RE: Subs/Sams

RE: Subs/Sams (Full Version)

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Tikkiee -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 10:51:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I see a lot of subs saying that they are fiesty and a handful. Then they say that they are not into floggings or spankings. The question is How do you disipline them. Hmm, well I am a fiesty, handful, rude, insulting, sometimes humorous masochist. [:)] But then, I don't lay claim to submission either [8D]

LadyHugs -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 11:50:03 PM)
Dear Dnomyar, Ladies and Gentlemen; I see those who claim to be a hand full and fiesty, putting up a sign to my mind's eye; of someone who throws down the gauntlet/glove as a challenge. I view such individuals as manipulators period. Manipulators are all about controling another--usually the Dominant. It is a difference, in being spirited and energetic. The intent is totally different. For those who identify themselves as SAMS or fiesty/hand full; I don't let them continue on in my personal circle. If I deal with them I don't give them the attention and ignore them. Personally, I don't find their behavior attractive. If there is a brief 'exhibiting' of SAM like behavior or manipulation; they will taste a wide variety of selected punishments from passive; which is non-touch, squat unsupported facing a corner, on rice and or fish tank gravel with bare feet. Any display of rebellion will start the time in the corner all over again. They will know the consequences long before such punishments are given and what I won't tolerate. The next to the most severe punishment is listening to a endless tape of Barney's Friend's song or TelleTubbies baby giggles and cooing, from a set of ear phones and the walkman. Most severe is total dismissal, removal of the collar and their belongings on the curb. I do like having fun and humor about but, I won't have SAMS or manipulating slaves/submissives. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs

diamonddreamlove -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/30/2006 12:20:56 AM)
Please God just don't let Him ignore me!

lilsky -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/30/2006 12:28:06 AM)
The most affective punishment for me is just for my Dominant to show his displeasure and give me time to think about it by myself There are many equally effective ways to disipline a sub, it just depends on the sub themselves. Spanking/flogging/croping/paddling/ect would not work for me personally because i enjoy it and it would i'm sure just make me act up even more the next time i get a craving for it. The point is that to know the best most effective punishment for a sub you need to figure out the sub's inner workings. Sometimes it's not even just a mater of doing something they don't like. Sometimes that can just cause resentment and anger, because although it may be a great punishment it may not be the one that makes them think more about what they're being punished for and why they shouldn't do it. That being said, a Dominant friend of mine used to like giving out essay assignments as punishment, untill i screwed up and let him know how much i like to write. [sm=ofcourse.gif] Again this wasn't the best punishment for me, although it did make me think, i also enjoyed doing the assignments. There are others i'm sure that this would be a great punishment for... It all just depends on the individual and what works best to make them learn, which is a big part of a punishment in my eyes. It's not just a means to let somebody know they screwed up, or make them scared of screwing up again, but a way to let them think about it and understand it and why they don't want to do it again past that they don't want to deal with the punishment again. As an after thought, i really hope Sir doesn't read this! [sm=biggrin.gif]

ClassAct2006 -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/30/2006 3:46:56 AM)
Most points have been said. I've never thought real punishment of children, adults, a partner, a worker is every particularly effective. Carrots work better than sticks. Failure might just mean you hadn't communicated well enough to her what's needed particularly if she wants to please. I don't ever want not to comply which could make me very dull for some people but the main thing is to pick what you prefer - difficult submissive or compliant one. I'm not masochistic but even so I don't like to muddle punishment and play. If someone dominating me wants to spank me for his pleasure that's his right and it's an erotic/power thing and sometimes for him a sadistic pleasure thing too. I don't think it helps (although I'm not saying I'd never accept it) to muddle her by also beating her for getting something wrong.

RedSavageSlave -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/30/2006 5:34:06 AM)
And lets not forget those of us who do not "enjoy" pain but endure it willingly for our owners just because we know it makes HIM happy.

