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RE: I dont get this - 12/21/2006 9:40:22 AM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
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I don't wonder what they were thinking. I can't be bothered to waste any time or brain power wondering about illiterate idiots who obviously can't read or pay attention to profiles lol.

(in reply to Serenityy)

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RE: I dont get this - 12/21/2006 9:43:50 AM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
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quote:

DV: Its more a question of how people can think they ahve found mr/mrs right when they know nothing of the other person.

They don't. It is a line, and when you realize that he's probably emailed something similar to a dozen (or a hundred) other online profiles, not a very flattering one at that.

Its so much easier to fixate on a fantasy (Yah, that's the way to get laid! I am a submissive!), or a made-up world (I'll trade you two Marketplace books for "Wankers of Gor") or a set of photographs than it is to go out, brave the world, get stung a few times, and actually meet someone.

I am amused at the calls on here to "be gentle". Why? I think the rules of politeness and politics that apply in the real world should apply in email correspondence, too. DV, if a man came up to you while you were working and said "you are lovely and sexy and I know you are everything that I want" you'd peg him for a weirdo, at least. If he did it again, or perhaps showed up at your home, you'd peg the guy as a possible stalker, and deal appropriately (and you'd be right). If this guy was so rude as to say "I am so much better for you than your Angel" you'd be angry, I'd think. Why any different on here?

E

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"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

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RE: I dont get this - 12/21/2006 9:47:44 AM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
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quote:

I want to figure out what people are thinking.

It will all become clear if you factor in that they are thinking with their dicks.

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RE: I dont get this - 12/21/2006 9:49:59 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

quote:

I want to figure out what people are thinking.

It will all become clear if you factor in that they are thinking with their dicks.

Please... tell me that Katy doesn't do that or it will destroy my image of her.

John

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RE: I dont get this - 12/21/2006 10:30:39 AM

Devilslilsister

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Joined: 8/3/2006
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funny enough i get alot of sub males emailing ME to be their Mistress and heck i can barely be a good sub much less a good Mistress LOL

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RE: I dont get this - 12/21/2006 11:34:56 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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yeah, it disturbs me too. I get a lot of email that says I am just what they are looking for. Sheesh. LOL.. Clearly they have not read what I write.
Heck, I don't even have a checklist of kink on my profile.
I think that the mere fact any profile says sub, domme, master, female, ect, is more than enough compatibility for some of these folks. It is probably because they want to experience something (even online!) so badly, that anything or anyone will do. And if they send out that "you are perfect for me" email to enough people eventually they will find a mark.
I don't see anyone as the one for me until I have been seeing them a while. But I am not a fan of instant coffee either. Give me the brewed to perfection anyday.
Kyst

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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
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RE: I dont get this - 12/21/2006 2:08:48 PM

DiurnalVampire

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Thank you to everyone what has written. I suppose that thinking about these things too long leads to my putting to much of how I would see things into what they are writing. I know if I were contemplating putting myself into someone elses hands, Id be scared to death to do it without getting to know them really well first. I have no problem with people enjoying my pictures if they are so inclined, I have been complemented on them several times. However, knowing how I look in a red teddy and that I happen to share a few kinks on a checklist is hardly enough to build the trust youd need to allow me to tie you up. I didnt actually consider that the vast majority of these emails are probably from people who have no intention of ever actually attempting to be anything offline.
Do you men get the same responses from femsubs? Or is this strictly a male-sub phenomenon? I must say, I have never gotten anything like this from a femsub, but I dont get a lot of femsub interest.

