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RE: Embarassment from people finding out? - 3/1/2007 5:34:14 PM

sugarcandy

Posts: 96
Status: offline

A bit off topic:

I was shopping at Home Depot the other day. My mother needed to purchase a home repair item as well. She accompanied me to the store.

I was admiring the wide variety of chain for sale.
A male employee offered his assistance. I made my selections out of the many lovely rolls of sturdy metal.

I may have looked too happy.

The man smiled with pleasure and he actually blushed as I excitedly chose a sleek icy blue cobalt length; a fine gold feminine piece; and a rugged barbed wire look edged silver shackle.

I spoke. I said " Wonder why I need the chain"?

He turned scarlet while grinning " Oh, people have many uses for chains"
He said with a pleasant wink and glow.

" Mom" burst out laughing and couldn't stop giggling, nearly doubling over in hysterics!

PS I wanted the chain variety for edgy lady's handbags I design.

PPS Lovely! Many, many uses

........ will return to said construction outlet.

(in reply to GeekyGirl)

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RE: Embarassment from people finding out? - 3/1/2007 8:51:21 PM

bgtreasure

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JLION

Has anyone ever experienced any kind of embarassment or awkward situations from someone finding out about their BDSM interest?

For me nothing serious has happened except for a time a few friends and I were going to go to a bar and I had to look something up, and I had some BSDM websites up.My friends all know I have kind of a kinky side anyway, and they didn't really think anything of it.

I have experienced awkward situations. An old employer found out once (worked in the mental health industry) and he swore that something was terribly wrong with me. Eventually I left because he wouldnt leave it alone.
I am cofounder of an organization and tend to wear our tshirts and we always have things like mousepads one day my cousins looked up the website on the mouse pad and proceeded to tell the whole family.
It's not embarrassing its just they tend to make inappropriate jokes, like when is the next sex party etc. which well my group isnt a sex party LOL.
I feel like what I do on my own private time is private and if I want to tell you about it I will. I wouldnt want anyone in a position to fire me to find out but hell I've been out with some of them and wonder are they kinky too!
My children (haven't made a lock or hiding place they couldnt get into) have found my toys but they don't say anything about it they are teenagers and when I go out they just ask ohh are you going to one of your group things... They just think I'm a wierdo mom anyway and only cool 1/4 of the time.

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RE: Embarassment from people finding out? - 3/1/2007 9:31:23 PM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
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Oh Hell... I just roll with it when I'm exposed. Sometimes I expose myself with things I say and do. A lot of my vanilla friends just think I enjoy good kinky sex. It's not like I'm stalking the neighborhoods or anything.

If anything everything is kind of masked and blurred for people which know me, because I play guitar out in bands.   They just see me as another crazy musician type! So I can get away from some crazy suggestive attire at times, and say and do crazy things...

My closer friends know about me and BDSM... then again, these are people I let into my house and trust.

It all depends upon your vanilla social status and position in life I guess. I don't see me loosing any work over this, and if I do, I'd just find work some place else...   I think there are a lot of BDSM curious people out there, just like there are a lot of people out there which smoke pot! You know who you are and you know what I'm talking about!!!

I think my Mom knows... Just have not come outright and told her! MOM.. I'm into BDSM... she'd probally go... I know anyways... then again when I was younger I was always into doing some crazy ass shit. People I tell are not too suprised to find out. I just tend to limit how much information I share with them.

< Message edited by WhiplashSmile -- 3/1/2007 10:15:16 PM >

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RE: Embarassment from people finding out? - 3/1/2007 9:57:41 PM

boltaction

Posts: 53
Joined: 12/1/2005
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I am not so worried about the embarrassment as much as I would be worried about being judged, and remembered in a negative light. But then again, being a young male dom is pretty acceptable in our society overall.

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RE: Embarassment from people finding out? - 3/1/2007 10:58:15 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
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quote:

Has anyone ever experienced any kind of embarassment or awkward situations from someone finding out about their BDSM interest?