SirLordTrainer -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/30/2006 5:37:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHugs Dear Dnomyar, Ladies and Gentlemen; I see those who claim to be a hand full and fiesty, putting up a sign to my mind's eye; of someone who throws down the gauntlet/glove as a challenge. I view such individuals as manipulators period. Manipulators are all about controling another--usually the Dominant. It is a difference, in being spirited and energetic. The intent is totally different. For those who identify themselves as SAMS or fiesty/hand full; I don't let them continue on in my personal circle. If I deal with them I don't give them the attention and ignore them. Personally, I don't find their behavior attractive. If there is a brief 'exhibiting' of SAM like behavior or manipulation; they will taste a wide variety of selected punishments from passive; which is non-touch, squat unsupported facing a corner, on rice and or fish tank gravel with bare feet. Any display of rebellion will start the time in the corner all over again. They will know the consequences long before such punishments are given and what I won't tolerate. The next to the most severe punishment is listening to a endless tape of Barney's Friend's song or TelleTubbies baby giggles and cooing, from a set of ear phones and the walkman. Most severe is total dismissal, removal of the collar and their belongings on the curb. I do like having fun and humor about but, I won't have SAMS or manipulating slaves/submissives. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs I agree wholeheartedly.. Well stated Hugs

maudite -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/30/2006 8:04:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirLordTrainer Or maybe Im a tad more experienced and you need to study more and catch up? This isnt kindergarten college, its B D S M.. Its Not about P A I N While I'm sure you have lots and lots of experience, that doesn't necessarily mean you've seen everything there is to see. Isn't it just possible that the reason all the subs you've known were into pain was because that's what you want/expect of your subs, and thus you select for that type? I don't know whether you've been active in your local scene, but that too can provide a skewed perspective; from what I've seen, the people who gravitate toward public scenes tend toward the SM end of the spectrum. In fact, because of the predominance of what you might call 'flogger culture', many people who aren't interested in pain may actively avoid their local scene because they feel intimidated or afraid they'll be branded a 'fake'. Indeed, people like you who feel they know what 'all' subs (or doms, or tops, or bottoms, or whatever) like are exactly why people like me avoid participating in BDSM culture outside of our own homes. Do you make such assumptions in other areas of your life? Do you assume that 'all' women want children, and that those of us who say we don't just don't know it yet, and will eventually change our minds? I run into that attitude a lot, and it's no more valid than the belief that all subs like pain. (Me, I can deal with some pain on occasion, but I'm not overfond of it. And I don't want kids, either. I've had 39 years to think about it, and I've thought a great deal about both topics, so I've got a pretty good idea what I do and don't want. Anyone who thinks they know what I want better than I do will quickly be talking to the back of my head as I walk away to find someone more sensible to talk to.) You've apparently forgotten that subs are people, and thus each one has her own unique wants, fears, and interests. Thinking you know what 'all' of any group of people wants is pure arrogance, and saying so only makes you look foolish.

glidewynd -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/30/2006 5:15:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: maudite quote: ORIGINAL: SirLordTrainer Or maybe Im a tad more experienced and you need to study more and catch up? This isnt kindergarten college, its B D S M.. Its Not about P A I N While I'm sure you have lots and lots of experience, that doesn't necessarily mean you've seen everything there is to see. Isn't it just possible that the reason all the subs you've known were into pain was because that's what you want/expect of your subs, and thus you select for that type? I don't know whether you've been active in your local scene, but that too can provide a skewed perspective; from what I've seen, the people who gravitate toward public scenes tend toward the SM end of the spectrum. In fact, because of the predominance of what you might call 'flogger culture', many people who aren't interested in pain may actively avoid their local scene because they feel intimidated or afraid they'll be branded a 'fake'. Indeed, people like you who feel they know what 'all' subs (or doms, or tops, or bottoms, or whatever) like are exactly why people like me avoid participating in BDSM culture outside of our own homes. Do you make such assumptions in other areas of your life? Do you assume that 'all' women want children, and that those of us who say we don't just don't know it yet, and will eventually change our minds? I run into that attitude a lot, and it's no more valid than the belief that all subs like pain. (Me, I can deal with some pain on occasion, but I'm not overfond of it. And I don't want kids, either. I've had 39 years to think about it, and I've thought a great deal about both topics, so I've got a pretty good idea what I do and don't want. Anyone who thinks they know what I want better than I do will quickly be talking to the back of my head as I walk away to find someone more sensible to talk to.) You've apparently forgotten that subs are people, and thus each one has her own unique wants, fears, and interests. Thinking you know what 'all' of any group of people wants is pure arrogance, and saying so only makes you look foolish. Very well said maudite. [sm=applause.gif]

velvetears -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/30/2006 5:30:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I see a lot of subs saying that they are fiesty and a handful. Then they say that they are not into floggings or spankings. The question is How do you disipline them. You're the dom - do as you wish with punishment. Sounds like you are allowing them to lead you, why do you care what they like or don't like when it comes to punishment - they aren't suppossed to like it - it's *punishment!*