DV

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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

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VampiresLair

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RE: I dont get this - 12/21/2006 3:28:41 PM

LadyIce

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It also might have something to do with those pictures you have
exposing your breasts and behind.
I get those type of messages with NO pictures up and not much of
a profile.
With the pictures you have up, I am sure your mailbox stays full.
Just a thought.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

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RE: I dont get this - 12/21/2006 4:14:44 PM

liks2plzlf

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Be careful LadyIce. I suggested the same thing and got lambasted for it

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RE: I dont get this - 12/21/2006 6:11:53 PM

DiurnalVampire

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OK, I'll reiterate. I like having my pictures up. They have very little to do with the emails telling me that I am someones perfect mistress from the getgo. I get a lot of email complimenting the pictures, from Dom and sub alike, who dont see it necessary to pledge themseves into my undying service becasue I am their perfect match.
Honestly, if all it takes to be the end all be all of someones existance is to look good in lengerie, its a wonder every female on this site isnt already managing a harem of boys.
I am not looking for a way to stop the emails. I dont expect them to, even if I had no pictures up, or I took Tress' suggestion of a burlap sack...
I am more curious about how it is someone expects to be taken seriously in a lifestyle built on trust when they can supposedly commit themsleves to someone in an opening email. Im sorry if anyone misunderstood this as my wanting them to stop, I dont care either way. I just refer them to reading the beginnign of my profile when they ask me exactly what I want in a sub.
I suppose a bigger part of my question stems from the number of profiles I have read where people complain about not being able to be taken seriously. They say they have problems with Mistresses not replying or not taking their offers to heart. Comments like this, knowing your perfect match when you havent given them the time to even introduce themselves, could be part of that problem.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to liks2plzlf)

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RE: I dont get this - 12/21/2006 7:16:17 PM

Petruchio

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It's all perception. People set the few bits you share and fill in the gaps.

They often don't realize the gaps don't match reality.

(I'm blest that those who worship me are seldom disappointed. (bestowing modest smile))

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RE: I dont get this - 12/21/2006 7:18:52 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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Sometimes I too wonder about the "why". Why does someone do or say what they do?...........sometimes my answers or thought processs is way to deep.....sometimes it is just plain simple stupidity or ignorance.....Sometimes we credit some people with way too much forethought in their actions.....and sometimes we just have to let go of the "why"........

...Tempting

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RE: I dont get this - 12/21/2006 9:11:05 PM

DiamondOrchid

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Joined: 11/27/2006
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In my opinion, such people are not looking for an actual relationship. They want a quick kinky lay. At best, their messages are amusing. At worst... they remind me why birthcontrol is very important for some people.

Just out of curiosity, how many do you get in a day/week? I'm averaging about 4/week (I don't have a pic and my profile is minimal).

D.

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RE: I dont get this - 12/21/2006 11:12:03 PM

cacodylic

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Joined: 3/6/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: catfood

but then the burlap fetishists will be a flockin'

mmmmm, burrrlappppp....

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RE: I dont get this - 12/22/2006 12:48:43 AM

MistressYlwa

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I think Diamond has said it best. If they think that I am their ideal and would be a perfect owner, then they aren't looking for the real thing. This one generally wants an online play date, though they are usually playing with themselves.

I don't waste my time with these, or the one liners.

Mistress Ylwa

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You see what power is - holding someone elses fear in your hand and showing it to them! - Amy Tan

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RE: I dont get this - 12/22/2006 1:42:45 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
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quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

I want to figure out what people are thinking.

But that would assume people are always thinking....
i still can't figure out what "fucks old bitches" was hoping to accomplish *laughs*

Likely he's practiced the 5 knuckle shuffle so many times he think's he's ready to practice with a real girl now. Either that or his blow up girl farted and flew out the window to get away and he thinks every woman with a low self esteem is that desperate.

*laughs* which also proves he didn't read my profile because there's no low self-esteem here.

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RE: I dont get this - 12/26/2006 9:42:56 AM

classykindasassy

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Joined: 12/13/2005
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To the OP:

People are always falling in love with the story they tell themselves about how someone is.

Someone who does not realize this about themselves can't be a responsible party in starting a relationship. That is what really gets me about people who are strictly online in their activities - how can someone call a relationship real unless they are there in REAL TIME? Otherwise, you are never with a REAL person.

I have gotten so squicked by doms on here that professed to know all about me and what I need/want, and even how I am as a person, never having even chatted with me! It's creepy because it's clear they are not at all related to ME, but to a picture, and an idea or fantasy they have.

