RE: Do You take the "Easiest" role?

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RE: Do You take the "Easiest" role? - 10/28/2006 9:48:01 PM

MistressSassy66

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Joined: 11/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mavis

This comes from the thread asking is it easier to take control, or to submit, and many have stated that it's most likely that W/we each have one role that is eaiest for us to get comfy in.

But, like many submissives, i am dominant in many ways. Giveing up control is not natural or easy for me. i choose the slave role because the contrast with my nature is exactly what makes it feel right for me within certain relationships.

i've also noticed (much to my surprise at first!) that many Dominants (not a majority, but enough to notice the phenomenon) are veritibale weenies when out on public. They don't dance for fear of looking silly, They aren't the first to welcome a newcomer to the room, They are generally passive socially except in the relationships where They have been "authorised" power.

Do Y/you, in power exchange relationships, take the role that is easiest for Y/you, comes most naturally? Or is this the arena where personality and temperament flip is the golden ring?

The "role" I find easiest is the one of being in control at all times.
My personality is a Domineering one.I will visit friends and take charge of the the room.Whether it be in talking or taking charge of unruly lil ones.
Coming on strong is something I try to not do so much but I am what I am.
I would definitely admit I am a person that has the 'you either love Me or hate Me' personality and could care less which one you pick.
bishop is naturally a strong person and a Dominant with other people...but submissive to Me.I know it can be a struggle for her at times,to be submissive.
Which is why we have been re-evaluating her "role".
For some its plain as day what "role" they fill for others it takes time and trying things out.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

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Post #: 41

RE: Do You take the "Easiest" role? - 10/28/2006 11:52:59 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
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Well its confusing for me. Sometimes i find it very difficult to be submissive. I want it my way, i want it done to my standards, in my time frame and i get this notion that its the BEST way. Its like i have certian things set up in my head - how things should go, where they should go, what should happen, what shouldnt happen, ect ect ect. Alittle deviation isnt a problem, but if we stay on track - generally speaking in my brain, we're doing well.

When things go waaaaay off to one side or another, giving up the control to sit back and just see where we go, where he takes us. Yeaaaaaaaaaah - not my strong point! I also tend to just have this about me when things pop up i just aggressively take the dominant role and start hollaring out orders (not literally) of what needs to be done. I'm very good at taking control. (heh and good at taking it from ppl)

BUT - sometimes i notice it where i just naturally follow his flow. Just holding his hand i know where he wants me to walk, when to stop when to basically do anything. Just by small little changes in how he holds my hand. And it floooooows. i know there are a million other times where it flows..... but ever since i found out i was pregnant i sorta just jumped into take control. So i've been in control mode for a week. Which is like another side of my brain - so to tap into the side of my brain that is submissive isnt the easiest at the moment. Luckily, he is gently reminding me to calm down and relax = )

i've always wondered if i was dom/sub/switch - because of how easy it is for me to take control. I've spotted ppl at my school who are "aware" and after talking to them they always tell me "i thought you were a Domme" They cant picture me as a sub. I've realized that being dominant isnt a born trait in me, but a learned one. I had to learn to control my enviroment to keep myself safe. Now its just a reflex. Something pops up and i jump into handle it.

So while being submissive is a more fullfilling role that i feel like i'm floating away in a cloud on, i dont think its the easiest for me. I think being dominant is easier for me. I spent 24 years in that role. What also helped me figure things out was realizing what left me with what feeling at the end of the night. Being in control, controlling others - always leaves me feeling cold and calculating. Remote. Not how i want to spend the rest of my life = )

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Post #: 42

RE: Do You take the "Easiest" role? - 10/29/2006 1:34:49 AM

Mavis

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Joined: 2/8/2004
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hey, riot! is that a thing i missed, this whole "with child" thing? wow. Congrats!

i am sooo laughing. forget being in control girl. For the rest of your life, that littler being is in charge. This is going to drive you knutz. and you'll love it. (mostly)

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Post #: 43