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RE: Is being Dominated from a person in jail part of th... - 12/21/2006 7:25:28 AM   
thetammyjo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Personally, I don't equate manipulation and exploitation as inherent characteristics of power exchange relationships. However, if you do, then you might see these examples of jailhouse stupidity as "lifestyle" in orientation. I don't.

John


I very strongly agree that manipulation and exploitation are not part of concensual relationships -- these are very common in far too many relationships in my opinion but that does not equal consensual authority or power exchange.

However my one exception would be a case where the relationship existed before the jail time with consideration for why that person is in jail. A person who goes to jail because they are protesting a company or political offical has my respect compared to a robber or a murder or a rapist or an embezzler or a drug dealer.

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(in reply to Rover)
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RE: Is being Dominated from a person in jail part of th... - 12/21/2006 7:29:35 AM   
PrimitiveLogic


Posts: 145
Joined: 4/25/2006
From: Md.
Status: offline 		There seem to be 'criminal' expectations of some ladies and /or men from non incarcerated men and women...re: tribute/control/family isolation/et al. So is it the fact that they are prisoners and have a different context; or is it truly the behavior that is being looked upon as innappropriate?

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: Is being Dominated from a person in jail part of th... - 12/21/2006 7:52:18 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		No, that's just manipulation.
Why on earth would a woman want to do something like that anyway?

(in reply to PrimitiveLogic)
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RE: Is being Dominated from a person in jail part of th... - 12/21/2006 8:12:35 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		For once I am speechless........

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RE: Is being Dominated from a person in jail part of th... - 12/21/2006 9:50:19 AM   
theRose4U


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

I would say this is part of the same idea that leads these same women to marry those in prison. Murders and worse woo those on their juries who out of guilt become attracted.


Kind of off topic but still funny (sad).. I did a search on yahoo groups and found out there was one that was called "serial killer groupies"..

How weird do you have to be to join a group like that?

Exactly where my mind was going but I couldn't recall the phrase. Bobbit was involved with one of his lawyers, the guys in california that axed their parents for money I think BOTH married jurors, the guy out in cali that killed his wife and baby boy recently married one of the jurors.
Part I can't wrap my mind around is that in the case of jurors these are the same people that PUT THEM IN JAIL! It seems that they would have the first hand access to information of how nasty these guys really are? I can't wrap my mind around how they can see first hand the evidence, say that the person is guilty and in some cases determine the length of the person's sentence and then go umm yummy he makes me so hot I want to ruin the rest of my life for him.

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RE: Is being Dominated from a person in jail part of th... - 12/21/2006 9:51:08 AM   
KatyLied


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quote:

the guy out in cali that killed his wife and baby boy recently married one of the jurors.


Scott Peterson?  How did I miss this?


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RE: Is being Dominated from a person in jail part of th... - 12/21/2006 9:53:54 AM   
theRose4U


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quote:

As its been said, common sense really isn't so common.


My spin on this Common sense isn't so common and doesn't always make sense.

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RE: Is being Dominated from a person in jail part of th... - 12/21/2006 9:56:14 AM   
theRose4U


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quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

No, that's just manipulation.
Why on earth would a woman want to do something like that anyway?


LOL as if families and friends across the globe haven't said the same thing about wiitwd.

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RE: Is being Dominated from a person in jail part of th... - 12/21/2006 10:01:12 AM   
theRose4U


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

the guy out in cali that killed his wife and baby boy recently married one of the jurors.


Scott Peterson?  How did I miss this?


If I'm recalling correctly media coverage was surrounding the fact that he dumped the girlfriend that was claiming to be his alibi and she was doing the media boo hoo circuit. She was all upset he was engaged to/ marrying one of the jurors.

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Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

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RE: Is being Dominated from a person in jail part of th... - 12/21/2006 10:04:15 AM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		Not quite speechless (heh!)

I think its a multitude of things.  Low self esteem, insecurities, obession, manipulation... erm and that sounds good.  Sounds like the whole battered woman thing.  I've noticed that ALOT of women that end up in abusive relationships are iinherently submissive.  Submissive women who look for dominance in all the wrong places.  Submissive women who do not realise that they can have domination and control with out all the yucky stuff.  That or, they look for dominance and run into the crap as well.  Did does not always have to do with low self esteem.  Just misguidance with some i think. 

Notice i did not say all.  There are alot of reasons people end up in bad relationships.  Some people actually have a subconscious desire to be abused.  Some sort of self punishment.  Some were raised in abusive households and its all they know.  Like i said there is many reasons.  Some like me, just end up there going wtf.  I was most definetly attracted to the control, dominance of the man - yet the fact that i ended up in a relationship where a man actually hit me, boggles my brain.  I grew up thinking women in abusive relationships were dumb and it honestly boggled my brain on how they got there and why they stayed.  I also had in my brain "if a man ever hits me and i cant beat him up, i'll get my 4 brothers and father to kick his ass"  Yet there i was.... 

Comes down to alot of mind fucks, alot of manipulations and alot of destroying a person from the inside out.  I might of had my had a few issues (depression) but i was pretty much on top of my game when i met him.  After a year in that relationship - i was completely changed for ever.... STILL thinking "how the hell did this shit happen??"  Good learning experience though and it gave me TONS of more stuff to set my brain about to "fix".  I like to fix things....... so LOL 

I think D/s, M/s, BDSM, TPE, AE, PE and all that DOES have abit of manipulation to it.  Yet its in a more postive manner.  I think people generally manipulate all the time - yet the intent is for the good and not for the bad.

It also boggles my brain why these women arent lying to these men.  Hell - they're not around and well it wouldnt be hard to do as you please!  But then i am almost 10 years past my abusive relationship and i've been losing all the knowledge i've gained from it. 