Level -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/30/2006 6:03:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I see a lot of subs saying that they are fiesty and a handful. Then they say that they are not into floggings or spankings. The question is How do you disipline them. The dominant says, the submissive does. But first, the two should sit down and see how compatible they are. If they match, and the submissive is a good one [:D], there should be little or no need for discipline. You say, they do. If they don't do, or don't do well, you talk to them, get to the problem, and then they should correct their behaviour.

SirLordTrainer -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/30/2006 6:47:58 PM)
No sweetness, Im referring to ''lifestyle BDSM'' or those who choose to become a part of therein.. Vast difference.. As such I hope Im categorizing the brave souls who wish to explore themselves deeper .. Otherwise dont you think you may be shortchanging yourself out of something you may truly enjoy in the long run..

maudite -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/30/2006 9:52:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirLordTrainer No sweetness, Im referring to ''lifestyle BDSM'' or those who choose to become a part of therein.. Vast difference.. As such I hope Im categorizing the brave souls who wish to explore themselves deeper .. Otherwise dont you think you may be shortchanging yourself out of something you may truly enjoy in the long run.. No, Sparky, I think I may be shortchanging myself out of doing something a lot more interesting than talking to a wall. Surely one of my cats must be in dire need of flossing.

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/30/2006 9:55:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I see a lot of subs saying that they are fiesty and a handful. Then they say that they are not into floggings or spankings. The question is How do you disipline them. Have you tried communication?..Why would you want to jump straight into punishment mode?.If they are acting out in an unacceptable way then you have a lot more to worry about then how to punish,you have an issue that needs to be addressed...be well...Tempting

LadyMorgynn -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/30/2006 10:14:01 PM)
Honestly? I wouldn't. I'd tell them to move on down the road and find another Domme. quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I see a lot of subs saying that they are fiesty and a handful. Then they say that they are not into floggings or spankings. The question is How do you disipline them.

SirLordTrainer -> RE: Subs/Sams (10/1/2006 5:36:00 AM)
I kinda figured you for one of those cat flossers and while I do appreciate all the attention you keep entertaining Me with, try focusing on the OP ..

sharainks -> RE: Subs/Sams (10/1/2006 6:15:40 AM)
To me there is a difference between being a little playful during a scene and someone who is flat out disrespectful and mouthy, or acting out. To me its a matter of boundaries. If the dominant has set boundaries where mouthing off or challenging is not acceptable then a submissive doing so is a problem. The thing is, for me anyway, if a submissive is acting like that then its a dual problem. Something in the relationship is out of kilter. To me that should trigger communication about what the problem is. Engaging in physical punishment of someone who is obviously not respecting you is not likely to create more respect. Fear maybe, I'll grant that. I guess I would wonder how one finds oneself in a LTR with a sam type if that is unacceptable to them. I would think that pattern of behavior would be evident long before you have any kind of committment present.

wild1cfl -> RE: Subs/Sams (10/1/2006 6:20:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I see a lot of subs saying that they are fiesty and a handful. Then they say that they are not into floggings or spankings. The question is How do you disipline them. time out in the corner. If they are going to act like a child then treat them like a child.

Dnomyar -> RE: Subs/Sams (10/2/2006 7:05:11 AM)
Fist of all I wasnt talking about my subs. I just threw out the question because I was interested in seeing how others delt with SAMS. I threw in the spankings and floggings to toss out that equation. Thanks for the answers. I like a little fiesty. If they over did it they would be on my Not Interested list.

Nikolette -> RE: Subs/Sams (10/2/2006 8:17:36 AM)
Lady Hugs, as always you stated it correctly and eloquently. [sm=applause.gif] [sm=hello.gif] winks um um... I say what she said!

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