw a picture of her bent over a spanking bench, with her rather gorgeous bottom on display. It was for a modelling contract she was doing. She is a model. Up until this point my interests had been 'vaguely' sexual, but I was more interested in the girl and her fantastic brain. Then I saw her ass.

As is my wont, I wasted little time in telling her that my thoughts toward her had become rather sexual in nature. There followed a long pause, after which she told me that she was in no way sexually inclined whatsoever. Were she to become mine, she would wish to be treated exacly like a cat, and as I would not fuck such a creature (it's true), she would rather I entertain no such thoughts about her.

I still talk to her regularly, but since that conversation I have NEVER thought of her in a sexual way. Our conversations of late have turned to a sharing arrangement, where any sexual needs arising on my part would be met by another..

_____________________________

Pain and fear are merely weaknesses fleeing the body; let me give unto you the strength to do what is in your heart.

(in reply to nephandi)

Post #: 32

RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex? - 4/9/2007 12:02:00 PM

masterdstar

Posts: 160
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

From the TPE perspective slaves’ sexuality is determined by the Owner. If your Dominant is Ok with the approach you describe then it’s fine and no worry, other wise it may be an important topic of “discussion” as it can lead to other problems long term.

Enjoy your wonder-filled day

(in reply to Bone)

Post #: 33

RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex? - 4/9/2007 1:32:27 PM

Aswad

Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Ah, we get enough challenges from the mundane world and our pasts; I have enough relationship conflicts with the vanilla marriage.

Don't need or want it in my Ds relationships.

I think you misunderstood me. There are good challenges, and bad challenges. And I wasn't saying I'd need or want the latter in any part of my life. :)

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 34

RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex? - 4/9/2007 1:36:11 PM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

Hi

Again thank you all, you are very kind to reply and i am reading all the replies and is learing alot. Thank you again, this is very helpful to me.

All my love Mater Aswad.

i wish you all well.

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad

(in reply to Aswad)

Post #: 35

RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex? - 4/9/2007 1:50:51 PM

StellaByStarlite

Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

I hope it isn't wrong exactly as my sex drive is about to take a huge nose dive now i'm back on the prozac. Haven't told Him yet, but pretty sure He'll understand.

Hey, Misst =)

Paxil does the same thing for me. Not only is my sex drive lower, it also takes me three times as long to orgasm. It doesn't seem to slow the Mister's drive down, however, as he still loves to do his regular Reach, Grab, Pull, and Poke ( RGPP) first thing every morning. lol

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 36

RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex? - 4/9/2007 2:09:35 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

SSRI-induced sexual dysfunction is a bitch. Have you tried any other meds? There are a lot of sex-neutral and even sex-positive alternatives out there for most conditions. I have been trying to drive this point home with medstudents, doctors and pdocs for a while now; many of them aren't aware of how prevalent this is, or that there actually are alternatives.

Feel free to PM me about that, if you'd like.

Aswad,
Thank you for the advice, over the years i've tried quite a few different types of medication and some have been better than others on the sex drive front. Unfortunately prozac is not one of the better one's but it is the best i have found to help with my periods of depression for many reasons. I will speak to my doctor again but i'm not sure a better solution will be found.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Aswad)

Post #: 37

RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex? - 4/9/2007 3:32:44 PM

alandraofMists

Posts: 187
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

I do not see having a low sex drive as being wrong for a slave or anyone else for that matter. It is just one aspect of who you are as a person. How you behave and handle that aspect of who you are is what is important. From reading your master's and your posts you are handling it right in my opinion.

I have an extremely low sex drive myself... I do not crave or need sex for weeks to months at a time... nor do I even think about it at all

my Lord knows this and it does not affect His decisions in how he uses me in a sexual way.

Submitting to me does not mean only doing the things that I want and what brings me pleasure... but doing things even if I have no wish to, to please my Lord and gaining pleasure in knowing that He is pleased.

Knight's alandra

(in reply to nephandi)

Post #: 38

RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex? - 4/10/2007 12:42:35 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Aswad,
Thank you for the advice, over the years i've tried quite a few different types of medication and some have been better than others on the sex drive front. Unfortunately prozac is not one of the better one's but it is the best i have found to help with my periods of depression for many reasons. I will speak to my doctor again but i'm not sure a better solution will be found.

i have heard that adding wellbutrin to the mix can counteract the sexual side effects of the SSRI's - it's worth a try - good luck.

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 39

RE: Is it wrong for a slave to have little intrest in sex? - 4/10/2007 6:11:03 AM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

There is no right or wrong! We are all what we are. There is no right way or wrong way.
We are all entitled to acceptance for who we are. It all boils down to consent between
two adults. Some of us compromise, some of us don't.

The sexual appetite is a lot like people's appetite for food. Some people get more
pleasure from eating than others.

_____________________________

(in reply to nephandi)

Post #: 40

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