I think there is alot more going on in an abusive relationship that anyone who hasnt been in one can fathom and i dont think anyone should judge some one IN an abusive relationship as there are about a MILLION reasons they are in one.  Too many different possiblities for any of you to sit back and judge from a far.




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RE: Is being Dominated from a person in jail part of th... - 12/21/2006 10:04:47 AM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
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quote:

Akasha:  I don't get it, nor will I ever.  She lets them take advantage of her, cheat on her, and use her for money.  I think for her, it has a lot to do with the fact that it's a lot easier to have a "relationship" with someone she doesn't have to actually be with.  Every time she has one with a person out of prison, it doesn't work.  This gives her a way to tell others she "has" someone, and not look like she can't get anyone.


You get it just fine.  How much easier life is to be a martyr who's "man" is (unjustly, no doubt) incarcerated.  You don't have to smell him, be around when he's two-timing you, be his punching bag.  All you have to do is sigh heavily and tell anyone who is sorry enough to be in earshot about how they done your man wrong.  When you have a man in prison (or a fantasy Dom or sub), you can be a blues song, without any of the effort of even learning to sing.

E.

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(in reply to SlaveAkasha)
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RE: Is being Dominated from a person in jail part of th... - 12/21/2006 11:06:07 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I just started hearing old country music in my head.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Emperor1956)
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RE: Is being Dominated from a person in jail part of th... - 12/21/2006 11:22:26 AM   
xonemasterx


Posts: 59
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Boston, Massachusetts, USA
Status: offline 		Thats an awful big red flag to ignore.   Sometimes the emotional overwhelms the rational.

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: Is being Dominated from a person in jail part of th... - 12/21/2006 11:44:41 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		Whilst i agree that the scenario you give is not good in any way i'd just like to add that i have 3 prison pen pals. One is serving life for murder, one is in prison for violation of parole and the other robbery. They are all really nice guys who come across very sorry for what they have done. None of them has ever attempted to control me or abuse me in any way. All they have asked for is my friendship. Good and bad wherever you go.

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RE: Is being Dominated from a person in jail part of th... - 12/21/2006 11:52:39 AM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline 		I read a book a while back written by a man on death row, Jarvis Jay Masters.  It's a journal of his discovery of Buddhism after conviction.    He sounds like an awesome human being ... but I would have a very different opinion of him if he asked me to smuggle dope into prison!

MaryT

(in reply to missturbation)
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RE: Is being Dominated from a person in jail part of th... - 12/21/2006 11:57:20 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		I totally agree - if any of my pen pals had asked me to send money, drugs etc i wud have a very different opinion of them.
I just wanted to put a different side to men in prison than the one that has been portrayed here.

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What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: Is being Dominated from a person in jail part of th... - 12/21/2006 12:18:59 PM   
theRose4U


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Joined: 8/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

I totally agree - if any of my pen pals had asked me to send money, drugs etc i wud have a very different opinion of them.
I just wanted to put a different side to men in prison than the one that has been portrayed here.


What do you think a potential master would think about this? You list as a slave, do you think that this need to please is what lead you to these pen pals?

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to missturbation)
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RE: Is being Dominated from a person in jail part of th... - 12/21/2006 1:07:50 PM   
Sirandlittle1


Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		Years ago, as part of my training, i had to attend a prison, and interview a inmate. I had to walk along a coridoor past men in cells.
A twenty pace walk, amoungst 'desperate men' got me hot, i dont mind admitting. So i can see what the attraction might be to writing to such people for some females.
Personally, although i realise occasionally, the law makes error;s and some are nice folk, i dont however wish to start any relationship where the scales are tipped into the negative from the off.

My last partners cousin, was such a female. She wrote to a rapist for years. There was a strong power exchange going on for them, so it was worthwhile to her. Until she commited suicide on the day of his execution.
Not nice.
little1

(in reply to theRose4U)
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RE: Is being Dominated from a person in jail part of th... - 12/21/2006 1:40:43 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
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From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

I totally agree - if any of my pen pals had asked me to send money, drugs etc i wud have a very different opinion of them.
I just wanted to put a different side to men in prison than the one that has been portrayed here.


What do you think a potential master would think about this? You list as a slave, do you think that this need to please is what lead you to these pen pals?


That i have pen pals in America in prison per chance?
No i don't think my being a slave has anything to do with it? Why would it?
If i was writing to just anyone would you still ask that question or is it because my pen pals are in prison?

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: Is being Dominated from a person in jail part of th... - 12/21/2006 5:15:46 PM   
Chaosgrrl


Posts: 31
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		Hybristophiliacs are women who are turned on by "bad boys."  Men in prison, men who have committed some atrocious wrong against society...rape, murder, assault, etc.  From my understanding, alot of times the draw seems to be one of misguided survival instincts.  Some of these women lead meek and innefectual (sp?) lives and their attraction stems a lot from the desire for some sense of standing and control.  They can't get it themselves, but someone who isn't afraid to maim or murder demands the kind of respect they would like for themselves.  I don't think this is the case for every person attracted to violent criminals, but I can understand it for some.  It's exciting.  They may feel protected.  No one would dare do anything to harm them because they are with AxeMurderingRapistPsycho who will defend the honor of what is his, even if he is also one who is misusing/abusing her too.  Some call this the Bonnie and Clyde syndrome.  Some of these women end up getting themselves into trouble in their bid to either survive or make their partner happy. 

I'm guilty of the Bad Boy fantasies as well, but I wouldn't choose one that is in prison.  I'd most definitely go with the one who hadn't been caught.  ;) 

http://www.francesfarmersrevenge.com/stuff/serialkillers/hybristophilia.htm

http://www.rotten.com/library/sex/hybristophilia/


(in reply to missturbation)
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