So - as your instinct tells you, I'd steer clear of nut cases who claim all this stuff without ever having interacted with you.

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RE: I dont get this - 12/26/2006 10:30:48 AM

SwPuno

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Many of you have the fortune and perspective of being or having been in long lasting relationships and having an understanding of a true D/s relationship or a regular relationship with some D/s in it. I would imagine many of the authors of the e-mails have not yet had such luck. Some are just hoping for a play partner to have SOME live exposure to D/s, SM, etc. with another person. So when they see on your checklist that you happen to like, for example, 4 of the 5 things they really like, they think that you might be a great match, at least within the context of a play partner relationship (which may not even include sex). The idea of you having an ongoing, true romantic/sexual relationship may even be beyond their wildest dreams at this point. I can appreciate your not enjoying or respecting their desperation at this point but I think many of them mean well and are just in a place right now that forces that desperation, a separation from being able to be the dominant or submissive that they want to be that even masturbation can not solve. Hopefully many will find short term, play relationships through pros or vanilla girlfriends willing to experiment to relieve some of the desire and later move into longer, deeper relationships. Then they too may someday look back at some of the newbie/desperate e-mails and shake their heads in wonder.

As for why someone would approach someone who says not looking, I can't answer for that. I would not contact such a person except perhaps to send a "I really enjoyed or appreciated your comments in thread xxxx" as a way of complimenting or conversing with them and perhaps as a way to strike up a conversation or friendship (not as a way to damage or break up already existing relationships). Some people really are that stupid or convinced of their own magnificence.

As for the more well meaning ones, please keep in mind that it can be very difficult to be a lone male full of desires and hopes yet new to the scene. I agree they could and probably should use a better approach but hopefully time and threads like this will help them to get there.

Puno the bleeding heart (at least today, apparently)

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RE: I dont get this - 12/26/2006 11:27:38 AM

beltainefaerie

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I think that some people have a twisted fantasy version of how they are supposed to act, with no real time exposure. I actually do respond to all emails, because it is theoretically possible that they could learn something. Sure, they might get angry (and I could block them) or they might be wankers who will move on the next 'Mistress of their dreams" hoping to get a little action. However, they might just be confused and desperate. I got an email from someone the other day who wondered if I would have any use for an obedient male slave naked on a leash. It was poorly punctuated and spelled, addressed me as Mistress and failed to take into account that according to my profile, I am not looking. I am a switch, but primarily a sub, Mistress to one and only seeking friends. I wrote back and pointed out that it was not polite to address me as Mistress when we have never met, that I am only interested in playing with people once I have gotten to know them as a person. I suggested that proper attention be paid to people's profiles and that good spelling was far more likely to attract someone. I said a few more things, but that was basically the gist. I got an immediae response back, with an apology and a little explanation that this person was only recently released from his collar to a couple and was really missing BDSM. Hopefully with the suggestions I included in both responses, he will be more likely to find what he is looking for.

It is confusing to get emails from people who think they are your perfect, whatever or that you will be perfect for them. It is more strange to me when it is someone seeking something you clearly aren't.

I certainly understand that most people, who are seeking, get more responses and wouldn't have the time/energy/inclination to respond to all, but with the few I get, I think it is worth it.

(in reply to SwPuno)

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RE: I dont get this - 12/26/2006 11:55:15 AM

MysticFireTopaz

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I frequently get e-mails like that. If the person interests Me, I may right back to them and tell them I am glad that My profile and lists of interests struck a chord with them and emphasize that it is a starting point only. I tell them that people have to get to know one another to determine if they are right for each other and that takes time. This cannot be determined solely by a profile and list of interests. The fantasy-seekers never write back, but those serious about a possible relationship do.

I got one that cracked Me up recently. He said he was drawn in by My "lovely photo" and "intriguing profile." I asked him if he was sure he had the right person, since I don't even have a photo posted! I also am amused by the ones telling Me what a beautiful Woman I am in their introdoctory letter. How would they know this if I don't have a photo posted and they have never met Me? I suspect they use the same tired line with everyone they write to.

Lady Topaz

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