Well, I've had to answer about a million questions from family - most of them out of either concern for my welfare or their own curiousity about the lifestyle - and a few of those have been a little too personal, which made it awkward. However, I've never been embarrassed to live as I choose to live. My family has always known I hear a different drummer, so this lifestyle wasn't a big surprise to them; and there's really nothing for anyone else to "find out" about how I choose to live my life.

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RE: Embarassment from people finding out? - 3/1/2007 10:58:49 PM

catchmecd

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/13/2004
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There are two reasons I don't want people to find out about my cross-dressing.

1) People I am competitive with will see it as a sign of weakness.
2) People I am responsible for with see it as a sign that I'm not capable.

It's only been recently that I've started eliminating a third reason, that I am afraid of admitting to to myself.

I know people will say I shouldn't be so competitive, but that's the way I am and I like being that way. I think wanting to cross-dress and be enslaved is kind of a reaction to that.

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RE: Embarassment from people finding out? - 3/1/2007 11:04:18 PM

duckykarma

Posts: 95
Joined: 2/7/2007
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lol it was funny when my mom found out after she saw a few bruises on me.....and i told her i was submissive and she was like oh so you like getting the shit beat out of you, and i told her no i just like to be spanked and tied up during sex.....it hasnt come up since...so no im not imbarressed at all about it...there are a few ppl who i dont want knowing but its not a problem since they have no idea where im at..its all good..

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RE: Embarassment from people finding out? - 3/1/2007 11:37:27 PM

kate

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for me, any friend i have who i would talk about sex with *that's a lot becasue i hang out at a womens center on campus* i would be open with about BDSM, but there are some people that i jsut don't want to know...like my folks and the older people in my family...it is not the BDSM i don't want them to know about....i don't want them to know i have sex at all....my friends ask questions and i answer them....i have found that most of the people that i hang out with have at least a touch of kink in them

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RE: Embarassment from people finding out? - 3/2/2007 4:56:41 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

I'm not embarrassed at all. A coworker found a personal ad of mine that talked about my kink and included provocative pics of me.

All 150 of my coworkers saw that ad before it was over and I just laughed and smiled and said, "Yeah, ya'll knew I was a freak, don't act like you didn't know!"

And now they all come to me for sex advice, even the old church ladies, which I find amusing as hell! This one woman I work with, about 50yrs old and a very devout christian comes to me in private one day...leans in close, and asks very quietly..."have you ever let a man...ya know..put it in your booty?" I couldn't even answer her...I was too busy laughing at the look on her face like she asked some huge horrible secret!

It was great :)

I agree this is the reactions I also get from people. Even the most frigid people I know don't treat me differently than they did before I was into BDSM.
I taught religious education to 5-6grade kids about 10 years. Even a nun I became good friends with knows and has not changed her attitude as my friend towards me.
I think those that are in the closet in fear 80% of the time are just selling those around them short.
I think many more people are accepting of other alternate lifestyle as long as no one's force feeding it onto them.
I think 1/2 of those (at least if not more) that think the knowledge could compromise their careers are just talking out their butts out of fear of discovery more than actual issues it would realistically cause in their job.

Over all I just have to accept my view as a wide open person, and the view of someone who keeps their thoughts more private and introverted may be completely different, but we all have the right to disclose who we are or not.
Suzanne

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RE: Embarassment from people finding out? - 3/2/2007 5:39:10 AM

StellaByStarlite

Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
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quote:

Most of the hetero females I hang out with at work like to talk about it too..though they all say I'm "crazy" and will "do anything." By their definition if you like anal or swallow after a blow job, you're a real kinky chick! You should have seen the look on their face when I told them about puppy play...Priceless!

Haha! I give you serious props for even going that far. My friends are the same way. Their way of being kinky is going into Spencer's Gifts and ogling those plastic heart-shaped handcuffs. =)

Cheers,
Stella

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RE: Embarassment from people finding out? - 3/2/2007 5:51:33 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
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I recently had someone I know professionally describe a woman he had met at a party and I recognised her as a local Domme .... there wasn't too much embarassment though, more like a sudden 'wow so you are kinky too' moment and we both had a laugh

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